Yours forever, Prongs
by The fishes
Summary: The Marauders a group of pranksters emerge during Lily's 5th year and no one knows who they really are. As Lily returns to the Gryffindor Tower one morning, she finds an abandoned letter in a corridor. A letter addressed to her, written by Prongs the Marauder. What follows is a series of letters and a love story. Will Lily ever find out who Prongs and tell him that she loves him?
1. Chapter 1

**AN: J.K. Rowling owns the characters**

Lily Evans was not ready to be woken up on the first morning of her fifth year with a bang and that's exactly how she woke up. There was a loud bang somewhere in the castle, Lily sat bolt upright, Alice fell off her bed in shock. Marlene banged her head on her headboard and Mary who was an early riser fell off the bed laughing at their reactions. Cursing Potter and Black because Lily was sure it was them, she stormed out of the dormitory and ran down the stairs to the common room.

"POTTER" she screeched, "What the hell-" She stopped short when she saw him, looking blearily at her, leaning against Black who was dozing off against the banister of the stairs of the boy's dormitory. Lupin was rubbing his eyes sleepily and Pettigrew was nowhere to be found. At the sound of his name, Potter jerked awake and saw her "Hey Evans" he yawned. "Mind telling me what did I do this time?"

"What do you mean what have you done this time? Didn't you hear the loud bang? It was enough to wake the entire castle up and it's not even 5:00 in the morning yet." She huffed.

He rubbed his eyes and shook his head, "I had nothing to with it, Evans. I was sleeping in my dorm; we woke up when we heard the noise and came down to check. Peter never got out of bed it seems. If you don't believe me ask Remus. Now if you don't mind, I am off to bed. C'mon Sirius, let's go." He nudged Black who jerked awake slapping his knee away. "You coming?" Potter asked Remus.

"In a minute. You go ahead; it looks like Sirius would pass out here, if you keep him standing any longer." Remus said before turning to Lily.

"Well looks like our common room is safe, everybody get to bed. It's too early to gossip." Remus said. Lily watched as the crowd dispersed then turned to Remus, eyes narrowed. "Well, sweet dreams." Remus said turning to the stairs leading to the boy's dormitory.

"Now, wait just a minute Remus." Lily waited till Remus turned to face her. "Are you telling me that Potter and Black had nothing to do with this?"

Remus gave her an exasperated look, "Merlin Lily! They are really not that bad." Lily snorted. "And no, this time it wasn't them. Both of them love their beauty sleep a bit too much to destroy it for a prank no matter how funny it seems." Lily frowned before nodding. "Well, I will see you at breakfast then." She said as she turned to the Girl's dormitory stairs.

"Sure" Remus called back. Lily trudged all the way to the Fifth year girl's dormitory feeling cheated. Why would Potter lie? He was so arrogant, he would probably boast about it, but he didn't, damn! I didn't get a chance to shout at him. That toerag deserves all the shouting in the world. Lost in her thoughts of James Potter, Lily walked up to her bed and sank in it.

"So, what did James do this time?" Alice asked conversationally as Marlene snickered and Mary rolled her eyes. Alice Prewett and Marlene McKinnon had known James Potter all their lives, as they belonged to the same pureblood circles and maintained that he was a fun person to be with. Lily Evans felt otherwise, but they did not allow their differing opinions on James Potter to affect their friendship. Contemplating on her friendship with Alice and Alice's friendship with Potter Lily drifted off to sleep to wake up two hours later to get ready for breakfast.

8:00 a.m. was probably the peak time for breakfast crowd at Hogwarts. As Lily settled in her seat beside Alice and across from Marlene and Mary at the Gryffindor table, blue-green confetti started falling from the enchanted ceiling. The entire hall looked up to see an emblem shimmer which resembled the Hogwarts symbol but without any animals or any other symbols on the corners; a huge M in the middle and a motto which said " _Crede latronem semper Prank_ ". A message followed the now fading emblem, " _Messrs Moony, Wormtail, Padfoot and Prongs welcome everyone to a new term full of classes starting this morning. Also, Good luck with your breakfast."_ As soon as the message faded, all the tables in the Great hall including the high table of the teachers exploded, with food flying in every direction. A large bowl of porridge was dunked on Professor McGonagall's head, the other teachers and students weren't faring any better apart from professor Dumbledore, who had a shield charm up with his wand arm and was calmly eating breakfast with his other hand. After ten minutes of utter chaos, the food stopped flying, and Professor McGonagall strode to the Gryffindor table, looking for four boys who were emerging from under the table covered in pasties, eggs, porridge and pumpkin juice.

McGonagall stopped short at the perplexed expressions of the resident trouble makers of the school. "Potter, Black" she called in a crisp voice, "Explain yourselves."

"We did nothing Professor. Trust me this time it wasn't us." James said sincerely while Sirius clasped his hands on his heart feigning a hurt look. "Minnie!" he said reproachfully, "Had we pulled this brilliant prank off, would my flawless hair be covered in scrambled eggs? Everyone knows I would do nothing to jeopardise my hair."

McGonagall deflated slightly, it was true; everyone at Hogwarts knew, that Sirius Black was obsessed with his beautiful hair and that he would do nothing to harm it. She sighed, "If not you, then who would do this?"

"How would we know Professor?" Remus asked politely. "But might I suggest, once you find them, please introduce us, we would like to congratulate them on this brilliant prank" James added smiling charmingly. She looked at James and Sirius sternly, before turning on her heel and marching to Professor Dumbledore who was holding a meeting of some sort with the other teachers. After a few moments McGonagall announced that classes for the morning were cancelled as everyone needed to clean up and any form of magical cleaning proved ineffective; students were instructed to return to their common rooms where breakfast would be served to them and their schedules would be sorted by the heads of their houses later that morning. The students cheered before getting to their feet and walking out talking excitedly about the prank and guessing who these Marauders could possibly be.

As far as Lily Evans was concerned, as she tried to wash out the sticky pumpkin juice from her hair, the prank was brilliant but she knew that someone would catch the Marauders sooner or later. She had to admit, she was curious to meet these Marauders, they had managed to win the awe and respect of Black and Potter with just one prank, they had to be phenomenal.

Sadly months passed, the Marauders formed a pattern, one prank per month. The pranks were so out of the box that the school kept talking about them for days. Like during Halloween, the Marauders charmed the Suits of Armours to grab unsuspecting students and teachers and either start singing in a haunted tone or start dancing with them, the suits of armour then marched into the great hall during the feast and tap danced for five minutes before bowing and walking out to their positions. Lily loved that prank, even when no less than four suits of armour had grabbed her and danced with her, she loved the idea.

In November the Marauders had blocked all the passages leading to the great hall from the four common rooms with everlasting snow. As the teachers tried to banish the snow it started increasing, now spilling in various other corridors. It was Filch who ultimately started shovelling the snow and discovered that the snow would disappear almost instantly if it was removed manually. Classes were cancelled for the day as Filch, Hagrid and the other teachers shovelled the snow out to clear the passages. Breakfast again was served in the common room. Lily had laughed gleefully at this prank, like the rest of the school she waited eagerly for the next prank.

But apart from this Lily's life was pretty much the same, Potter still annoyed her and asked her out, Severus still told her that Mulciber and Avery's treatment of muggleborns is just harmless fun, she was doing well in her classes and Alice and Marlene still insisted on dragging Lily and Mary out on Saturday mornings to practice Quidditch. Alice was a chaser with Potter while Marlene was a beater with Black. Though she insisted that Black and she were just team mates, pretty much everyone could see that there was more to them than just team mates, well, everybody apart from maybe Marlene and Black. Patrolling the corridors with Remus was fun, but he missed patrolling every few weeks because his poor health wouldn't allow him to cope with the work load for more than a few weeks. He would spend at least a couple of days in the hospital wing and about a week recovering from whatever was making him sick. Lily had always felt sorry for Remus, but now that she had grown close to him as a friend, regarding him as the brother she never had, Lily felt sick with worry. It was unfair that he had to suffer so much at such a young age but Remus never complained, not once had Lily seen Remus be sad about not being able to do things that normal teenage boys did, he was happy with what he had.

It was the last Hogsmeade weekend before the Christmas break, Lily was really excited about finishing her shopping. In her excitement of reaching the entrance hall she rushed through the portrait hole and bumped into a tall figure.

"Ow! Watch where- Oh! Hey Evans" James Potter said as Black, Lupin and Pettigrew turned to look at them.

"Hey Potter, sorry about that." Lily said moving to the side, "Oh! Hey, Black, Pettigrew, Remus." Lily said nodding at them before trying to walk away; to her surprise she couldn't move. She guessed Potter faced the same problem because he was cussing under his breath. Lily heard Pettigrew snigger, looking up she saw Black smirk and Lupin shaking his head in disbelief.

"Sirius, get me out; right now, please!" Potter said politely, but to Lily it sounded like a threat.

"No can do mate." Sirius relied smirking.

"Remus, can you please give me a hand." Lily asked politely.

"Umm… I am sorry Lily, but no matter what I do, the two of you won't be able to move till you kiss each other." Remus replied.

"I am not kissing him." Lily replied, crossing her arms and jutting her chin out.

"Hey, I protest. I will have you know, I am an amazing kisser."

"I don't care Potter. I am not kissing you. Now get me out before I hex you."

"In case you didn't hear Remus, we can't get out till we kiss."

"So, this was your grand plan? Get me stuck here, till I kiss you. Let me tell you I am not going to kiss you."

"You think I planned it? Excuse me, Evans, but as far as I remember, _you_ bumped into _me_. How do I know that you didn't plan this?"

"Why would I plan this Potter? I have not been asking you out like crazy every freaking day for the past one year. No that has most definitely been _you._ You have more motive than I do."

Potter scoffed, "You love me flower; you just don't know it yet. You will though once you kiss me."

"Don't. Call. Me. Flower." She said poking him with every word.

"Oh but you are a flower, my Lily flower. Now what do you say to coming to Hogsmeade with me? I can ditch the boys for you."

"Get away from me Potter. I am not going anywhere with you. Now get me out of here, you sick, twisted-"

"HEY!" Marlene shouted making them both jump; looking around Lily noticed that the three boys were now joined by Marlene, Mary, Alice and Frank Longbottom, Alice's boyfriend and Headboy.

"You might want to look up." Alice said, barely hiding her amusement.

Lily and James looked up, ignoring their friends' snickers. Right above them was mistletoe hanging from what looked like a golden ring, a message flickering on the ring's borders. _Welcome to the pre-holidays snogfest. The mistletoe would be moving all over the school for the next two days, just grab whoever you want to snog and pull them under the mistletoe. The two of you won't be able to move till you kiss. Thank us later Ladies and Gents. Merry Christmas. M_

For the first time in her life Lily hated the Marauders, who would be stupid enough to come up with such an idea? A tiny part of her however, was imagining stopping Gale wood captain of the Gryffindor Quidditch team, under one such mistletoe with her. She had to admit, it was ingenious the major drawback being that she was now stuck under this stupid plant with James _bloody_ Potter who was smirking at her.

"Oh look! This was a prank by your precious Marauders." James said smirking; it was no secret to the Gryffindors that the perfect prefect Lily Evans was a fan of the Marauders. "Always think the worse of me don't you, Evans." He smirked smugly, crossing his arms across his chest. Lily followed the movement and realized with a jolt that Potter had an amazing body, to prevent her drooling, Lily looked into his eyes. _Bad move._ His hazel eyes, today looked like molten gold, they were on fire. Potter stared at her for a while before throwing his hands up; muttering "Oh! Screw this." and grabbing Lily's shoulders he pulled her to himself. Lily closed her eyes in anticipation as his face grew nearer, but the kiss never came, Potter held her against his chest engulfing her in a hug and resting his cheek in her hair, "I would never kiss you without your permission Evans and I would wait for the day, when you would kiss me without needing the mistletoe." He muttered before kissing her hair and stepping back.

Lily stood rooted to the spot, as she watched James Potter walk off with Black, Pettigrew and Remus. Maybe Potter was really not as bad as she had come to believe. "Earth to Lily" Marlene said waving her arm in front of Lily, "Will you quit drooling after Potter and move? We have some shopping to do." Lily nodded absentmindedly, allowing Marlene and Mary to steer her away.

 **AN: crede latronem semper Prank is latin for Trust a marauder to always prank. This is my first Jily fic. Please do read and review. Happy reading.**


	2. Chapter 2

**AN: Queen Rowling owns them all.**

The next morning something had changed, Lily could feel it. When she reached the Great Hall for breakfast, she knew exactly what was wrong. The Gryffindor table was too quiet; Potter and Black weren't talking to each other. Pettigrew sitting next to Potter, across from Black was pushing his eggs around the plate, looking up to glance nervously at Potter and Black as both of them sported identical blank looks. Almost the entire table was looking at them, Lily included. Black and Potter had never been in a fight with each other, they were rumoured to be twins born from separate mothers.

"What's wrong with them?" Lily whispered to Alice who shook her head "No idea, Frank doesn't know anything either and he is worried. He says that the last time James refused to talk to someone was when he was seven and his parents had postponed his trip to Greece to visit his uncle Anthony because they were caught up in a case. I remember that time, it lasted a week and I don't want it to happen again. Ever."

"Okay. And where is Remus?"

"Hospital wing."

"Again?"

"Well, you know they say he is really sick."

Lily nodded and looked at Marlene and Mary sitting across from them, they shrugged and Lily went back to her breakfast but something was missing. Somehow she had failed to notice how much she was used to Potter's and Black's laughter. She felt like she was attending a mourning with people whispering to each other rather than talking. Classes that day felt subdued. Lily hoped that once Remus joined them back things would be better. Two days later when Remus did join them, things got worse. At least Remus could get Potter to talk, but Black looked depressed. Lily thought one of these days Black would break. By the end of the week even McGonagall lost it and lectured them on resolving their differences and going back to being the nuisance that they were. Lily hoped that things would change over the weekend; no one knew what had happened between the four of them. The one thing Lily marvelled about the four of them was that they always had each other's back, even when they were fighting. Lily noticed that Remus discreetly corrected Black's potion as Black was poring over his potions book. Black covering Potter and Remus with thick blankets as the two passed out on the couches in the common room while finishing their homework; Lily could swear that he affectionately ruffled their hair before neatly rolling up their homework and putting away their things. Peter was seen taking food to the boys' dormitory on a Saturday, two weeks after the four fought. Black had apparently over slept and skipped breakfast, so Potter and Remus had prepared a plate for him and asked Peter to deliver it.

It was a pleasant surprise for the entire table and McGonagall, when on Sunday morning which was the last day of the term, the four boys were sitting at the table throwing food at each other and laughing their head off. As Lily sat in her usual place next to Alice; Alice grinned at her and said "Looks like our adorable trouble makers are back." Lily rolled her eyes before looking at the four boys. Remus held his Arithmancy book in front of him as a shield, as Potter flicked his porridge at him, Black had a magical shield around him and was reading the paper while Pettigrew had ducked under the table, and all of them were laughing.

Feeling reasonably cheerful, Lily looked over at the Slytherin table and grinned at Severus, jerking her head towards the door of the hall before packing her toast and walking out of the hall. Lily had to wait a few minutes, before Severus joined her in the entrance hall.

"To what do I owe this pleasure, Miss Evans?" Severus asked smirking at her. She grinned.

"Well, it's just 8:30 and the carriages won't leave till 10:00, I thought maybe we could go for a walk around the lake."

Severus smiled as Lily linked her arm with his and led him out. They spent their time walking and laughing about silly things. They weren't a Gryffindor and a Slytherin, they were back to being Severus and Lily, best friends forever. It was around 9:30 when Severus checked his watch and suggested that they better head inside and get their trunks. As they reached the entrance hall, Lily gave Severus a tight hug, "I missed you Sev. I missed this, I hate arguing with you and that's what we had been doing for a while. I was afraid that I was losing you. Promise me, no matter what happens we will not lose each other."

"Of course Lils. I can't afford to lose you." He smiled softly at her before walking towards the dungeons as Lily walked up towards the tower. As she was crossing a corridor, a piece of parchment fluttered at her feet; picking it up she was shocked to see that it was a letter addressed to her.

 _Dear Lily_

 _I know you will never read this letter. I know your brow won't furrow in concentration and your teeth won't bite your lower lip, as your green eyes rove through this letter. You won't shake your head, walk over and hug me. No, I know your warm hands won't even write a reply to this letter because I will never send it to you but I need to write this to you. I need to tell someone about all the things that are eating me up. I know if I come up and tell you about all my worries you probably won't believe me. You see that cheerful person I always am, is just as an act. It wasn't an act when we were younger but then the war intensified and I am worried. I am worried that I will lose everyone I care about._

 _Mum and dad went on a mission and haven't returned yet, they have not written in a week. It worries me, what if they don't come back? I am only 15! How am I supposed to live? How will I live without them? They are all I have. Uncle Toni wrote yesterday, assuring me that everything was fine and mom and dad would return like they always do. I hope they do, I know I shouldn't feel this, but I am relieved that I won't be alone at home on Christmas. The entire family is coming together for Christmas, I rather like this tradition._

 _Well, you know about my brothers don't you? Paddy, Moony and Wormy, they were supposed to come over during the break, after Christmas and stay till New Year but I don't know about that anymore. I know Paddy is impulsive; he acts before he thinks, but he has his heart in the right place. Obviously, you know what I am talking about, I told you about it in my last letter. I am afraid that I will lose the three of them this way or that. Either Voldemort or his cronies would kill them or we would fall apart because of our own short comings and what would I do without them? I am who I am because of them; they are a part of me. I don't want to lose them and I don't want to lose you._

 _Promise me Lily, you would always be the fiery person that you are now. That your green eyes will always burn with fire and you would always toss your beautiful red hair as you march out in your anger. Promise me your eyes would always be the windows to your soul; promise me you would always worry your lip when you concentrate on your work or feel upset. Promise me that your heart will always beat and I promise you, that I will do everything in my power to keep you smiling, to keep your heart beating; I will die for you Lily, all you have to do is promise to live for me._

 _Well, I should get going. Moony is giving me weird looks; he really wants to know who do I keep writing to all the time. I bet the idiots would never let me live this down; not to mention plan an elaborate plan to let you know that Prongs, Marauder Extraordinaire is crazy about you. I really am, I wish I could take you out on a date but if you knew who I am, you won't give me the time of the day; I am so sure of it. And why would you? You are perfect and I am a mess, I lose my marbles around you. Why would you give your time to me? Anyway, I really, really, really have to go now before Moony comes over and snatches the letter from me. I told him I was writing down an elaborate prank plan for the start of next term. Love you._

 _Yours forever_

 _Prongs_

Lily was still thinking about the letter as she sat down next to Marlene in their compartment aboard the Hogwarts Express. "Hey, why are you so lost today?" Marlene asked nudging Lily, as Alice and Frank entered the compartment and sat down across Marlene and Lily next to Mary.

"Yeah Lils. You have been rather distant this morning." Alice commented.

Lily stared at her friends, debating internally. She wanted to talk to someone about the letter but she didn't want to share the letter with anyone either; it was a secret letter, she wasn't supposed to receive it but she had and it was so touching, so passionate, so full of love. She wasn't sure that any boy in her year would be so passionate but Prongs was and he _loved_ her, at least that's what he said in his letter. Deciding that she won't be able to live with the secret and knowing that she won't receive another letter ever, she told them about the abandoned letter from Prongs.

"I don't know Lily, this Prongs character sounds shady. I mean isn't he exhibiting stalker tendency? How does he know so much about you, while you know nothing about him?" Marlene said looking skeptical.

"But Lily was never supposed to get this letter, maybe he writes to her to clear his head." Mary pointed out.

"Exactly my point! That's creepy, stalker behaviour."

"Or maybe Lily does know Prongs, maybe they are friends. Lily has a lot of friends, maybe he is someone she knows and spends some time with." Alice interjected as Frank observed all of them.

"Whatever it is, I think this is really romantic." Mary added

"Why are you guys discussing it? As the letter said, Prongs never meant to send the letter to Lily here. She probably won't receive anymore letters and it's not as if Lily can reply back to this guy anyhow." Frank interjected. Alice gave him an exasperated look before reluctantly dropping the topic and moving on to discuss other things. After a while Frank left saying he wanted to meet his mates Fabian and Gideon (Alice's cousins) and James before reaching London.

Four boys sat in a compartment not far from Lily's compartment, munching on pumpkin pasties; Bertie Bott's every flavour beans, Chocolate frogs and Liquorice wands that they had just bought from the food trolley. Frank stepped in and sat down next to the handsome boy with wavy black hair and stormy grey eyes and looked across at his little cousin, with unruly jet black hair and hazel eyes.

"Hey, mom said that she would be at the station to take us to the Manor. Uncle Toni would be arriving tomorrow morning." His cousin nodded before offering him a chocolate frog. "Thanks, Prongs."

The mood of the compartment changed immediately, from being cheerful and relaxed to being charged with tension. "Why would you call me Prongs? No one knows who the Marauders are" His cousin stammered.

"Oh! Well, let's see; maybe because a certain redhead found an abandoned letter addressed to her in a corridor at school; a letter written by Prongs." He said, enjoying the affect his words had, as the remaining three boys stared at his cousin, listening intently.

"Don't worry, the letter was very vague. But do you know what was particularly interesting, Jamie?" James Potter shook his head looking mortified.

"The letter talked about Prongs' parents. Apparently they had gone off on a mission somewhere and haven't returned yet. Now, who do we know, whose parents went off on a mission and haven't returned yet?" Frank asked looking pointedly at him.

"James Potter, what did you do?" Remus asked in a tired voice.

"N-nothing!" James stammered, "She wasn't supposed to get the letter! I never sent it to her. I- I- I must have dropped it by accident. I swear, she won't get another letter ever. And Frankie you won't tell anyone right?"

"Yeah, sure. I won't tell anyone. But keep being careless and I won't need to tell anyone, they will find out themselves." Frank said leaving the compartment. Silence descended in the compartment as the three boys watched James warily.

"Look, I promise. I have written loads of letters to her, none of them have reached her. I don't want them to reach her. It was an honest mistake. I would be more careful, I promise."

"Well, maybe you shouldn't be more careful." Sirius said suddenly.

Three boys rounded at him looking nonplussed. "What do you mean he shouldn't be more careful?" Remus asked narrowing his eyes.

"Well, you heard Frank. Evans is thinking about Prongs here and thinking positively about him. Maybe you should write to her more. Let her see your normal side. You know the side that the rest of us see."

"Why can't he simply talk to Lily and befriend her and show her this normal side of his?" Remus asked.

"Because all of us know that Prongsie here loses his thinking skills when he is around her. His brain goes into some sort of idiocy over drive and he makes a complete prat of himself in front of her. Maybe he should write to her and then later on reveal who he is. You know, a little more dramatically. Girls love drama." Sirius declared confidently.

"Well, you do have a point, but this looks like a bad idea. Maybe Prongs should practice talking to her like a normal person and then attempt a friendship. Revealing his identity as Prongs means revealing a little bit of our secrets." Remus said.

"Well, weren't you planning on telling her about your furry little problem as it is?"

"I wouldn't have to tell her, had you not sent Snivellus down to visit me."

"I am sorry Moony, I really am. I was pissed, I wasn't thinking. You will never know how much I regret it."

"Forget it, I have moved on from it. I suggest you do too. All of us make mistakes. Nothing bad happened, thanks to Prongs. But I do have to tell her soon."

"I think Pads is right, I will keep writing to Lily. It helps me cope and now she can reply back to me." James said suddenly with a dreamy look on his face. Sirius beamed at him, Remus shook his head muttering that he still thought it was a bad idea and Peter snored, having dozed off somewhere in the middle of the conversation.

 **AN: Please do read and review. Let me know what you think about Jily and the Marauders. This will probably be a long fic, I would need all the support and motivation to finish it. Please to read and review. Happy reading.**


	3. Chapter 3

**AN: J.K. Rowling owns the Potter universe**

Lily stormed to her room, trying to stem her angry tears. Christmas had been horrible this year. Not only was Severus too busy to call or visit or meet her in the park these holidays, Petunia had taken it upon herself to make Lily's life miserable. Lily touched her cheek gingerly. Petunia had crossed all limits! Not only had she ignored Lily on Christmas, fawning over her walrus of a boyfriend. She slapped Lily for embarrassing her in front of Vernon by calling her 'Tuney'. Vernon or Vermin, according to Petunia was a proper man, with proper mannerisms. He didn't believe in silly nicknames, Lily should have been careful. Lily plopped down on her bed, finally dissolving to tears. There was a sudden tap on her window.

Lily cursed, willing the intruder to go away, but the tapping continued. "Go away" she muttered looking at the window and noticed a tawny owl she hadn't seen before. Rolling her eyes, Lily got out of bed and opened the window. The owl dropped a tiny box and a letter on her bed and perched itself on her dresser near Athena's (Lily's owl) cage. Lily offered the bird some owl treat and water and stroked its head gently. "Well, Athena is out delivering gifts to friends. I am sorry I am such a surly company today. Anyway, you can rest here for a while." The owl hooted softly before ducking its head under a wing and sleeping.

Lily walked to her bed and pulled the box on her lap. She gasped at the beautiful gift. It was a silver chain with a Lily pendant of moonstone set in silver. She gingerly touched the pendant before putting it on. She looked at the letter; it was addressed to her and sealed in purpled wax shaped as the letter M. Lily smiled for the first time since she got home. A letter from a marauder, she hoped Prongs had written to her finally.

 _Dear Lily,_

 _Merry Christmas! I hope you like your present. It isn't much, but when I saw it I knew it belonged to you. Forgive me for eavesdropping but I was passing by your compartment on the train when I overheard you talk about a certain letter that you weren't supposed to receive. I am sorry for what it said. It's not fair of me to write to you and burden you with my worries without shouldering the burden of your fears. A one sided relationship is a lonely relationship because I can keep sending letters to you but how will you ever respond back? Maybe that is one the many reasons why I never posted a letter to you._

 _I need you to understand that the letter was never meant to reach you, it's just s stroke of luck that it did. I know your brilliant, curious mind wants to know me. I maybe wrong and you might not wish to know me at all, after all we all pretend in front of others. I am a master at keeping up pretences, maybe you are one too. We all have our secrets. You can ignore this letter if you are not curious at all. But if you are curious please forget the last letter. It was not supposed to reach you. I would never force my friendship on you. I write this now to ask you forget the whole incidence._

 _I apologise again for burdening you with my problems. I assure you that you will never receive another letter from me. It is not quite right to keep up this correspondence, because I will always keep my identity secret but you don't have a secret identity. It won't be a relationship of equals._

 _I know the reasons sound lame. But I assure you, if you knew who I really am, you would probably not wish to talk to me or see my face ever again. I don't think I will be able to deal with your hatred._

 _Merry Christmas once again!_

 _Goodbye._

 _Yours forever_

 _Prongs_

Lily frowned, she agreed the reasons were lame but was awed by Prongs' sense of fairness. Maybe he was a Hufflepuff; Lily understood that he had to keep his identity secret and thus could not correspond regularly with her. She appreciated his efforts. Without really thinking, Lily got to her desk and pulled a parchment to herself. After being satisfied with her letter, she picked up a Lily from the bouquet on her desk and stuck it with the letter before rolling it up. She smiled fondly at the bouquet, Severus had gifted this to her on her last birthday, the Lilies were all magically conjured and charmed with an everlasting charm. This he said was how he saw Lily, always charming and alive. Turning to her dresser, she prodded the owl awake. The tawny bird hooted indignantly. "Look, I am sorry, but I need you to take this letter back. Not now, you can rest for a bit, I will leave the window open. You can fly off later" The tawny bird gave Lily a withering look before sticking its leg out. Lily smiled slightly at the bird before sitting by her window. Looking down Lily spied Severus' frame as he made his way to her home. She waved at him and then ran down the stairs, picking his present from the table before heading out.

Severus was waiting for Lily on the porch. Dressed in a long black coat and trousers, his hair tied back, he almost looked aristocratic, not the way Black did but then, not all of them could look that good. Severus smiled at Lily before offering his hand to her. They walked silently, arms linked, looking at the twinkling Christmas lights on all the houses on the way to their park. Even the park was decorated with lights; Lily sank on a bench with Severus next to her. She turned to look at him, he looked fine. No bruise marks this time, he looked almost happy before he frowned as he studied her face. Pushing her hair out of her face, he cupped her cheek and ran his gloved thumb on the now purple bruise on her cheek; Petunia's Christmas gift. Lily winced in pain. Severus withdrew his hand immediately.

"Lily?" He asked, his calm voice laced with deep anger, "Who did this to you?"

"It's nothing Sev, really. I am fine." She replied in a false cheery voice, "Let's exchange our presents, shall we?"

"But Lily! Wh-"

"Can't we drop it Sev?" She looked at him pleadingly, "Please? I don't want to talk about it."

Severus' eyes hardened, "Petunia." He spat the name out angrily.

"She is still my sister, Severus." He snorted.

"Severus." Lily said warningly "Let this go. I am done with her. This is the last time she did what she could to me. She would receive a good bat bogey hex if she does it again."

Severus closed his eyes. Pinching the bridge of his nose, he nodded. He passed Lily her present nudging her shoulder to open it. Lily opened the thin box to find a silver charm bracelet in it. It had a Lily flower; she beamed at him and pulled him a tight hug. "It's beautiful." She whispered in his ear before breaking apart. Severus beamed at her, "I am glad you like it. It's charmed. It will add more charms as soon as you wear it, representing everything that is dear to you. Do you want me to put it on for you?" Lily pushed her left wrist forward to Severus.

As soon as the bracelet touched her wrist, silver mist covered the bracelet, clearing up a few minutes later. Lily gasped at the number of charms added. There was a muffin which represented her mother who worked as a baker. There was a car representing her father who was a cars salesman. There was a book, a cauldron and a wand; she knew they stood for her love for books, magic and potions. There was a quaffle and a beater's bat representing Alice and Marlene. To Lily and Severus' dismay, there was one shaped like a Petunia. Followed by a high heeled shoe that Lily swore was for Mary. The one that Lily liked the most was of a swing, she knew this was Severus', they laughed softly at the symbolism. Curiously enough, there were two charms that made no sense to her. One was the shape of a coin, with dents on its surface and the other was the shape of antlers. Lily looked at Severus who looked just as confused. He touched the coin and frowned, before looking away.

Lily knew Severus was angry, but she didn't know why. "Sev?" He didn't reply. She touched his shoulder, "Sev? What is it? Do you know what the coin charm means?"

"You mean you don't know what it means?" he scoffed "Why do you care about him so much?" He asked angrily.

"Who do I care about so much?"

"Lupin!" He hissed, his eyes blazing with hatred.

"You think this charm represents Remus? Why would he be a corroded coin?" Lily wondered aloud

"It's not a corroded coin." Severus said with a cruel look on his face "It's the full moon. I told you he is a werewolf, why do you care about a half breed like him?"

Lily's eyes blazed with anger. Ever since Severus had started hinting that Remus might be a werewolf Lily had started suspecting it too. She didn't want to believe it. She had seen how sick, pale and beaten up Remus looked after his return from hospital wing. She pitied him for all the pain he went through. Last month, she had checked the lunar charts, it was enough to confirm Severus' suspicion, but she had decided to keep Remus' secret. Remus deserved a good life; he was not a monster.

"They say he is sick, Severus." She said in a deadly voice "And it's not nice to look at werewolves as something less than human. They are victims of a curse. Show some compassion! And Remus is like the brother I always wanted but never had. I love him as much as I love you. Get over it."

Severus looked at her indignantly, "Victim? Werewolves are monsters, Lily. They are more animal than human. Why do you think they are banned from mingling with civil society?

"Oh please, Severus! You almost sound like Petunia when she starts off with her freak business and how wizards should be separated from muggles because they are unfit for civil society. It's the same prejudice and its one step away from saying muggleborns are lesser than purebloods and thus unfit to carry proper wizarding pride. Voldemort is actually selling that kind of bull crap and killing people for it."

Severus flinched at the mention of Voldemort's name but said nothing as Lily continued. "I mean really, standing for one kind of prejudice and oppression is supporting all of them. You told me that being a muggleborn won't make a difference at Hogwarts and yet, I have to face being scorned as a "mudblood" at least ten times a day not to mention, hear whispers of a war brewing in the horizon because Voldemort won't stop spewing his ideas of wizards dominating the world."

Severus flinched again, "Will you stop taking the Dark Lord's name?" he hissed at Lily.

"Why should I? It's not like not taking his name guarantees safety. He would still attack me if he wants to. I am not afraid of his stupid name." Lily huffed, crossing her arms across her chest. They sat in angry silence, after a while Severus turned to look at her. She was beautiful, especially in the soft yellow light from the nearby trees, she looked radiant. Thick red hair, flowing down to her shoulders in beautiful waves. Pale skin and freckles standing out against her black jacket, emerald green eyes, looking straight ahead, ablaze with a dull fire. He sighed "Look, I am sorry. I shouldn't have been so unkind to you. I really can't control who you care about. I am just worried about you. What if you get too close to a werewolf and get bitten or worse mauled and killed? I am just worried about you. Can we not fight anymore, please Princess Lily?"

Lily smiled despite herself at the use of her childhood nickname. As eight year olds, Severus and Lily would play a game where Princess Lily and Prince Severus would go on adventures to slay dragons and save people. She looked at him and sighed "Yeah, okay. No fighting." Severus grinned at her before casually slinging his arm around her shoulder, "So, brave Princess. Where is my Christmas present?" Lily laughed before shoving a package in his hands.

The wrappings gave way to a hand knit midnight blue jumper and grey scarf. "It's not much." Lily said blushing "But this year I wanted to give something personal to you. I made these without magic."

"Lily" Severus breathed "You shouldn't have."

"I wanted to put in the effort, to show I care about you." She smiled softly.

"How long did it take you?"

"I started in June." Lily said blushing again, tucking her hair behind her year, "I wasn't very good at it initially so I had to do it again. Not to mention, they are hardly letting us breathe this year. I just finished it two days ago. I hope you like it."

"Lily, I love it. Thank you." Lily looked into Severus' eyes; they were blazing with some emotion she couldn't really understand. She looked away blushing. Severus tucked her hair behind her ear and gently caressed the bruise. "Lily" his voice was tortured "What happened? Why did she do this? Please Lils, talk to me." Lily brushed away the tears threatening to spill down her eyes. She turned to smile at Severus.

"She slapped me because I embarrassed her. I am not supposed to call her Tuney in front of her whale of a boyfriend."

"Are you going to tell your parents about it?"

"No." Her chin jutted out stubbornly.

"But Lily, she can't do this to you, if your parents knew, they would put an end to it."

"Sev, I can't keep running to an authority figure for all of my problems. I will have to learn to deal with them on my own. Also, if I do tell mom and dad, what would that achieve? It won't change her heart or make her realize that she hurt me. She did this on purpose, not out anger but out of spite and jealousy. She knew what she was doing. That won't change. She hasn't forgiven me for being a witch. And its okay, she doesn't matter. I can't let her get to me."

Severus nodded. "So, did you get any other satisfactory gifts this Christmas?" he asked cheekily.

Lily grinned, "Yup. All my gifts were satisfactory including this." She pulled the chain out from beneath her jumper and showed it to Severus.

"It's beautiful" He said, examining the locket, "It's so much like you. Pure, pristine and delicate to look at but stronger than one could have imagined. Your parents got this for you?"

Lily shook her head with an excited twinkle in her eyes. "No. Prongs did." Severus frowned "Do you know him?"

"No, but he writes letters to me and never posts them. I accidentally came across one in an abandoned corridor on the last day of the term. Well, I guess he overheard me talking about it on the train with the girls. He sent me a letter today telling me that he won't ever correspond with me and I shouldn't have received the letter in the first place. The gift came with the letter."

Severus frowned before relaxing, "Why didn't he want you to receive his letters?"

"Because it would be an unequal relationship where he knows who I am but I know nothing about him. Also, while he can send me letters, I can't write back, in case the owl delivers the post to him in front of me, giving away his identity. But it's okay. I wrote back to him. Remember that lose brick on our fountain?" Severus nodded.

"I told him I will leave my replies there and he can pick them up whenever. It balances out the equation too. I am trusting him without knowing his identity and he has to trust me to not go looking for him." Lily grinned pleased with herself. Severus' frown deepened "Would you like to know who he is?"

Lily grinned at him, "Of course yes!"

"What if he is someone loathsome or unworthy? Like Potter."

Lily snorted, "Please. Potter doesn't even understand the meaning of being fair to people. Prongs has an acute sense of fairness. Probably he is Hufflepuff. It's brilliant; I mean who would ever doubt a Hufflepuff?"

"I don't like this."

"You don't have to."

"What if he hurts you?"

"I would come running to you and demand your shoulder to cry on." She answered cheekily.

"Will I be allowed to say 'I told you so.'?"

"No."

"Come on, you are not being fair with me."

"Okay fine. You can say that, but just once. You say it again and I will hex you."

"Fine. Before you go meeting him, will you warn me at least?"

"Of course I will inform you. In case I go missing or am found dead, you would know who is to be blamed."

"Ah. Don't worry; I will get you justice."

"Thanks Sev. I knew I could trust you." Lily said with a straight face before she caught Severus' eye and they burst out laughing.

 **AN: Next up James' POV. Please do read and review. Happy reading.**


	4. Chapter 4

**AN: Queen Rowling**

James Potter sat at the breakfast table, waiting impatiently for the arrival of his cousins Percy and Frank. "Good morning, Jamie" Dorea Potter said as she entered the kitchen. James' spoon fell in his bowl with a clatter "MUM!" he yelled, jumping up and barrelling into her, giving her a tight hug.

"When did you get back? And where is dad? How was your mission? Damn! You look like hell, Mum."

Dorea Potter laughed, "Slow down Jamie. We got back late last night; you were already in bed so we didn't wake you. The mission was fine and of course I look bad. You should see your dad he looks worse; we spent two weeks surviving on wild berries."

James looked closely at his mother, she looked pale and thin, with dark bags under her eyes. But apart from that she looked fine. At least this time she did not come home wrapped in bandages. "Where is dad?"

"Still in bed. Much like your brother. He is never going to learn is he?

James grinned shaking his head as Dorea nodded. "So how about we get some breakfast and exchange stories?"

"I already had breakfast, but I could do with some orange juice. And go sit down, I will ask Mippy to get you some solid food."

Dorea grinned at her son before gracefully sitting down at the breakfast table. James settled next to Dorea as Mippy placed a plate of toast, bacon and eggs in front of her, accompanied by tea.

"So, how was your term? I am sorry we missed out most of it. Did you get in a lot of trouble?"

James grinned conspiratorially, "We didn't get in much trouble this term. Probably 3 weeks of detention as a whole."

Dorea spluttered, "Since when have you been so well behaved?"

"Since the Marauders became the resident pranksters."

"Weren't you boys calling yourselves that this summer?"

"How did you know about that?"

"Please! I am your mother, an Auror and a Black, not necessarily in that order."

"Mum! Can't a bloke have any secrets from his parents?"

"Not if the bloke is James Potter and has Sirius Black for a brother."

He sighed in defeat. "Okay, fine. Yes, we are the Marauders but no one at school knows who the Marauders are, well except Frankie. We caused as much havoc as we used to, maybe more but no one has caught us yet."

She shook her head, "I knew it! The four of you can't behave yourselves, even if your life depended on it."

James grinned, "Says the woman who dunked ice cream on Sirius' dad's head when she was 17."

Dorea stared at him, "How do you know about that incident?"

"Please! I am your son, a Marauder and I really can't think of the third thing, but I am supercool."

"Well, I will have you know that Orion was being a humungous git. He deserved it."

"Of course he did." James said in a placating tone.

"MAMA P." Sirius yelled as he entered the kitchen, making James and Dorea jump. He ran to her, hugging her tightly. "When did you come back? Thank Merlin! You are alright. I was worried sick. Damn! You look like a mess. You need to eat to be your beautiful self again. Not that you look any less beautiful now, but-"

"Sirius! Calm down!" James cut in to stop Sirius from blabbing himself silly. "Sit down! Mippy will get you some breakfast."

"How are you Sirius? Are you excited about your introductory ball?"

Sirius spluttered on his juice, "Introductory ball?"

"Yes, Introductory ball. James and you will be formally introduced to the wizarding society this Christmas. Don't tell me you forgot about that?"

James groaned as Sirius pushed his eggs around his plate. "But Aunt Dorie. Who would introduce me? It's not as if father would throw a ball in my honour."

Dorea snorted, "Of course he won't. He has always been a git. We settled it before we left. We would be throwing the ball for the two of you. Orion and Walburga would have to attend it though, to keep appearances. I am your aunt, so no one will think of it as something odd."

Sirius nodded mutely as James frowned. "Cheer up" Dorea said, "You will get to dance with a lot of pretty women and the catering is being taken care of by the Dragon Fire. The food would be good. And you can invite all your friends."

Sirius perked up a little but James kept on frowning. "What is it Jamie?" Dorea asked.

Sirius smirked, "Jamie is upset because the girl he wants to invite to the ball would probably hex him on sight."

"Who is this firecracker then?" She asked smirking.

"You know her." Sirius said grinning as James blushed, "She is the only one he talks about."

"That Evans girl? I thought she was your archenemy."

"Exactly Mrs.P; she _was_ his archenemy. He has been pining for her like a lovesick puppy since the last term. It was driving us mad."

"Oh Jamie! You are growing up so fast." Dorea said, ruffling James's hair, "Don't worry; she will realize what a catch you are."

Sirius snorted in his food. As Frank, Augusta and Graham Longbottom entered the kitchen followed by Charlus Potter. Anthony, Althea and Perseus Potter joined the family by lunch; after much excited chattering everyone drifted off to the drawing room to plan the ball which they would be holding in 4 days.

James, Percy, Sirius and Frank spent the afternoon having a snowball fight and discussing their love lives and teasing James about Evans. By tea the four cold and wet boys trudged back inside and hurried off to change their clothes and warm up a little. Feeling hungry, James wandered down to the kitchen where he found Althea Potter sipping her tea and going through a list of some kind. She smiled at James as he entered; offering him some tea and strawberry cake.

Althea Potter was a strikingly beautiful woman. She had tanned skin, thin face with high cheekbones, wavy black hair and bright blue eyes. Unlike Dorea Potter who looked delicate, she looked sturdy with a naturally curvaceous figure and well toned arms and legs. But what made her a remarkable woman was the laughter and kindness in her eyes, they never left her even in the worst of situations, Althea Potter always had a smile and kind words. She adored James and James adored her.

As James sat next to her on the breakfast table in the kitchen, Althea Potter sighed. "What is troubling you Aunt Thea?"

"This stupid list! Every year we throw this damn ball! Why can't we make a permanent list of things required and get done with it?" She muttered angrily.

"But I thought you love the Yuletide Ball."

"Of course I love it. What's not to love? There is good food that the restaurant provides, good music, merry people and your uncle gets drunk enough to dance without complaining much." She concluded, smirking.

James grinned before frowning. "At least you get to dance with the one you wish to dance with." He muttered dejectedly.

"Ah! Your mother did tell me. You boys are growing up a bit too fast. Next thing we know, you are married and expecting children of your own. I am too young to be a grandmother and I would be too young for at least the next 15 years." She said pouting.

James laughed. "Better not tell Percy that. He would throw a fit. You know how he adores Alexandra. Everyone knows they would end up together before they leave school."

She sighed, nodding before perking up. "So, what is this anonymous prankster business your mother was telling me about?"

"Seriously? It's like we can't have one bloody secret in this family! Do you have to be such gossip mongers?"

"Yes. Our lives are mundane; we have fun gossiping about you kids." She answered cheekily.

"Yes. Peter, Remus, Sirius and I have created our alter egos, depending on our patronuses and now we have an anonymous group named the Marauders to blame for our pranks."

"Are you sure it's just your patronuses and not your inner animals?"

James choked on his tea, "What are you talking about?"

"You know at Circe's they teach us this ancient form of magic which enables one to recognise shape shifters. Circe herself was a shape shifter or what you call a metamorphmagus and she created this spell to detect all types of shape shifters. The magic is so ancient, that once you successfully cast the spell it has a permanent effect. Not many people can cast it successfully so they teach us the theory, but in my curiosity, I tried and I was successful. Now I can feel a shape shifter before I see one. I can't explain the feeling to you but I know that Sirius and you are shape shifters but unlike Remus. What did you do James? And don't lie to me."

"Fine. But swear that you won't tell anyone." She nodded, "Sirius, Peter and I became animagi to help Remus with his transformations on full moon. A werewolf is dangerous to humans, as animals we can keep him company and not fear any extreme consequences."

"That's an extremely dangerous thing to do! You could have died! Why didn't you ask your parents or us for help?"

"Would you have allowed it, after knowing our intentions? It's not Remus' fault, why should he suffer alone then? He used to chew himself to the bone in his loneliness. How is that fair? At least with us there he is sane enough. We didn't do anything wrong!" James said folding his arm across his chest, his chin jutting out stubbornly.

"Oh James! I am not saying you did something wrong. It's just that it's a dangerous branch of magic; you could have been grievously injured. You are so much like Percy; loyal to a fault. I guess, there is no point dwelling over it, what's done is done. I am proud of you though. That's quite an achievement at such a young age. What are you as an animal? I hope you are strong enough to handle a werewolf."

James grinned, "I am a stag. Sirius is a huge shaggy dog. The two of us are able to keep Remus in check." Althea nodded, staring absently at her list. They sat in silence as Althea's quill continued to scratch the parchment in front of her.

"Aunt Thea?"

"Yes, James."

"Can I as you something?"

"Sure."

"Umm… When we were trying to become animagi and failing, I started writing down my frustration and fears in the form of these letters addressed to Lily. I never planned on sending any of those to her but it kind of became a habit for me and I continued to write to her. Well, she found one of those letters in an empty corridor at school yesterday. Since I always signed those letters with my animagus form's nickname; the one I use as a Marauder now, she is curious about me. Sirius says this is my only chance to make her see the non- prat side of me and that I should continue writing to her as Prongs and then reveal my true identity later. I like the idea, but I would like your opinion."

Althea Potter took her time in figuring out a good enough response.

"Imagine coming across a letter addressed to you, which is intimate and signed by a mysterious name. You would be curious right?" James nodded.

"Now imagine receiving several such letters, maybe even having a proper correspondence with this mystery person, to the point that you start thinking of them as a friend or maybe more. And then one day you find out that your mystery person is the person you hate or dislike. How would you feel?"

"Betrayed. I would feel stupid, as if someone successfully made a fool of me and my emotions. But I love her! I won't ever do that to her."

"Agreed. But would you trust the other person? Would you believe him/her when they say that they genuinely care about you?"

James shook his head. "Why not?"

"Because I would have a solid reason to dislike or hate that person so, if they appear to be the mystery person, I would think of it as a sick joke. I would believe what I see. Maybe I would give them the benefit of doubt but I won't be able to trust them."

"You have your answer then. If you want to write to her I can't stop you. But then alter your behaviour around her too. If you continue being a prat in front of her, how will she ever trust you?"

"Thanks, Aunt Thea." James said, giving her a hug and a kiss on her cheek.

"See, I told you! She loves you more than she loves me, her only child." Percy said entering the kitchen and snatching up some strawberry cake as he sat down on his mother's other side. Percy and James could have passed off as identical twins with jet black messy hair and similar face structure but Percy had inherited his mother's bright blue eyes, instead of his father's ice gray ones while James had inherited his father's hazel eyes. Also, Percy was several inches taller than James.

"What are you complaining about?" James retorted, grinning impishly "I swear, you can commit as many crimes as you want and mum would still argue that the sun shines from your face."

"That's because I am perfect, Baby Potter!" Percy said, reaching out behind his mother's back to smack James lightly on the back of his head.

James swatted away his cousin's hand, "Don't call me baby Potter!" he complained. Althea Potter rolled her eyes as the two cousins bantered, muttering 'boys' under her breath.

 **AN: You know what to do, read and review! Happy Reading. If you have any queries, please do let me know.**


	5. Chapter 5

**AN: All characters belong to Queen Rowling.**

James watched the owl fly from the Owlery window. It wasn't morning yet, he sighed. They were holding a ball in his honour that evening and he wished Lily could be his date. He sighed again, after talking to Aunt Thea he had decided that he would not correspond with Lily again. It took him more than two days to hunt for an appropriate gift for her. It would be his last letter to her. He sighed again, before running to Sirius' room to wake him up it was Christmas after all.

James collapsed in his bed, not even changing out of his dress robes he stared at the ceiling. He had always wanted to attend the ball but it wasn't as glamorous as he had expected it to be. Sirius' dad, Orion Black had attended the ball but his wife had regretfully not been able to attend it as Sirius' younger brother was unwell. Sirius had said nothing, but the rejection had affected him. He had gulped down more firewhisky than he normally would have. Remus had taken care of Sirius and had given him a hangover potion to sober him up a little. Apart from his grandparents, James had never met his mother's family. Dorea Potter's brothers had broken all relations with her when James was a year old and Voldemort had started gaining power and Charlus had opposed his extremist ideas.

He was horrified to realize that Bellatrix and Narcissa Black were his cousins and were attending the ball. Bellatrix was attending the ball with her husband Rodolphus Lestrange and Narcissa with her fiancé Lucius Malfoy who was also a distant cousin of James. His uncles Cygnus and Orion looked cold but all of them kept their sharp words and rude behaviour in check because his grandmum Irma Black was breathing down their necks threateningly, while his grandfather Arcturus Black's face was a stoic mask though his eyes flashed dangerously. James hated the part where Sirius and he had to mingle with everyone for a while; the first hour of the ball was torturous, especially meeting Bellatrix who eyed them mockingly. They spent the rest of the evening with Frank, Percy, Alexandra (who had taken a portkey from Greece to attend the ball), Alice, Fabian, Gideon, Molly who was married to Arthur Weasley and was pregnant with his third child, Marlene, Dorcas Meadows, David and Amelia Bones, Remus and Peter.

Frankie and Percy tried to hide their glee by keeping their faces solemn to mark their sympathy as James and Sirius picked out partners for their first dance. Sirius quite obviously was dancing with Marlene while James had politely asked Amelia for the first dance; however he preferred to dance with his aunt Althea who was a bundle of energy and would laugh happily as he twirled her around. His mother and grandmother on the other hand smiled pleasantly at him, gliding gracefully to the dance floor. At the thought of his grandmother, he remembered what she had said when they were dancing, "Look around Jamie. This is your family. I know a war is brewing in the horizon, I know you like your parents would not bow down to the dark lord. I would expect nothing less from a Black and a Potter. I see the rest of my children and grandchildren, even Abraxas and his son bowing down in front of that half blood. I would know, I was in school with him. While he has the right ideas and while he might be the descendant of Slytherin himself, the children of noble families like ours, bow down to no one. Do not fight this war James. I have talked to your mother who seems intent on following her husband to the end, like a proper wife should but you must prevent them from fighting this war. I don't want to lose my precious daughter at the hands of my sons and grandchildren. Bellatrix would not think twice about family before killing your parents, or Sirius or you. I urge you to prevent that from happening."

The ball was a reminder of the war that had already started. Bellatrix had shown her dark mark to Sirius and him with great pride, urging them to join Voldemort, proceeding to threaten them with death if they refused. She told them that Avery, Mulciber, Snape even Regulus had already shown their interest in joining him. Sirius had stormed out of the ballroom at this, Remus had later found him in the music room, fingers bleeding as he continued playing the guitar. James sighed, he had just returned to his room after putting Sirius to bed. Now that he had met his other uncles and their families, James understood Sirius' anger and hatred for them.

 _TAP. TAP. TAP._

 _TAP. TAP. TAP._

James had barely dozed off when he was jerked awake by the tapping on his window. Looking at the clock on his mantelpiece, he snarled under his breath. It was hardly 5:00 in the morning and he had slept at 1:00, after putting Sirius to bed. He opened the window, grumbling as the owl flew in and dropped a letter on his bed before landing on his coffee table and hooting proudly. James stared at the bird, this was one of his mother's spare owls called Apollo and he had sent Apollo to Lily. He stared at the bird "You mean to say you have a letter for me from Lily?" he asked incredulously as Apollo hooted his response. James shut the window before crossing over to his bed and picking up the letter. A white Lily fell from the folds of the letter. James beamed as the owl hooted indignantly for being blatantly ignored. "Sorry Apollo, wait here I will get you some owl treat and water, but you deserve a bloody royal perch and rat cakes for what you did."

After feeding the bird, James eagerly opened the letter.

 _Dear Prongs,_

 _Merry Christmas! I absolutely love your gift, its precious; thank you. I am sorry I didn't think of getting you something but I will surely get you something with my next letter. You were right; your excuses were pretty lame. While Marlene doesn't trust you at all, I can't help but trust you. I would like to know you more but I don't want to know who you are. Not just yet. You were right when you said all of us have our secrets and in your last letter you laid your heart bare in front of me, I guess it's only fair that I let you in too._

 _My sister calls me a freak, has more often than not told me that I don't belong to civil society; she hates me just because I exist. It hurts, she is my sister, and we used to be best friends when we were young. But then I received a Hogwarts letter and she didn't and now she hates me for being who I am. My parents are supportive, but they don't really know what to say to me anymore. I don't belong in their world nor do I belong in this world, if we go by what Voldemort says._

 _I don't know, sometimes I feel so frustrated. It's like my feet are stuck in two different boats pulling me in different directions. There is no balance. I am an outsider at Hogwarts, a muggleborn who knew nothing about magic till her Hogwarts letter arrived and now I am an outsider in my own home because I return twice or thrice a year but I don't belong to the world that my family is used to. You worry about losing your friends to the war; I fear I won't last the war. If Voldemort and his minions don't kill me, my sister would send me to an early grave. I don't even know why I am writing to you about this. But her rejection hurts and it feels good to just let myself go and tell a stranger about the pain. I can't talk to Severus about it because he would hex Petunia for sure. Last summer he nearly risked expulsion because he wanted to curse Petunia so bad for pushing me down the stairs and breaking my ankle and arm._

 _Though, his mother took us to St. Mungos and I was fixed in a heartbeat, he was still mad enough to want to hex her grievously. My parents were amazed at how quickly broken bones can mend with the help of magic, Petunia just sneered and told me that she wished I was suffering in pain as nothing would make her happier. I don't know why she is so mean to me. I have done nothing to hurt her; I can't help being who I am. Is it a crime? Is it my fault that due to some freak natural selection process I got magic in me while she didn't? Sometimes I wish I was normal but whenever I say this out loud Alice, or Marlene, or Mary ask me what normal really is._

 _I don't know; I don't bloody know what normal is but when Petunia treats me like I am lesser than the dirt on her shoe; it hurts. Now she has that whale of a boyfriend, Vermin (Vernon) who is worse than her. My parents told him I go to a school for artistically gifted children in Scotland. And he treats me like a hippy. He thinks I have slower brain function because he talks to me like he is talking to a ten year old. And I know she would marry that loser. What is wrong with my sister? She wants to marry him because everyone in his family is normal. Is that even a legitimate criterion? Anyway, I must get going. Severus would be here any minute._

 _Thank you so much for listening (reading; whatever!)_

 _Merry Christmas once again._

 _Lily_

 _P.S.- Are you a Hufflepuff? No wait, don't answer that, I know you are a Hufflepuff._

 _P.P.S- Remember that fountain in the courtyard of the castle? The one with mermaid's trident, there's a lose brick three rows down from the top and diagonal to the brick with the founder's initials. I will leave my letters to you there; if you want you can leave your letters there too. Let's say we will give each other a week to answer a letter and then go collect it from there? I assure you that I won't trick you into revealing your identity. I have chosen to trust you without knowing your identity, will you trust me enough?_

James whooped loudly before running into the next room which belonged to Sirius. "PADFOOT! Wake up!" he yelled as he barged into the room. Sirius sat bolt upright before staring at the yellow wall in front of him groggily. James jumped on his bed. "PADDY! She replied. Lily wrote back! She wants to know me, she wants to talk to me. Look! Look!" He said shoving the letter under Sirius' nose, grinning from ear to ear. Sirius stared at James curiously before flopping back on his bed muttering, "Go to hell, Prongs. I was having a good dream. Now go away, I will read the letter when there is light outside this window."

"But Sirius! She wrote back! Merlin's pants! She wrote back" James said dreamily before settling in Sirius' bed to read the letter again. Sirius yawned, "Yes, Yes. She wrote back, she is just dying to pull you in a broom closet and shag you sen- ow!" Sirius complained as James kicked his shin.

"Stop being an arse, Paddy. Now get up and read the letter and then we can go down to wake Moony up. I wish Wormy was here too." Sirius groaned and looked pleadingly at James who shoved the letter in front of Sirius' eyes. "Bloody hell! You owe me a bloody flying motorbike for waking me up at this ungodly hour." Sirius snarled under his breath before snatching the letter from James and reading through it. Frowning slightly as he returned the letter back to James. "Prongs have you read the letter properly?"

"Yeah!" James replied happily

"Did you pay attention to what she has written or were you floating away with happiness?"

"Err…"

"Before you wake Remus, read the letter and pay attention."

James read the letter again, his frown deepening with every line.

"Bloody Hell!" he swore as he finished the letter

"Exactly. I don't think Moony should read the letter. I shouldn't have read it either. Merlin! I won't be able to look at Evans the same way again."

"No wonder she never talks about home. Her sister is evil. And I thought only we got dealt a cruel hand with Bellatrix for a cousin."

Sirius snorted, "You haven't met my mother yet. Bellatrix takes after her."

"What the Hell is wrong with the universe?"

Sirius laughed humourlessly. "She is good at hiding it though."

"Who?"

"Eva- Lily. She is good at hiding the pain of her sister's rejection. I mean her sister broke her arm and ankle last year and she still cares for her sister. This is insane! You should stop caring about someone who clearly doesn't care about you."

"I don't know Pads. Have you stopped caring about your parents?"

"My father was never mean to me. But we have always had a formal relationship, I don't even know if he cares about us and my mother- she stopped caring about me since I was 7. I am losing whatever I feel for her, now that I have aunt Dorie."

"And Regulus?"

"He was not that bad when we were children. Even after we started Hogwarts we were fine, but then he just stopped talking to me the summer after his first year. Apparently, my mother, Bellatrix and Narcissa had told him that I was going to follow Andromeda's footsteps and end up dead at the hands of the Death Eaters and he shouldn't associate with me. Now the fool wants to join Voldemort." Sirius shook his head before sliding down.

"Hey James?"

"Yeah?"

"Do you think he would do it? Join Voldemort I mean. He has to be stupid to do so."

"I don't know Pads. If Bellatrix threatened him the way she threatened us coupled with your mother's orders, he might just fold under pressure."

"But he is not a cruel, cold blooded murderer! Doesn't he know what joining him means?"

"He is only 14, Pads. I bet he thinks the Death Eaters are sort of a club, you can put your name in and get the mark but you can also lay back and act as a neutral member. I don't think he understands what joining Voldemort really means. He might just do it because that is what people from good pureblood families do."

"Should I talk to him about it?"

"Maybe you should give it a try, at least let him know what it really means. I am glad that mum and dad tell us everything. But just listening to their stories about finding dead bodies; gives me nightmares, I don't know how I will handle looking into the empty eyes of a tortured body."

Sirius nodded "I will talk to him at Hogwarts then. He has to realize that the war is no child's play, he would have to kill or get killed and that joining Voldemort means slavery for your entire life. If he joins them we would be on opposing sides, I don't want to attack my baby brother, I have always protected him. When we were young, I would take credit for his pranks so that mother punishes me. How will I curse him in a battle?" Sirius covered his face as James slid down next to Sirius laying a hand on his arm.

"Hey, he hasn't joined Voldemort yet. Maybe he won't ever. Maybe he doesn't plan to. Maybe he said he is interested in joining him to get rid of bitchatrix." Sirius snorted and James grinned. "You know, maybe he would see clearly once you talk to him and if worse comes to worst, we will make sure that you don't have to raise your wand against him. Okay?"

"But what if he dies, James?" He asked, his face a tortured mask "What if he is murdered by that lunatic himself? What if he joins them and realizes he made a mistake and wants out? The only way out is death."

"If he joins them to regret it, he can come to us. We will protect him. The order has a lot of safe houses and the Manor is safer than Hogwarts. The blood wards are strong and the only people allowed into the Manor are the people the Lord of the Manor allows. Voldemort and his minions will never be able to attack this place because no one knows where the Manor is or how to enter it. Unless one of us decides to be a traitor and lead Voldemort here with him or her, this place is untouchable."

"But the Blacks have already entered the premises, Bellatrix, Lucius, Narcissa, father, Uncle Cygnus- all of them were here tonight. Not to mention, you have Black blood in you. They can easily bypass the blood wards."

James laughed, "No, they can't. I asked dad once after I heard him talk about how the Death Eaters were breaking into people's homes to kill them. He told me the blood wards at the Potter Manor only recognize the blood of a Potter as valid, so it has to be Percy, Frank or me; legally just Percy and me. The people who attend the ball are sent invites which act as Portkeys, bringing them here and transferring them back and then the invites burn themselves. The people welcome to the Manor at all times, have to think of the Manor and they appear in front of the Gates. They can enter only when Lord Potter welcomes them in, there are very few people who are allowed directly to the Manor, but that is through floo and the floo is directly connected to Gringotts, Longbottom Heights, Hogwarts and the Ministry. Remus, Peter and You are always welcome to the Manor, the gates would open automatically for one of you and are some of the few people who could bring Voldemort in with him through side along apparition, since the wards won't stop you from bringing someone in at times of need. I don't believe that one of you would bring Voldemort here."

"Wow! Your folks were really paranoid about safety. I thought father was bad."

James laughed, "Well, the wards were placed during the time when witches and wizards were being hunted and burnt on stakes. A lot of witches and wizards saved themselves by giving up the whereabouts of other wizarding families. There is a reason why all pureblood families live in secret locations and trust no one with their whereabouts. Black Manor has similar wards."

Sirius shrugged, "I wouldn't know. Grandfather and Grandmother live there. We used to visit the Manor for the spring ball and the occasional dinner but we never talked to each other. I think grandfather only communicates with his looks."

James shrugged. "I don't know. He tried talking to me. They had come here to visit mum, when she had returned from a mission all battered and bruised. I was five and I was crying because mum won't wake up. Grandfather looked disgusted with me; he would have done something nasty, had granddad not stepped in and asked one of the elves to get me some ice cream to comfort me. After that day, no matter when we met, grandfather would try to be nicer to me. Mum says he was just trying to prove to himself that he was a better grandparent than my granddad."

Sirius snorted, "Sounds like him. According to him the Blacks are better than everyone at everything."

James laughed, "Granddad was beyond awesome. I know you have met his portrait. But when he was alive, he was something else. He egged us on to prank our parents. He said a Potter must get in trouble every once in a while. It's good for our reputation. Mum, Aunt Thea and Aunt Augusta would go mental, trying to discipline us. Then the three of them threatened to prank him for a month straight, so, he stopped egging us on publicly."

Sirius grinned, "You have a crazy family; do you know that? I love them. I wish we really were family."

James grinned, "We are related by blood. Had we not been related by blood, you would still have been family. Mum always says love is thicker than blood. You will always be my brother."

Sirius nodded, the conversation giving way to silence as both boys were lost in their musings.

"Hey Pads?"

"Hmmmm?"

"Do you think it is too early to wake Perce, Frankie and Moony with cold water and then maybe rush down for some breakfast and start opening the presents we received last night?"

Sirius looked at his watch, it was a little after 6. "Well Prongsie, a Marauder is never too early, nor too late in pranking someone." James grinned, his eyes mirroring Sirius' mischievous expression before the two boys jumped out of bed and raced down the corridor to Percy's room.


	6. Chapter 6

**AN: The story is mine but the characters belong to the queen.**

Lily Evans skipped to the Great Hall, plonking down excitedly next to Marlene and across from Mary. "Good Morning!" Lily chirped as she pulled a plate of strawberry scones to herself.

"Why are you so cheerful this morning?" Marlene groaned. "I have so much of pending work; I didn't want to wake up this morning. 3 feet essay for Charms, 2 rolls of parchment for Care of Magical Creatures, an analysis on the draught of living death for Slughorn and I still have to practice turning my porcupine in to a pincushion and we have Quidditch practice. It's the first weekend back."

"Don't remind me of pending work; add those 100 questions for Arithmancy to my work." Alice groaned pushing her goblet of pumpkin juice in disgust. Mary grimaced.

"Well, you should go to library as soon as you finish breakfast." Lily suggested taking a bite of her scone.

Mary snorted, "It's as if you don't have any work at all." Lily shrugged, smiling sweetly at her friends.

Mary's spoon fell with a _plonk_ in her bowl, Alice stared at her dumbfounded while Marlene choked on her tea and started coughing wildly. Lily thumped Marlene. "You-you don't have any work?" Alice spluttered; eyes wide as saucers.

Lily shrugged, "I finished it all during the week, as soon as we got it."

"But how? When did you get the time?" Mary wailed.

"Well, mostly after classes and an hour or two after dinner."

"What were we doing this entire week?" Marlene asked indignantly.

"You guys were busy relaxing after a long day of classes. You were too busy playing exploding snap or chess or reading for entertainment." Lily replied grinning evilly at them.

"You are evil, Lils." Alice groaned, "Why didn't you push us to work?"

"I did but the rest of you asked me to not kill your buzz." Lily said shrugging.

"Lils!" Mary exclaimed exasperatedly. "If we ask you to leave us alone, you can bloody well put us under the imperius to make us work."

"Okay. Next week onwards I will make you work but don't forget you gave me the rights to hex you."

All three of them nodded enthusiastically before returning to their breakfast. Lily shook her head, grinning affectionately at the three of them. A tap on her shoulder made her turn, Remus looked down at her nervously while Potter stood next to him, ready to jump in between Remus and unforgivable. "Hey Lily. Alice. Marlene. Mary!" Remus said nervously nodding at each one. Lily smiled and nodded in response as the others responded with greetings.

"Go. I will be fine. I got this." Remus told Potter who looked dubious. Black strolled up casually from behind and steered Potter away. "Sorry about that." Remus said turning back to Lily. "If you are not busy, would you like to go for a walk?" Before Lily could respond, Marlene elbowed Lily roughly, as Alice almost threw out her pumpkin juice coughing wildly and Mary thumped her back muttering 'about time' under her breath. "WHAT?" Lily asked Marlene, as she massaged her side. Marlene shrugged shaking her head, smirking like she knew something significant but won't tell Lily. Lily huffed before realising that Remus was waiting for her response. "Umm… Yeah sure. Let me just grab some scones." Lily said as she packed some scones in a napkin and picked up her bag before linking Remus' arms with her and walking out of the great hall.

They walked in silence for w while before reaching a window. Remus politely pulled his hand free and stood by the window, looking out at the grounds one knee resting on the window's ledge. Lily followed Remus and settled down on the ledge, her back resting on the wall. Remus looked at her and smiled gently before running his hand through his hair nervously. He cleared his throat nervously.

"There is something- um… something that I- I- n-n-n-need to talk to you about." Lily looked at him sceptically before her eyes widened, Oh God! No! No, no, no, no, no, no, NO! Shit! When did she lead Remus on? She loved him like a brother. Oh God! He was such a nice person, why must she be the cold blooded monster to break his heart?

"Lily? Lily?" Remus asked waving his hand in front of her. "Are you okay? You look peaky. Maybe we should talk about this later."

Yeah, that would be a great idea. But then Lily remembered what her mother used to say. Rip it as fast as you can. It hurts less. There was no point in delaying this conversation.

"I am fine, Remus." She said sighing. "But before you say anything, I need you to know that I see you as the brother I never had. Whatever love I have for you is one hundred percent platonic and it has got nothing to do with how you are as a person. I just relate to you as I would relate to a sibling."

"Umm… Okay?" Remus replied looking confused. "Thanks. I have always seen you like the sister I always wanted too. Now that we have cleared that up, I really need to talk to you about something."

"Wait! So, this is not what you wanted to talk to me about?"

"Why would I tell you that you are like a sister to me? I thought you already knew that."

"So, you don't fancy me?"

"WHAT?! Why would you think that I fancy you?"

"Umm… Were you not there when you asked me to go for a walk with you? Didn't you see Mary, Alice and Marlene's reaction? Also, this whole nervousness about wanting to talk about something. What was I supposed to think?"

"Oh! That was what it was all about?" Remus started laughing. "No Lily, I don't fancy you. I wouldn't fancy anyone if I can help it." He chortled.

"Why not?"

That sobered Remus up. "Because… Because. This is what I wanted to talk to you about." He said running an agitated hand through his hair. "I am a- I am a- a-"

"Werewolf?" Lily supplied with a smirk as she crossed her arms across her chest.

Remus' eyes grew wide, he stared at her. "How do you know?" He choked, before his eyes burned with fire. "Who told you?" He hissed. "Snivellus swore he would _never_ reveal this to another soul. And yet, he would go and tell _you._ "

Remus' eyes dimmed suddenly, "Well now that you know, I won't blame you for believing that I am a vicious bloodthirsty monster. Not after what happened with Severus last full moon. Had James not reached in time to pull him out, I would have been a murderer or Snape would have met a fate worse than death." He stopped looking away bitterly, "It was really nice knowing you, Lily." Remus said before turning and striding away. Lily sat in shock. Severus _knew?_ That would explain his anger on Christmas, Lily thought as she played with her bracelet. Something bad had happened before the end of term. How did Severus come across Remus on a full moon and why would Potter save him? Why would Remus believe that she saw him as a bloodthirsty monster? What he became on a full moon was out of his control. Lily watched Remus' retreating back, before jumping into action.

"Remus! Wait!" She called running after him. He did not stop but he did slow down. Lily caught up with him as he turned a corner and yanked his sleeve back to make him stay. He looked away from her, his face a bitter mask. "I don't think you are a bloodthirsty monster." She wheezed trying to catch her breath. He laughed humourlessly, "Then you should. Didn't Severus describe my wild bloodlust to you?" He hissed angrily.

"Severus did not say a word to me. I had no clue about the last full moon till you mentioned it." Lily snapped.

"Then how do you know?" Remus seethed.

"Because I have brains! Because I know how to look up the lunar chart! Severus has had his suspicions for a while. I checked the charts last term, when you skipped on patrols with me. Severus is not that bad you know!" Lily yelled.

Remus deflated. "You- you- you figured it out on your own?" Lily huffed, nodding her head in confirmation as she crossed her arms in irritation. Remus grabbed her arms and turned her to face him. "Who did you tell? Who else knows?" Remus asked urgently, almost madly.

"No one." Lily hissed angrily, "Damn it, Remus! Do you think I have no honour? This was not my secret to share, if you wanted to keep it quiet, I figured I would rather not discuss it with anyone." Lily said wrenching herself out of his grip. He sagged, hitting his back against the wall, covering his face with his hands. Lily glared at him before turning on her heel and walking away. Damn Remus! Who did he think he was? He had never behaved this rudely with her. What is wrong with him? Lily broke into a run, not really wishing to pay heed to Remus' voice or stopping long enough to hear him out. She wanted to stay mad at him, he can't treat her with such disrespect and he needed to have more faith in her.

Lily stood under her favourite tree, glowering at the frozen lake. She wasn't angry with Remus anymore, she was angry with the world. Were werewolves really treated so horridly that Remus immediately assumed the worst from her? Lily knew Remus kept people at an arm's length, was it to protect himself from rejection? His rude behaviour did look like a defensive mechanism created to protect him from the hurt. Poor Remus, Lily knew she should go talk to him but she felt ashamed with herself. She was better than that, she should have seen through the act and responded accordingly. Stupid! Stupid! Stupid!

"You know the ice won't crack if you keep glowering at it." A voice said behind her, making her jump. Sirius Black leaned casually against the tree, arms crossed across his muscled chest, looking like Adonis himself.

"What do you want, Black?" Lily asked tersely, going back to staring at the lake. He loped gracefully towards her, hands shoved deep in pockets, stopping next to her.

"Please, Evans. Don't flatter yourself. You might be pretty but you are not my type. I like brunettes."

"Oh! That breaks my heart. I have no reason to live. Sirius Black is not attracted to redheads! Curse my stars." Lily said expressionlessly, "Was that enough for you or should I lament my fate some more to massage your large ego?"

Black grinned at her, his eyes alight with mischief. "I see why he is so taken with you." He said laughing at a private joke, "You are a handful, aren't you Evans?"

Lily huffed, crossing her arms. "Let me ask again, Black. Why have you graced me with your lustrous presence?" She said, unable to keep the sarcasm out.

Black laughed a bark like laughter. "Remus! I wanted to talk to you about him. I presume he told you about his- ah 'furry little problem'?"

"He didn't have to tell me, I already knew."

"So, he was right! You are pretty smart." Lily turned to give him a piece of her mind on his idiocy.

"I am not here to fight." Black said, cutting off her tirade. "Are you still mad at Remus?"

Lily shook her head, looking morose.

"Then why haven't you talked to him?"

Lily mumbled something under her breath.

"Look, Eva- Lily. I know he shouldn't have been this rude to you. You were trying to reach out to him and he kept rebuffing you. I get that. You weren't there when we discovered it and confronted him with it. He didn't talk to us for a week, kept trying to rile us up. It was only when James told him that we do not hold his problem against him, did he calm down. All his life, he has been isolated, kept away from the world because our world hates what he becomes 12 nights a year. He doesn't have it easy." Black said bluntly. "He is not some _bloodthirsty monster_. He is a victim. I don't know why people don't see that." Black seethed.

Lily stared at Black. Since when was Sirius Black a sensitive and sensible guy? Lily had known the immature berks all her life and yet she had not seen this side of Black. Black looked at her before sighing. "Can you please go talk to him? He is miserable; he thinks he burned all his bridges with you by being so rude. And he really does care about you." He said looking at her imploringly. "That's two of them pining for her. I wonder who would be next, Peter or me?" He muttered under his breath.

Lily shook her head. "I can't." She said in a small voice.

"Why not?"

"Because I was so insensitive with him!" She cried out throwing her hands in the air. "I mean of course, he would try to push people away. He is hurt and scared and what did I do? I got mad at him and then ran away from him when he tried to talk to me. How will I face him? You didn't abandon him like that. How would you know?"

Black's face hardened into an expressionless mask. "I have done worse." He said evenly, "And Remus forgave me in a heartbeat. It's not in his nature to hold a grudge. Come on, I will take you to him. You can sort it out then." He said as he grabbed her arm and dragged her to the courtyard. Remus was sitting on a bench; eating chocolate from a large bar of Honeyduke's best chocolate. Potter was sitting next to him. "It will be fine. She told you she doesn't see you as a monster. She will come around. You just have to go talk to her. Don't worry." Potter said. Black cleared his throat as they approached.

"Lily!" Remus cried jumping to his feet and pulling her in a bone crushing hug. "I am so sorry. I shouldn't have been this rude to you. You were trying to be a friend and I threw it out of the window. Forgive me please."

"I am sorry too Remus. I should have been a little more patient with you." She said; her voice muffled by his chest. "Forgive me please?" She asked as they broke apart.

Remus beamed at her in response. Potter thumped Remus on the back, grinning like a madman. "See," he crowed. "I told you. You owe me a chocolate bar, Mister." Remus stuck his tongue out at Potter as Black laughed.

"Come on, Sirius. We should get going, we have practice after lunch and I need some warm up before that." Potter said smiling gratefully at Lily he turned and started walking away. To Lily's surprise, Black pulled Lily in a one arm hug and mussed her hair affectionately before walking away with Potter.

"Maybe they are not so bad." Lily whispered to herself.

"I told you." Remus said grinning at her.

"How did you- Oh!" Her eyes widened as Remus tapped his ears and then made wolf ears with his hands.

"Do you want to talk about it?"

Remus shrugged. "I was bitten when I was four…"

 **AN: Aaaaaaand that's another chapter. I am trying to incorporate more of their interactions with the letters. Please do tell me how do you find it. Read and Review please. Happy Reading. :D**


	7. Chapter 7

**AN: All characters belong to J.K. Rowling.**

Lily walked back to her dorm, smiling despite being tired. The Marauder's had unleashed their own brand of fireworks in the castle today. The fireworks were little fireflies that would explode on touching an individual, taking the shape of something that defines that individual. Lily's firework took the shape of a beautiful golden doe which followed her around all day, fizzing and cracking. The corridors were full of students walking around with their inner sparkling selves in tow. It was a surprise for students to see Professor McGonagall smile proudly at her silver cat that kept nuzzling its head on her legs, not burning her robes in the process.

By dinner Professor Dumbledore announced that he would like to congratulate the Marauders for this brilliant bit of magic and requested an owl from them, containing instructions for casting the spell as his red and gold phoenix floated over him, shimmering majestically. Lily felt proud, Prongs had not written to her since Christmas but it felt like she had known him as a dear friend all her life. Whoever these Marauders were, they were brilliant wizards. The doe followed Lily to her bed, nuzzling its head against Lily's shoulder before vanishing off with a soft pop. Lily sighed, missing the doe. Her thoughts went back to the different animals she had observed today. Potter and Black had blasted off their fireflies refusing to let anyone see who they really were. Remus was beyond livid that his inner animal was a wolf. Alice was an eagle, Marlene was a golden retriever and Mary was a peacock. Severus was a huge emerald cobra, which slithered threateningly behind him, but somehow he looked pleased with his inner animal.

Lily flopped on her bed, looking at the clock she had some time before going for patrol. She might get some rest before that. There was a strange tapping on her window; Lily looked around curiously to find Athena, tapping at the window.

"Hey, I wasn't hoping to see you back this soon. Have you got a letter for me?" Lily asked softly as Athena fluttered in and landed on her desk, sticking her leg out. Lily fished some owl treat from her bag before taking the letter from Athena, who nipped Lily's finger affectionately and flew off. Lily looked down at the two letters, she recognised her mother's handwriting and with a jolt realised that the other was Petunia's handwriting.

 _Dear Lily,_

 _Your father and I have some great news for you. Petunia is engaged! She is getting married to Vernon! I am so excited! Oh! You girls are growing up so fast. I have talked to Petunia; you will be the maid of honour. You have to be. That's what sisters do for each other._

 _I know Petunia and you don't get along very well. But this is your sister's big day. And you have to be a part of the celebrations. I have asked Petunia to write you a letter too. I think this wedding would bring the two of you together. I know it will. Don't worry about your dress or anything else. We will shop for it before hand. Luckily she decided on having a spring wedding. You will be home for your Easter holidays. I know the wedding is taking place in a very short time but Vernon and Petunia don't want to wait. Can you believe it, Petunia is pregnant! I will be a grandmother soon and you will be an aunt! I am so excited, Lily!_

 _I have to go now; we have to meet the caterer and the florist today. See you soon._

 _Much love_

 _Mum._

 _P.S.- Don't worry if we don't write to you as often as we do, we might be caught up with the wedding preparations. Love you._

Lily frowned, why would Petunia agree to make her the maid of honour when Petunia hated her with a passion? Lily was sure their mum forced her to make that decision. And she was pregnant with Vermin's child? Lily grimaced, trying to take the image of Vermin and Petunia having sex out of her mind. What was wrong with Petunia Evans? Lily picked up Petunia's letter smiling slightly; she was going to be an aunt. The father of the child was a disappointment but the child would be half Evans and she had always dreamed about being the cool aunt to Petunia's children. Maybe children would be able to help mend her relationship with her sister, she thought as she opened the letter.

 _Freak,_

 _Mum asked me to write a letter and ask you to become my maid of honour. You know what; I am not going to do it. You ruin everything. I most definitely do not want you to attend my wedding let alone ask you to be my maid of honour. Forget it, I am not doing it._

 _I am writing this to you to ask you to not come to the wedding at all. I don't want you there; freaks like you shouldn't be anywhere near a gathering of civilised people. You would only embarrass me. Now write a letter to mum and tell her that you are not coming. Tell her you have some work at your freak school, you have to go fight a dragon and would probably die in the process (I know it won't happen but one could dream, right?) Do what you have to do but you are not going to ruin my wedding. I won't allow it. Do you know why we are hurrying with this wedding, because I am pregnant and I don't want my child to know that he/she is related to someone like you._

 _I want to start a happy life away from you. So, if you ever loved me as a sister, grant me this. Don't show your face in my wedding. I don't want your shadow to fall on my baby. You will curse it, you will curse my happiness. I don't want something bad to happen to my baby. Stay away from us._

 _I won't even bother signing it._

Lily crumpled the letter angrily, trying to force down her tears. The clock chimed, pocketing the letter Lily stormed out of her dormitory just as Marlene and Alice entered chattering happily about some inconsequential thing. She didn't even acknowledge them as she ran down the stairs and collided with Potter, losing her balance and almost falling down before Potter steadied her.

"Easy there Evans." He said before noticing the unshed tears in Lily's eyes. "Hey, are you alright?" Lily nodded mutely. "So, are you ready to go for the patrol?" Lily looked at him curiously. Potter blushed, rubbing the back of his neck. "It's a full moon night. Remus tried looking for replacements but couldn't find one. So, he took permission from Professor McGonagall to let me accompany you. I swear I won't do anything funny, that's why he didn't ask Sirius for the patrol."

"Hey! I resent that! I am a perfectly responsible person." Black said, joining Potter near the' stairs to the girls' dormitories. "So responsible that _you_ are leaving me to take care of Peter over there." He said jerking his head towards Pettigrew who was sitting on an armchair, reading his charms textbook. James grinned before looking at Lily again. His brows furrowed, she looked depressed, her lower lip was quivering and it looked like she was preventing herself from crying. He looked up at Sirius who was watching Lily too, their eyes met and Sirius nodded his head towards the portrait hole. Potter cleared his throat. "So, Evans are you ready to go?"

Lily shrugged clambering out of the portrait hole with Potter at her heels. They walked silently for the hour as they were returning to the tower; Potter tugged at her arm and asked her to follow him. Lily was about to protest but he had already pulled her into a secret passage. Curiosity took the better of Lily and she followed Potter down the passage and gasped audibly when it opened near the portrait of the fruit bowl near the Hufflepuff common room. Potter directed her towards the portrait and tickled the banana, Lily was amazed when the banana giggled and turned into a handle. Potter wrenched the door open, before standing back and letting Lily enter. It was a dark room lit by a few candles. Lily saw the most curious little creatures with tiny bodies, large eyes, long fingers and huge bat like ears wearing clean white tea cosies with the Hogwarts crest.

"What can we get you miss?" One squeaked in a high pitched voice, as the others arrived with plates laden with biscuits, cakes, fruits, chocolates and other food. "Mister Potter! You is back again? Where is Mr. Black and Mr. Lupin and Mr. Pettigrew? You must tell them I have made their favourite desserts and they must visit again." The same creature squeaked again.

"Hello Jinxie. Sirius, Remus and Peter would be visiting you soon and how many times do we have to tell you, that you must call us by our names." Potter said, hugging the little creature, who squealed her delight as James laughed and put her down. Potter smirked at Lily as he came to stand beside her.

"Are these…." Lily stopped biting her lip doubtfully. "Are these house elves?"

Potter nodded. "Yes." Lily nodded, following Potter to the nearest table as the house eves bustled around busily. "Don't they ever sleep?" Lily asked, "What are all of them doing up this late at night?"

"They work in shifts and in rotation so that all of them get to do the night and day jobs. The night shift entails cleaning the castle, preparing for breakfast- there are hundreds of elves at Hogwarts. What you are seeing is less than one third of them." He replied helping himself to a treacle tart. Lily looked around amazed at the sight. A tiny house elf, much smaller than the rest of them tottered towards her, holding a plate of chocolate cake, and almost fell over but Lily caught the plate. He looked around fearfully; when no one reprimanded him he breathed a sigh of relief and smiled at Lily in gratitude.

"You know I brought you here to get you some chocolate milk. My mum says it cures all ailments of the heart. Would you like to try some? They have put in extra marshmallows too." Potter said diverting her attention from the little house elf. Lily smiled gratefully before accepting the cup. They sat in silence, finishing off their hot chocolate. As they walked back to the tower, Lily had to admit, James Potter probably wasn't as bad as she thought.

"Well, Patrolling with you wasn't so bad." Lily admitted as they neared the portrait hole.

"I am glad to hear it." Potter said with a smile.

"You do know that going down to the kitchens for hot chocolate doesn't count as a date?"

Potter laughed. "Evans, please. I know you think I am lame but I am not lame enough to take someone to the kitchens for the first date. Anyway, have I asked you out at all since the start of the term?"

They stopped in front of the portrait hole. Lily realised with a shock that he was right. He had not asked her out for three weeks now! She looked at him curiously. He blushed, his hand flying up to crumpling his hair.

"I just figured you don't want to go out with me, so I won't push you. There are other fishes in the sea, right?"

Lily nodded stiffly, but something inside her roared like a wounded beast. She gave the password and clambered in the portrait hole hastily, the portrait hole shut behind her. Lily turned curiously, why had Potter not followed her in? She peeked out of the portrait hole again but Potter was nowhere. Lily shrugged before walking back to the common room, she shoved her hand inside the pocket of her robes and found the crumpled letter from Petunia. Her good mood evaporated, as did her sleep. She sat down on a couch, reading the letter again and finally giving in to the tears she had been holding back.

Lily felt like the earth itself was moving, shaking her entire body. Was the castle under attack, she jerked up before opening her eyes, hitting her head on something hard. "Ow! Lily!" Black protested. She opened her eyes at his protest and realised she was on the couch in the common room. She looked around wildly to see Black kneeling on the floor, holding his nose. "Black! What are you doing?" She hissed.

"I was only trying to wake you up. It looks like you slept on the couch."

"What time is it?" Lily asked stretching herself.

"It's 4:00 in the morning. By the way, I accept your apology for hurting my nose."

Lily smirked. "You shouldn't have startled me like that. But what are you doing up so late?"

"Nothing. Couldn't sleep so I thought I would come down here, that's when I saw you sleeping here."

Lily looked closely at Black, his clothes looked dirty and torn, there was a cut visible through the torn sleeve of his shirt, it looked like he had just battled with the whomping willow and survived. She narrowed her eyes.

"Don't lie to me. You don't look like you were in bed at all. Where were you and where is Potter?"

"Okay, fine. James and I had a bet to settle, so we settled it like men do. He is in our dorms now, sleeping. And before you lecture me on that, take this back." He shoved Petunia's letter in Lily's hand.

Her eyes widened. "Where did you find this?"

"On the floor, next to the couch. You might want to be a little more careful about where you leave your personal belongings."

Lily nodded before getting up, "Thank you. I guess I will see you around." She said awkwardly before turning around to leave. Black's hand shot up and caught her wrist, pulling her down on the couch again as he pulled himself up to sit beside her.

"If you want to talk about it. I am here." He said seriously.

"You- you read it?" Lily asked horrified.

He shrugged. "Not all of it. I just wanted to check the name of the person it was addressed to, so that I could return it. But it started with _freak_ and there was no signature in the end. I took a wild guess in returning it to you. But now that I know… You can come talk to me. I know exactly what it feels like when your family is horrible to you."

"Don't say the things you don't mean, Black." Lily said sharply, "You don't look like someone whose family would mistreat you."

Black's expression became darker, he laughed humourlessly. "I am a Gryffindor, flower. A Gryffindor in a household of Slytherins." He looked at her, his grey eyes intense. "How do you think they would treat me? I am an outcast. Always was. My family hates me for being who I am." He said flatly.

Lily stared at him; Black's face betrayed no emotion. For a moment she thought he was pranking her but then he looked at her and Lily saw the pain in his eyes. They kept on staring at each other. Lily wanted to say something to him, maybe hug him, cry with him, share his pain but she sat rooted to her spot.

"Sirius?" Black broke contact, looking towards the direction of the voice. James Potter walked down the steps from boys dormitory and walked towards Black, who was staring at the fire. "Sirius?" Potter called again, touching his shoulder softly. When Black didn't reply Potter looked quizzically at Lily who shrugged. Potter looked at Black again; they exchanged a look before Black got up and stalked off to his dormitory. Potter sighed, rubbing his forehead tiredly. "I guess I should get going too. Good night Evans." He said, making to follow Black up the stairs.

"Wait." Lily called. He turned facing Lily tiredly. "Where were you? Why were you out of bounds so late? That too on the grounds! What if- What if- What if Remus had found you and done something to you?" She hissed angrily.

Potter looked taken aback before he smirked, "Well, looks like someone finally realized that she is in love with a certain dark haired Quidditch star with hazel eyes."

"Shut it Potter. I can't believe I thought you had finally grown up. It's dangerous and I didn't want Remus to live his life feeling guilty about mauling his friends."

Potter smiled cheekily, "Well, if you insist. I should get going- need to sleep. Got girls to hunt, things to do. See around Evans."

Lily huffed, what was it about Potter that always, _always_ got under her skin. Shaking her head she went off to her dormitory but couldn't sleep. She threw her blanket off and pulled a scrap of parchment to herself.

 **AN: It has been so long! I hope no one lost faith. I just moved to a new city, new job, long working hours. I don't even get the weekends free. But enough of my complaining. I hope you enjoy this chapter. Read and Review please. Happy reading.  
Spoiler alert: This kind of, sort of is part of the reason why Lily couldn't forgive Severus when he did hurt her. I have said a lot. Read and Review. :D**


	8. Chapter 8

**AN: The characters belong to J.K. Rowling**

Lily read the letter again before putting the letter under the loose brick on the fountain, praying to God that Prongs receives that letter. James Potter watched Lily Evans place the letter, pulling his invisibility cloak on he quickly crossed the courtyard and reached the fountain.

 _Dear Prongs,_

 _I know you wanted to end all communication. I know you probably won't reply to this letter, maybe you won't even check under the brick for this letter but I would still give it a shot. Petunia is getting married to that whale. Mum wrote to me telling me that I had to attend the wedding and be the maid of honour. Petunia wrote to me and asked me to stay away from her wedding because I ruin things._

 _I think I would have not gone to the wedding under different circumstances but Petunia is pregnant. I am going to be an aunt! You know how exciting it is. You have your brothers too. But she doesn't want me near her child. I don't know why her hatred hurts so much more now._

 _Somehow, I always believed that our children would be able to bridge the gap between us. It looks like I was wrong after all. Why won't she let me love her child? Why won't she let me dote on her child? I have only heard about her pregnancy and I am planning all those delightful little gifts I would charm for the child or wizarding sweets I would get him/her. His/her little finger wrapping around an enchanted crystal, giggling at the figures zooming inside. His/her expression as he/she pops Bertie Bott's Every Flavoured Beans. Being the cool, awesome Aunt Lily. Aunt Lily. Look even that sounds so intimate and full of love._

 _She asked me not go to her wedding. How will I do that, Prongs? What should I tell my parents? She is getting married during the Easter Break. I can't just stay here for no apparent reason. I don't know what to do. I want to be there for her child, make amends before the child is born but she wouldn't let me._

 _I hope you do answer this time. I know how the girls will react, Marlene would want to attend the wedding with me and punch her nose. Alice would offer me her home for the holidays. Mary well she would come up with a good excuse for me to stay back. But all three of them will have harsh words for Petunia. Severus would only sneer, be baffled that she managed to get pregnant with Vermin's child; tell me I am better off without her and then proceed to the next question for his essay. Somehow, none of them understands this conflict of interests._

 _Strangely, someone else does. He offered me a helping hand but I think I have lost my chance with him. I think I upset him greatly. Should I try and talk to him again? I am sorry I am burdening you with all my problems. You probably don't really want to know about all of this._

 _Waiting for your letter,_

 _Lily_

 _P.S.- You are right. Writing about it does help a bit. Bye._

James read the letter again, his insides burned. How he wished he could just go and hide Lily and protect her from all this pain. He wished he could kiss her tears away, be there for her and yet he couldn't, not as James Potter at least.

"Hey James, Peter thinks he found a new passage out of Hogwarts, we are planning on checking it out tonight. You in?" Sirius asked as he fell back on his bed. James didn't reply, his mind was still with Lily and how upset she looked the other night. The night when Sirius had a talk with Regulus and had come back in a foul mood, James had seen him talk to Lily in the common room but Sirius never said what they talked about. James read the last part of the letter again before looking at Sirius who had half risen from his bed, eyeing him curiously.

"You knew?" He said.

Sirius' brows furrowed. "I know a lot of things but what are you talking about?"

"About Lily. You knew about her sister's wedding. That's what you were talking about the other night, weren't you?"

"Yes, I knew. But I didn't think it would be right of me to tell you about it. You are my best mate Prongs. But I accidentally read the letter her sister sent and it didn't feel right to talk about it with anyone other than Evans herself." Sirius said, climbing out of his bed and sitting across from James in James' bed. "How did you know by the way?"

James mutely showed him the letter. Sirius didn't take it from James; he just looked at the letter and nodded. The two sat in comfortable silence. "She talks about you in this letter." James said after a long pause.

"Who?" Sirius asked distractedly as he tried to loosen the knot he had made on his shoelaces.

"Lily. She thinks it's strange that you understand her situation. She says you offered her some help." James said, carefully looking at Sirius who nodded thoughtfully. "But she fears that you might not want to talk to her again."

"What?" Sirius yelped. "Why won't I talk to her again? She needs someone who understands what she is going through. No offence James. I know you meant well but you never really understood what it is like. But then I have Aunt Dorie and Andromeda and they know exactly what it feels like and talking to them about it helps a lot."

James nodded in understanding as he watched Sirius thoughtfully. "You should go talk to her. Tell her you are there for her."

"I can't do that. I haven't talked to her since that night." Sirius said looking at James as if he had gone crazy.

"Why not? You said you don't hate her or anything." James asked frustrated, didn't the stupid mutt understand? It was James' way of ensuring that someone was there for Lily apart from a pen friend.

"And what will I tell her? Don't you think it would be a little weird that she sends Prongs the letter today and suddenly I want to talk to her again. She is not stupid Prongs. She will put two and two together."

James let his head hit the headboard. He hadn't thought about that. "But she needs someone. I can't be there for her. I can only write stupid letters to her as Prongs."

"Are you still continuing with the letter idea?" Remus asked as he entered the room followed by Peter.

"Evans wrote a letter to Prongs. Apparently she is upset about something." Sirius said before James could reply.

Remus sat up straighter in his chair, something that the two dark haired marauders did not miss. "You know, don't you?" James asked quietly.

Remus looked at them before nodding, "I also know about your late night chat with her."He said looking at Sirius. "She thinks she has lost her chance to talk to you. According to her you just left abruptly, she thinks she ended up offending you."

James smacked Sirius on the back of his head. "Hey!" Sirius protested. "I did not leave because I was offended. I was just reminded of the chat I had with Regulus earlier that evening. I was just angry at him because he is an idiot."

"We know that, Sirius." Peter said dodging Remus' shoe as he broke off some chocolate from Remus' chocolate bar. "She doesn't. Honestly, had I been in her position I would have thought the same. Maybe you should go talk to her. Tell her Moony knocked some sense into you."

"You have your moments of absolute brilliance, don't you?" James said grinning at Peter. Peter shrugged as he bit into the chocolate ducking to avoid Remus' other shoe.

"Go get your own chocolate, you rat." Remus huffed crossing the room and snatching the bar from Peter's hand. "But Moony, this is compensation for last full moon when you tried to eat me." Peter whined. "Eat my chocolate again and I will really eat you next time." Remus threatened.

"Okay fine wolfie." Peter huffed. "I am going down for lunch. They make pies on Saturdays. And Jinxie told me today we are having Shepherd's pie on the menu. You coming?"

The boys nodded, getting up to go for lunch. James nudged Sirius who looked at him with confusedly. James nodded, Sirius smiled relieved and ran off to piggyback on Remus' back till the common room. James laughed, shaking his head at his brothers. He looked at the letter on his bed again and vowed to write back to Lily as soon as he got back from lunch.

 **AN: I know it is not much. But I am trying really hard. You will get a new chapter soon. I promise. Please do read and review. Happy reading.**

 **I would like to thank Brandon, bekinsb20, Supergoddad, lycheelover and krishna-kalki for their love and support.  
A special thanks to Tharros for taking such an interest in the fic and being critical about it. I am trying to slow it down a bit. But I might not incorporate the "mudblood" incident as such and focus on the parts after the "mudblood" incident. Its makes no sense in repeating what all of us already know.  
Will post another chapter soon. Till then please check out my other fics. They are not so bad, honestly! I will be updating all of them soon.  
Loads of love,  
The Fishes**

 **And as always, Happy Reading.**


	9. Chapter 9

**AN: The characters belong to J.K. Rowling**

 _Dear Lily,_

 _You are as stubborn as they come aren't you? Before I say anything else, let me tell you this. I love the fact that you can reply to my letters now. That we can talk, that I can say what I want and that you tell me about your problems. Yes, I wanted to end all communication between us because it would have been the right thing to do, but you kept writing to me and I really am not that noble. I can't stay away any longer, so later on please don't hate me for writing to you. I just can't stay away from you, especially when you are so keen on letting me in._

 _Anyway, I am sorry about your sister. I can't really comprehend how that feels. I don't even want to imagine what I would do if one of my brothers starts treating me like that. I would probably be heartbroken and it would show. You are a remarkable girl Lily. You never show how much it hurts and I know it must have hurt you pretty bad, being the caring person that you are. I honestly, do not have an escape plan for you. I don't know how will manage to fulfil your sister's wishes and placate your mother in the process but all the best with that. Here is a suggestion though, just write home and tell your parents that we have some preparatory exams during the Easter holidays. Those are optional, but you signed up for them before their letter and the news of the wedding arrived and since it's a magically binding contract, you will have to appear for the paper._

 _Look, I don't know if parents of Muggleborns could contact Dumbledore or not. So, think it through before penning the lie. You could also tell them that your friend is down with dragon pox which needs constant supervision and that her parents are away and can't come back in time. No. Wait, don't say that, it sounds lame even as I write it down. You will figure something out Lily, I know._

 _And don't worry about your sister. Maybe it's for the benefit of all. I mean imagine you being nice to her children and she being horrible to yours. Wouldn't that be a little disconcerting for the little ones? I don't know what to say Lily, forgive me for not being much of a help, I am just prattling on. I wish I could give you a hug and tell you that everything will be fine. I can't really give you hug but I can sure tell you that things will work out. You just have to wait and hope (in case you are wondering, yes, I have read count of Monte Cristo. I noticed you carried that book around a lot and so I ordered it. It is an amazing book. Muggles write such fascinating stories. Please do suggest some more books.)_

 _Since I am useless in helping you, let me tell you about this funny little incident. So once upon a time four innocent marauders (as innocent as we could be), ventured out at night to set up for a prank; remember our first prank. Well, we were in the great hall charming plates and other dishes, when the doors opened and Professor Dumbledore walked in wearing a horribly bright yellow (Padfoot calls it sunshine yellow and absolutely loves the colour, he painted his room in that yellow. Ugh!) nightgown, sipping hot chocolate and singing to himself (on that note, he might be the greatest wizard of our age, but the man is tone deaf. Moony almost groaned out in disgust, giving away our hiding place under the Hufflepuff table but Wormtail clamped a hand on his mouth to shut him up. Phew!). Dumbledore proceeded to do a little jig, on the high table! Chuckled to himself and walked away, but before he got out, he turned and said something. We couldn't catch it but Moony swears that he heard Dumbledore say "Hope you liked the performance boys. I am hoping for a better one tomorrow morning."_

 _I am not really sure if he really knows who we are. But that almost scared us enough to back off had it not been for Padfoot. He argued that Dumbledore really can't prove anything, till he actually catches us in the act and so pranked the whole school. I hope I was able to put a smile on your face._

 _Yours Forever_

 _Prongs_

 _P.S.- Maybe you should try talking to this mysterious person. Maybe he/she isn't mad at you at all. You won't know till you ask._

Lily sat grinning in front of the fire in the common room. The letter made her feel better, true Prongs was useless as far as advices on avoiding family members came but at least he was honest about it. There was something infectiously cheerful about this letter; Lily hoped Prongs hadn't put a cheering charm on the letter. She would have to ask him about it in the next letter.

"Hey, Lils. What are you smiling at?" Marlene asked plopping herself on the armchair across from Lily's as Alice settled herself on the floor, leaning on Marlene's chair.

"Nothing." Lily said hastily. Trying to hide the letter from her best friends. "How was practice? Is Wood driving you crazy?"

Alice and Marlene exchanged a look. "Ugh! Well, Gale and James both. Even Sirius admitted that if James doesn't stop, he would be hexed soon." Marlene answered.

"Hey! I thought that would be a secret. James would murder me in my sleep if he hears that." Sirius said, whacking Marlene lightly on the back of her head. Marlene swatted away his hand, giving a slight signal to Alice. Alice lunged towards an unsuspecting Lily and snatched the letter from her surprised hands.

"Hey!" Lily shouted. "Give it back." She cried chasing Alice all over the common room. Alice tossed the letter to Marlene who knocked Sirius out of the way to catch the letter; Sirius in turn lost balance and fell on top of Remus. James who had just got up lost his balance as Remus and Sirius knocked on his legs and fell down. More chaos would have ensued had Peter not taken out his wand and sent a full body bind towards Lily and Alice who would have probably stepped on the boys otherwise. Peter then calmly walked over to James and helped him up, as Sirius rolled off Remus and jumped up. Remus stood up slowly and stared at Peter incredulously. He took a quick glance at a livid Lily and blanched. Meanwhile, Peter climbed up the stairs to the boys' dormitories before turning and freeing Lily and Alice.

Lily immediately sprang to her feet and ran after Peter who scampered up the stairs but her path was blocked by Potter. "Potter!" Lily growled warningly, "Get out of my way."

"As much as I want to give you absolutely anything you want, I can't get out of your way."

"And I thought you had stopped being a prat." Lily seethed.

"I love you too, Evans. But this won't work. Had Peter not stopped you, the entire house would be in hospital wing tonight."

"Is it my fault that the _entire_ house chooses to crowd the common room tonight? People should have just jumped out of the way." Lily huffed.

"And go where? Come on Lils, I thought you were smarter than that or do you just lose your marbles when you see my rugged handsome face?" James said with a charming grin.

"Keep talking Potter and I will disfigure your pretty face." Lily muttered.

"Hey! Okay, I am handsome, not pretty. And do you really think I look handsome?" Potter asked batting his eyelashes at her.

Lily smacked his arm. "Ow! Evans!"

Lily smirked. "You had it coming."

"Lily! This guy is brilliant! I like his idea." Alice said suddenly. Lily turned to see Alice, Marlene and Sirius bent over the letter, while Remus was sitting on Lily's armchair with a book open on his lap.

"Alice!" Lily said exasperatedly. "You were not supposed to read it!" She crossed the room and snatched the letter away. "Its private."

"Please, Lily. We practically share all our clothes. There is nothing private between us." Marlene said.

"Wow! Really, do you also share your thinga- majigs?" Sirius asked, his eyes gleaming. The girls made loud noises of protest. Remus smacked the book on his head and Potter smacked his own forehead with his palm, before whacking the back of Sirius' head.

"Ow! I was just curious." Sirius said innocently.

"Sirius Black!" Marlene exclaimed as she smacked his arm. "You are disgusting." She huffed.

"And yet you love me." Sirius muttered as he rubbed his arm. Alice and Lily smirked as Marlene blushed.

"Come on. James, Sirius let's leave the girls alone." Remus said suddenly.

"You go ahead. I want to talk to Eva- Lily about something." Sirius said. "In private." He added when Marlene and Alice didn't move.

Marlene and Alice looked at Lily curiously before nodding and moving away, discussing the letter and Prongs' idea. Black waited till they had settled in one corner of the common room before nervously clearing his throat.

"Look, I am not good at the whole bonding thing. I guess, we started on the wrong foot. But if you ever need to talk to anyone, you know where to find me."

Lily nodded. Black nodded and then turned to leave when Lily spoke up. "She is getting married. My sister. She is getting married and she is pregnant and she does not want me in her life. It just…"

Lily looked at him helplessly, her eyes brimming with unshed tears. Sirius looked into her eyes and nodded. "I know." He said softly, pulling her in a hug. "I know. It will be fine though. It will work out. Frankly it's her loss. You will be a great aunt someday. Tell you what?" Black said pulling away and looking at Lily softly. "Since my family has all but disowned me. Let's make a pact. I will be the best uncle to your children. And you could be the scary aunt Lily to any children I ever have. If I ever have one that is." Lily laughed before smacking his arm lightly.

"I will be the cool Aunt Lily." She said sticking her tongue out at him.

"Sure. And I will be a responsible adult." Sirius said rolling his eyes.

"Hey!" Lily protested, she was about to say something when her eyes met James Potter's. She frowned. Potter was watching her intently. But then he blushed and looked away.

"Ah! To be young and in love." Sirius said, imitating Dumbledore.

"I don't love him. I am not even sure if I like him. I think he has become tolerable now." Lily said defensively.

"I never said you loved him, Evans." Sirius said with a devious grin.

"You didn't? What were you saying then?" Lily asked.

"He is in love with you." Lily snorted. Sirius shook his head. "I know you don't believe me. But he is in love with you. He just can't help being a total prat in front of you." Sirius grinned. "He looks tough. But trust me he is a mother hen."

"I never thought he cares about anyone apart from himself." Lily said incredulously.

Sirius' crossed his arms across his chest. "He is not that bad you know."

"Look, Black- Sirius. I will never believe that. I know we are kind of friends now but the two of you have been torturing Severus who happens to be my best friend for years now. And I know Severus. He is a great person-" Sirius snorted, interrupting Lily. "See, that's what I am saying. I will not give Potter a chance, till one of you gives Sev a chance."

Sirius frowned. "Don't you think you are being unreasonable? Snape hates James and James hates Snape. Heck! I hate Snape too."

Lily glared at him. Sirius held up his hand as she opened her mouth to protest. "Look I don't want to fight. We don't like each other's friends. Fine. You don't insult James and I won't say a word against Snape." Lily huffed but nodded in agreement. Sirius smiled, mussed her hair affectionately before walking away to join Potter and Remus on their table. Lily watched as Sirius jumped on the couch next to Remus. Remus said something and Sirius kicked Remus as the three of them laughed. Lily smiled to herself before walking away. Looks like Black and Potter were growing up after all.

 **AN: I try to proof read my documents at least twice before I publish them but then since I know what I had in my mind, somethings just slip past me despite reading it so many times. Please point out the discrepancies as and when you find them. I would be glad to edit the document and make it better.**

 **Read and review please.**

 **Happy Reading. :)**

 **Love,**

 **The Fishes.**


	10. Chapter 10

**AN: The Potter universe belongs to J.K. The story however is mine.**

Lily groaned as she looked at the clock. Tomorrow at this time all of them would be returning home and she would be attending Petunia's wedding much to Petunia's displeasure. Mary Evans was a force to reckon with when she got going, none of Lily's arguments were heard, in fact she threatened to write to Dumbledore and ask him to excuse her from her extra classes. Lily had sullenly given in and had been dreading this day since then. However, she cheered up reasonably at the thought of spending the entire afternoon with Severus.

Sirius Black smiled at Lily in greeting as she sat down for breakfast. "Evans." Black said in his usual bored voice. "Why so serious?" He grinned at her cockily; Lily rolled her eyes and smacked him upside on his head, before reaching out for some toast and settling next to Alice, who was sitting across from Sirius. "I am so glad we have this break, I thought I would break under the stress." Marlene chirped from Lily's other side. The rest of the table grunted in agreement. Lily watched the others talk about their plans for the Easter holidays as she thought about hers morosely. Black nudged Lily's foot under the table as he tapped his wand on her plate so that the bread crumbs arranged themselves to say. _"Want us to gatecrash the wedding and add some charm? James would be more than eager to help."_ Lily looked at Black sitting right across her and shook her head. In the short time that she had really come to know Sirius Black, she knew that his idea of rebelling was creating a show for the others. While he was insanely loyal to the people he cared for and would do anything for them, sometimes his idea of anything literally meant anything. A quality Lily appreciated and feared at the same time, she was quite sure that should Remus, Potter or Pettigrew come to any harm due to someone else's fault, Black would go to Azkaban for murdering that idiot.

Just as Lily was about to get up from the table, the doors of the great hall burst open and a stag cantered in. It was the most beautiful stag Lily had ever seen, jet black with hazel eyes and majestic antlers. It walked gracefully to the high table and bowed its head in front of Dumbledore; a scroll was tied to one of its antlers. Dumbledore took the scroll but before he could touch the stag, the stag turned and cantered out of the great hall. Lily watched in amazement as big, fat, colourfully wrapped chocolate eggs started falling from the ceiling as soon as Dumbledore unrolled the scroll. Everyone cheered before eagerly unwrapping the chocolate eggs and taking a bite. That's when all hell broke loose.

Remus choked on his egg, as his hair started turning bright pink. Lily looked up to see Professor Dumbledore sporting an electric blue beard. The letter in his hand burst into flames as the message appeared.

 _The Marauders wish everyone Happy Easter. We decided it would be a lot more fun if each of us could resemble a decorative chocolate egg for a day. The colour of your hair and skin really represent your dominant traits. Let's see what each of us is made of. Help yourselves to some more chocolate then. Regards M._

Lily laughed at this; no one would voluntarily eat these chocolates now, but was quite shocked when she saw Dumbledore finish his chocolate as his skin turned golden. Marlene looked like she was in a trance as she took another bite of her chocolate and her skin turned a pale pink to match her bright purple hair. Lily snatched the egg from Alice who was going for a third bite and immediately realized that something was wrong. She felt compelled to eat the chocolate egg, that's when she realized that there was a very strong compulsion charm placed on the eggs. Who would be talented enough to successfully place such strong compulsion charms on all these eggs? Lily thought as she finished off the chocolate egg. She now sported dark blue hair and striped skin, the colours of the stripes being yellow, green, pink, white and black. Remus had brown and blue skin to go with his pink hair. Sirius black had white hair and yellow and black skin, James Potter was sporting flaming red hair and black and purple skin. All around Lily, people had really started resembling colourfully wrapped Easter eggs.

"Bloody brilliant." She swore as she looked around the hall.

"Evans!" Potter said suddenly, "I didn't know you could swear!"

"Well Potter, what you don't know about me could fill a book."

"You really think so? I know a lot about you flower."

"How many times do I have to say this! Don't call me flower."

"But you are a flower." Potter protested, "A colourful one at that."

"Potter!"

"Evans!"

"I really don't like you." Lily huffed.

"Of course you don't. You lo-" Potter broke off mid sentence. "I mean I don't really give you a lot of reasons to like me, do I?"

Lily narrowed her eyes, why was Potter acting all considerate and nice all of a sudden? Why wasn't he being cocky?

"True you don't." Lily responded as the owl post started coming in. A handsome eagle owl dropped a letter at Potter's plate before nibbling at his toast and flying off. Potter checked the letters and passed one to Frank Longbottom. "Finally the git got time to write to us." Frank commented as he took his letter from Potter. "He is a busy guy." Potter replied. "Circe's is not an easy school to be in."

"Circe's?" Lily asked aloud. "Are you talking about Circe's Island?"

Frank nodded as Potter stared at her before asking "How do you know about Circe's?"

"Oh, I just read about it. I figured there would be other wizarding schools in the world." Lily replied shrugging.

"There are." Potter said nodding.

"You know someone who studies at Circe's?" Lily asked curiously.

"Their cousin, Perseus goes to Circe's." Remus replied as Potter and Frank were too busy reading their letters.

"They have another cousin? I didn't know that."

"What you don't know about me can fill a book, Evans." Potter said with a smirk as he looked up from his letter. His eyes conveying that he knew something Lily didn't. "Gentlemen, I shall take your leave now. And Sirius, I think Percy sent this for you." Potter handed out another envelope to Sirius before walking away. Lily huffed as she watched him leave, the nerve of that boy! Black looked at her, shook his head and smiled. He knew, under the surface James Potter had caught Lily Evans' attention.

Severus ran a hand through his now yellow hair as he waited for Lily to appear at their fountain. He looked at his Red, Blue, Orange, Violet, Grey and Black checked hands and wondered what these colours would signify about him. He smiled as he saw an equally colourful Lily walk up to him.

"Severus." She said nodding formally as she sat next to him.

"Lily." He shot back just as formally, barely able to contain his grin. She laughed, Severus watched her hungrily, letting her laughter wash him over. _His_ Lily. "So, what have you been up to these few weeks? Are you staying away from Mulciber and Avery? I would after what they did to Mary; that was horrible, she still has the scars." Severus flinched internally. Avery and Mulciber had tried one of his untested spells on Mary McDonald. Not that Severus cared, but he was glad he hadn't perfected the spell, but it opened a lot of small gashes all over her body, like wounds from a small knife.

Lily had been livid and no amount of convincing her that they had found the spell accidentally and didn't know of the effects or that they really thought it was just a laugh till they saw what it did, were not enough to convince her. It had taken Severus a lot of time to convince her that he wasn't a part of that act. He however flinched at the idea of Lily getting in harm's way. "Yes. I am staying away from them but really Lils, they feel horrible. They had no idea that the results would be this."

"I don't believe them, Sev." Lily argued back. "They give me the creeps. Especially Avery, the way he looks at me. I feel dirty. Like I am some piece of meat he wants to hog on to."

Severus gripped the edge of the fountain tightly. He knew from Avery's drunken exclamations that Avery fancied Lily. No, he did not fancy Lily, Avery fantasised about becoming a death eater and then kidnapping and raping Lily before killing her. Avery had more often than not gotten up with several curses on him. Had it not been for the fact that they supported the same side, Avery might as well have been Severus' guinea pig. "Don't worry. I won't let him harm you." Severus said lightly.

Lily smiled slightly before pushing him away with a laugh. Severus grinned. The two friends lapsed into comfortable silence. Lily put her head on Severus' shoulder and sighed contentedly. As happens with the best of friends, sometimes you don't need words. After half an hour, Lily rose from her position and checked the loose brick. She grinned broadly. There was a letter from Prongs. Severus looked at her curiously. "Prongs replied."Lily chirped happily. Severus frowned. "You haven't even met him Lily. How do you know he is not someone creepy? Why are you still talking to him?"

"Because it helps. There are times when I know how the rest of you would react, and I need an unbiased perspective. Prongs gives me that. He helps a lot. He is like my guardian angel or fairy godmother. He is just there."

"Are the rest of us not enough for you? Am I not enough for you? I will be whatever you need me to be, you know that."

"I know that, Sev. You will always be my best friend. You will always be the first person I would turn to during a crisis or a happy moment. You would always be my safe place, my harbour. But you are biased; you never see a fault in me. Prongs or rather writing to Prongs helps me introspect."

"You still don't want to know who he is?"

"Not yet."

"What if he is someone you weren't expecting? What if he is someone you hate? You might have given your enemy all your weak points."

"I don't think Prongs would do anything to harm me. Even if he turns out to be someone I hate, I doubt that he would use anything against me. I trust him that much."

"Just don't get hurt Lily." Lily smiled and pulled Severus in a tight hug.

"I won't. I promise." She said with a smile. "And even if I do hurt myself, you would always be there to help me pick myself up. Of all the people around me, you know me the best and I trust you with my life. Sev, you will always be my best friend."

Severus showered Lily with one of his rare smiles. A smile that lit his entire face and made him look like the almost 16 year old that he was.

"You used to smile like this before." Lily remarked. "You should smile a lot more, you know."

"I am smiling now."

Lily grinned, gave Severus a quick hug, before strapping her back on her shoulder and walking back to the Gryffindor tower. Had she looked back, she would have seen Severus do a rare jig; something that a rat saw and then scampered off to relate this hilarious tale to its friends.

 **AN: Here it is, another chapter. Happy reading guys. Do read and review.**

 **Love,**

 **The Fishes**


	11. Chapter 11

**AN: The characters belong to the Queen. The story however...**

Lily sat under the alcove outside the great hall for what felt like eternity, yesterday she was bemoaning the fact that she had to go home for Petunia's wedding; today she would give anything to go back to that state of perfect happiness. The letter from her father was crushed in her hand, her ears were ringing, and she didn't know what to make of the news. Only this morning, Alice was teasing her about Petunia's wedding, only five minutes ago Sirius was offering to gate crash the wedding and save her and then Athena had dropped off the letter. She recognised her father's handwriting, she couldn't believe her own naiveté, she had joked that she wished her father had written to inform her that the wedding was called off, she didn't know her wish would be granted and horribly so.

Lily looked at the letter again, willing it to burst into flames or something and tell her it was all a very sick joke. But the letter remained crushed in her hand. She opened it and read it again, though the words did not make any sense at all.

 _Dear Lily,_

 _I don't know how to tell you this, but your mother and Petunia met with an accident last night, on their way home from the wedding rehearsal. Your mother is fine but unfortunately Petunia took the brunt of the impact and is in a critical condition. We had to terminate her pregnancy to save her life but she is still in a coma. We don't know when will she wake up, or if she will wake up at all. I know we could have waited to tell you this in person, but you needed to know before you come over. Your mother above all else needs you, so does your sister and so do I. I am sorry I had to tell you about it like this._

 _I will come pick you up from the station and we will go straight to the hospital, your mum will be discharged today._

 _Just come home, love._

 _Dad._

Lily still couldn't make sense of this letter, only day before yesterday her mother had sent her an excited letter about the wedding and now Petunia was in a coma.

In a coma…

In a coma…

Lily scrambled to her feet, she had an idea, she could create a potion to re-enervate Petunia, there must be something, somewhere. She turned towards the dungeons and bumped into someone, nearly falling back into the alcove.

"Steady there, Evans." Potter said, holding her arm to prevent her from falling. "Everything alright?"

Lily nodded, her eyes darting towards the stairs leading to the dungeons, she had to meet Slughorn and beg him to help her. Potter was still prattling on about something, Lily nodded hurriedly before saying, "Potter, I really don't have the time. I need to go see Professor Slughorn for something."

James stepped aside; he watched Lily run down the stairs to the dungeons, his eyes then followed her on the map. Severus however, followed Lily down to the dungeons; he slipped next to Lily and started assisting her in preparing the potion. Severus didn't need to ask what potion it was, from the general ingredients he knew it was some potion to wake someone up. Severus almost lost his temper when Lupin stepped in to assist Lily too but said nothing, sensing Lily's relief at seeing Lupin. From the corner of his eye, Severus could see Black and Potter hovering at the doors, but not entering. Preparing the potion was a long, tedious and precise task; the three struggled all day, missing their train. Professor McGonagall had written a letter to their parents explaining that they were working on a project and would reach home by night through floo.

Lily lost balance and fell out of Severus' fireplace, gentle but firm hands picked her up, she looked up to see a visibly upset Mrs. Snape. "Quickly," she whispered urgently, pulling her to the front door. "Severus' father is not very well, I am sorry dear that I am being so inhospitable but you must leave now." She said as she dragged Lily out of the front door. "I will tell Severus, that you said Goodbye." She said with a very worried glance towards the ceiling before shutting the door at Lily's face. Lily made her way down Spinner's End; she was halfway through when Severus caught up with her. He slipped his hand in hers and they walked silently, like they once used to as children.

Mr. Evans was waiting for them outside their house. He looked worse for wear with his unkempt hair, the shadow of a beard and ruffled clothes. He looked he had aged several years and his face had lost all its radiance and happiness. Severus gaped at the now shrunken man in front of him. As soon as Lily saw her father, she ran to him, hugging him fiercely. She turned to look at Severus and let him know she appreciated everything he had done for her that morning before getting into the car and driving away to the hospital with the potion in her pocket. Severus nodded his acknowledgment and stepped aside to allow the car to leave before making his way back home. He was half infuriated and half intrigued by the conversation he had with Potter and Black before leaving Hogwarts.

 _Severus was about to step in after Lily when Lupin's hand landed on his shoulder. "Stay away from me, wolf." He snarled, "I might have tolerated you all day for Lily, but don't even think for a moment that I stopped seeing you as the monster that you are."_

 _"_ _Watch your mouth, slimeball." Black snarled stepping up next to Lupin._

 _"_ _Or what, you would ask him to bite me?" Severus retorted back_

 _"_ _For the last time Snivellus, if you know what is good for you, keep your mouth shut." Potter said heatedly, "In case you forgot, you owe me."_

 _Hatered peaked inside Severus like molten lava ready to burst out, "I-_

 _"_ _That is enough." Lupin said sharply, "We are here for a specific reason, so everyone play nice."_

 _Severus was amazed at how Potter and Black listened to the half-breed. "You call yourselves wizards?" He sneered, "How can you call yourselves purebloods and wizards when you take orders from a half-breed?"_

 _Potter and Black both started to protest but Lupin held his hand up silencing them with one stern look._

 _"_ _While I enjoy your hypocrisy and bigotry Severus, we are not here to fight you. We come with one request." Lupin paused, looking pointedly at Potter and Black who unwillingly stepped back. "I don't know why Lily was preparing the potion, but please take care of her." Lupin continued. A muscle was twitching on Black's jaw and Potter looked beyond worried, if anything this infuriated Severus._

 _"_ _I don't need you tell me to take care of Lily, I was the one wiping away her tears when you were torturing her to no end." He retorted angrily._

 _"_ _Look here, Snivellus." Black said heatedly, "We have apologised to Lily for everything and she has forgiven us, she looked awful this morning. All we are asking you to do is to be there for her, don't run off with your Death Eater pals like I know you planned to."_

 _Before Severus could say anything Black had stalked out of the room and Lupin had followed him, Potter stayed in his place, leaning against the wall, eyeing Severus curiously. Severus ignored him, as he threw floo powder into the fireplace._

 _"_ _I know your secret, Snape. I know you won't hurt her, but if you dare abandon her during her time of need for your Death Eater internship, I swear on Merlin, that you would never see her again." Potter said, as Severus stepped into the fire._

It was a kind of pact between them at that moment, there would be only two contenders for Lily's affections and both would do anything to make the other fall from her grace. Severus sighed as he entered his home; his father was up and shouting again. Severus ignored him and went back to his room, pulling several scrolls of parchments towards him. He started writing letters to his friends and fellow Slytherins, full of elaborate excuses for not joining them this week.

 **AN: Sooooooooooo... another chapter! Sorry I have been out of it for a while. Well, the next chapter would be the big heartbreak. As you can see now, Severus and Lily are really close. So, please brush up on your memory of the mudblood incident. I won't be writing that down, but I will write about things that happened before and after the incident.**

 **Anyway, do read and review. Your comments really push me to write more.**

 **Happy Reading.**

 **Love,**

 **The fishes.**


	12. Chapter 12

_Dear Prongs,_

 _Petunia lost her child. I spent all morning on the day before our break started preparing a reviving potion for her but I could do nothing for her child. She woke up yesterday; the potion took two days to heal her. And when mum told her that I had prepared a potion to help wake her up, she lost her mind. She hates me even more now. She told me I had ruined her life; that I should have let her die with her child because now she won't be able to face Vernon ever again and she can't live without Vernon either. What surprised me was Vernon's reaction. He has been so supportive of her; he even thanked me for saving her. In fact, when Petunia was being terrible to me, he took me out of the room sat me down and told me to not worry about it. Petunia was really excited about the child and it is just the pain of her loss being channeled out on me because she does not like me. He then asked me to stay away from her from now and that he plans to marry her as soon as she feels well enough and it would probably during the term or my examinations. I don't understand Vernon, nor do I like him but I am glad Tuney has someone who loves her so much. Sometimes, I wonder, especially with the war in our world, will we get the chance to love someone so devotedly? Should we even allow ourselves to love someone so completely? With so many deaths every day, is love even worth it in our world, especially with the fear of loss looming like a dark shadow behind us all the time._

 _I know you want to stay anonymous but I wish I could talk to you, see you for real, touch you maybe get a hug from you. We have exchanged a few letters but I feel this pull towards you because you understand me and you don't judge me even when I am being a complete idiot._

 _You remind me of how Severus used to be at some point. Snarky, smart, funny, someone I could rely on to not be judgmental. Did I ever tell you, that he introduced me to the wizarding world, he taught me to control my magic a little. As a couple of eight year olds, we had plans for school, we were Princess Lily and Prince Severus, slayers of wayward dragons, protectors of innocents. But at times I don't really know this Severus I am friends with now. There is something dark in him that no matter what I do, I can't push away._

 _All my other friends wonder why I talk to him. Sometimes, I wonder why I stick up for him too. I know he is fascinated with dark arts, obsessed even. I know he is slowly but surely moving towards Voldemort, but something in me is not able to erase the memory of the innocent boy I once knew. The boy who assured me that my blood status will not really matter because I was so much better and talented._

 _I have already lost Petunia; at least I think I have. I don't want to lose Severus too because that would mean losing all of my childhood. What do I do Prongs? How do I bring Severus back? I know he is not lost, I know there is some innocence left in him. I know he can be pulled back from the dark arts, I know if I try hard enough, I would be able to pull him out of it, but then I fear what if all my efforts go to waste? What would I do? How will I live without the one person who knows me like the back of his hand, the one person I turn to at all times, the one person who has stood by me through thick and thin. I don't even know why I am burdening you with this but this break, while Severus is at my side all the time even when he is attentive to me, he is not really here and I guess that is troubling me._

 _Waiting for your letter._

 _Lily_

James Potter read through the letter in the dead of the night and his heart ached. He was torn with jealousy he felt for Snape, who had the love and devotion of the only woman he could ever love and the pain he felt for Lily. He wished he could take away Lily's tears with her pain but he couldn't. He thought of his last conversation with Snape. So, Snape had listened to him but Lily being the ever perceptive person knew that he really wanted to be elsewhere. James wished he could do something about it, make Lily realize that Snape had already dived into the dark arts and there was no coming back for him. In that moment, James Potter that he would do everything in his power to bring out this one truth in front of Lily to save her from the heartbreak that Snape would cause by becoming a death eater.

He sat down to pen his reply to her before waking up Sirius and discussing this idea with him. Both of them decided that it would be good for her to give up on Snape, he wasn't even worth it as it is. Tomorrow they would write to Peter and Remus about the same and probably invite them over to the Manor for the day to discuss the idea.

"James you can't be serious about this." Remus said shaking his head as soon as he stepped out of the fireplace at the Potter Manor. James, Sirius and Peter who till now were busy discussing their great prank before the start of their OWLs looked up.

"Why not?" James asked brows furrowed, "You agreed that a muggle fairytale prank would be great for breaking the tension before the exams." Sirius looked at Remus curiously while Peter nodded enthusiastically.

"I am not talking about the prank." Remus said, "I am talking about the letter you sent me. I am talking about your plan to expose Severus in front of Lily."

"Well, I am serious about that too."

"So am I." Sirius added from his chair.

"How do you plan to do that? And who gave you the right to decide for her? It is her life, this is her relationship with her best friend, let her draw her boundaries."

"But Remus, you and I both know that Snivellus would end up hurting her, she is not giving up on him because she still hopes that he could give up his dream of being a death eater, she still believes that her blood status doesn't matter to him." James added heatedly.

"Maybe her blood status doesn't matter to him." Remus pointed out.

"But what about other muggleborns? What about the attack on Mary, all of us here know that it was Snape's spell." Sirius argued, "And do you honestly think Remus, that Lily would not be hurt if she finds out that Snape is a hypocritical bastard, who claims her blood status doesn't matter to him and promptly goes off to kill other muggleborns and muggles."

"I know Lily would leave him if he ever does that." Remus admitted, "But let her find this out on her own, let her make that decision. We never know, she might just be able to turn him, if she speaks so highly of him, maybe he is not that bad."

Both James and Sirius snorted. "James are you sure that you only want to expose Snape in front Lily, to save her from a future heartbreak? Are you sure that you are not eliminating your only competition for her affections?" Peter asked suddenly, looking sharply at James.

Remus whipped his head to look at a flustered James as Sirius smirked before saying, "Of course that is the added advantage."

"She might love him, maybe none of us considered that but maybe that's why she is not giving up on him." Peter said, "Sometimes, when we love someone we are desperate enough to believe that if we do things right, if we alter ourselves we would be able to save the prized relationship as well as change that person. Look at my mum, she still believes that dad would someday stop beating her up, it has been 19 years to their marriage and I have lost all chances of ever having a sibling because of what he did to her." He finished his statement with a disgusted expression on his face.

The four boys looked at each other before James said slowly, "You know, eliminating competition was my ulterior motive. But after what Peter said, I would rather she love a mountain troll that appreciates her than be with Snape who has the potential to break her spirit. I am not going to allow that." He said fiercely, his eyes alight with fire. Sirius nodded, his jaw set and his grey eyes glinting dangerously, Remus squared his jaw. He knew he wanted to protect Lily but he still wasn't convinced that manipulating Lily this way was the only solution. Peter nodded with a determined look on his face, he can't save his mother, but if he could help it, he would not let any other girl become a shadow of his mother, especially not the girl who was so special to all his friends.

 **So, another chapter done with. Next up would be the mudblood incident and the end of fifth year. Then would be sixth year, Prongs would be exposed and a love story would continue from there. Do read and review. No seriously, I need reviews. Check out my other fics and let me know what you think about them too. Happy reading.**

 **The fishes**


	13. Chapter 13

**AN: A section of the chapter has been copied from page 542, Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows.**

 _"_ _Mudblood."_ The word rang in her ears as she ran away from the lake tears leaking down her face. She didn't know where she was going, she just kept running, getting away from them, _him._ Lily would have kept running had she not tripped, she fell down hard and broke down, not really having the strength to get up. She knew she sounded like a wounded beast, but Severus, her best friend had done the unthinkable. She knew this was going to happen someday but she always believed that she would be able to make Severus see reason; she never would have believed that Severus saw her as something dirty.

Her heart ached; memories started flitting across her eyes, Severus telling her that blood status didn't matter. Severus promising that he would always protect her. Severus always promising her that blood status did not matter to him, that she was too special, too good and no one would hate her for being a muggleborn. How could Severus do this? Who was this Severus Snape? Where was her best friend who never said such hurtful words?

Lily tried to get up, wiping her eyes but failed, she had hurt her knee pretty bad. Just then someone offered her a hand; she took it gratefully looking up to see Sirius Black looking at her with concern. She let go of his hand, it was all their fault. Had they not harassed Severus so much, maybe Severus would not have called her a mudblood. Deep down she knew this was not true, they had not made Severus hate muggleborns, if anything Potter and Black should have made Severus hate purebloods. She crossed her arms, looking away, angry tears spilling down her eyes.

Black sat on the floor across her, watching her warily. "I am sorry." He said his eyes downcast. Lily stared at him. "I should have known better. I swear to Merlin, I had not thought that Snape would call you that word." Lily did not answer, she just kept looking away. "Lils please, say something. Shout at me, hex me, hell, use an unforgivable on me but please say something."

Lily's lower lip quivered, "He was my best friend." She whispered through her tears. "He told me being a muggleborn would not matter. And now he- now he-" Lily started sobbing again. Sirius moved forward and engulfed her in a hug. Lily started hitting him, "Why did you provoke him so much? Didn't you know better? You are worse when you are around Potter!" She screeched, punctuating each sentence with a punch on his chest before going limp in his arms. "Why did he call me a mudblood, Sirius?" Lily sobbed, "Does he honestly think that I am dirty? Am I really worthless?"

Sirius made a noise as he forced her to look into his eyes, green eyes met stormy grey. "You are not worthless. Do you hear me?" He said gently but firmly. "You are an amazing person and Snape is an idiot to hold your blood status against you." Fresh tears leaked out of Lily's eyes, Sirius hugged her again, helping her on her feet. "Come on; let's get you to Madam Pompfrey. I know a couple of healing spells but I would rather she fixed you up. Okay?" He said gently, half carrying her to the hospital.

After a short trip to hospital wing, Sirius walked back to the common room with Lily, to find Remus waiting for them there with Alice, Marlene, Mary, James and Peter. As soon as Lily clambered through the portrait hole she was attacked by all of them together. Before she knew she was being hugged by Remus who was quickly batted out of the way by Alice, Marlene and Mary who gave Lily a group hug. They held on to her for a while, before giving way to Peter who patted Lily's hair. James stood in front of her, eyes downcast. He knew she had been crying, Sirius had won a round of Stone-Paper-Scissors with Remus to go talk to Lily. Lily took one look at him and marched away with Alice and Marlene in tow. They sat in a corner revising their transfiguration notes till supper.

Severus was waiting for Lily outside the Great Hall, he started as soon as he saw her approach the hall, but Alice, Mary and Marlene flanked Lily protectively while Remus and Sirius followed the group their jaws set. James walked behind the group feeling horrible. The Marauders had sworn that they would break Lily's illusion regarding Snape but he was not ready for the heartbreak he witnessed and felt. Years later James would not be able to explain, what possessed him to act the way he did that day. He knew he had crossed all lines.

Severus ignored the rest and approached Lily, but Marlene, held Lily's arm firmly and lead her away, glaring at Severus. Lily sat at the table, not really eating anything, Severus sat next to Regulus, looking forlorn and not really eating anything either. Avery and Mulciber had congratulated him on publicly humiliating the deranged mudblood who believed Severus was her best friend. Regulus however, knew the truth. He saw the misery in Severus' eyes, he knew that misery well; he missed his elder brother too, except that Sirius seemed to have replaced him with Potter, Lupin and Pettigrew.

"For heaven's sake!" Regulus whispered to Snape. "Get a grip. Go apologise after dinner. Convince her that you didn't mean it and don't act rash if she is angry with you."

Severus nodded, looking at Lily again who was playing with her food. Just then, Marlene fed her some food from her fork, followed by Alice and Marlene. Severus was jealous; he thought it was unfair that they got to be the ones to take care of Lily, his Lily. It was his job to cheer her up, at some point Black said something and Lily laughed. She didn't laugh for long, but she laughed and Severus saw red. He stood up his hunger all but gone and left the hall. It took him a few minutes to calm down. He made his way back to the Great Hall determined to talk to Lily, not really caring about who saw him talking to her.

He searched the Gryffindor table for Lily but she was gone, so were half the people her age apart from Prewett and MacDonald who were quizzing each other. Severus would have walked up to them, demanding for Lily but he caught Regulus' eye who shook his head as he approached him.

"Go to the Gryffindor tower and talk to her there. Do you want to get yourself killed or her cursed by talking to them here? Mulciber, Avery, Nott, Goyle the whole lot of them are watching you." Regulus said as he dragged Severus out of the Great Hall.

Severus paced outside the portrait hole. He had asked; no begged the Fat Lady to let him in and talk to Lily but she didn't budge. He was already planning to sleep here if he didn't find any stragglers to take his message in, but he would talk to Lily come what may. She must know that it just slipped out, that he didn't mean it. He would die before letting her down. He had to tell her that he loved her, always had loved her. He never saw her as someone worthless. How could he? Lily was the only person who chose to see and appreciate the person he was. She had to understand that she meant the world to him. Lost in his thoughts Severus paced for what looked like hours before he saw a third year approaching the portrait hole.

The girl took one look at him and squeaked in fright. Severus recognised her; she was one of the mud- muggleborns Avery and Mulciber had tortured while he had watched. She ignored him, once she recovered from her fear and marched up to the Fat Lady and whispered the password. The portrait hole swung open. "Wait!" Severus called. She stopped and turned to look at him, her expression less than friendly and folded her arms across her chest. "Can you please let me in? I have to talk to Lily Evans. It is important."

"No." The girl spoke angrily before climbing through the portrait hole. Severus swore angrily, bloody Gryffindors. Bloody Gryffindor Mudbloods. Mean little bastards, and everyone thought Slytherins were the black sheep. How can they say so? Here the entire Gryffindor house was set on snatching Lily away from him. How were they nice people then?

It was almost curfew when he saw Prewett and MacDonald approach the portrait hole. "About time." Severus said loudly as he stood in front of the two girls. "I need to talk to Lily and you need to take me inside or call her out here for the same."

"You have some nerve, showing up here." Prewett said angrily, already drawing her wand out. "Get away from us, we are not helping you out, not after what you said to her. Come on, Mary." She said and the girls left, Severus grabbed MacDonald's hand as she made her way through the portrait hole.

"Listen, MacDonald." He said urgently, "I know you don't like me and trust me the feeling is mutual, but I need to talk to Lily. If she doesn't come out tonight, I will sleep here till she comes and talks to me." MacDonald struggled to free her wrist, he let go and she clambered in.

Severus had to wait for another 30 minutes before Lily stepped out in her dressing gown. It looked like she had been crying before that. She stood in front of Severus arms folded; her disappointment in him seemed to seep into the air around them. Severus had planned all his words, but now that Lily was there in front of him, he found it difficult to speak.

"I'm sorry." He managed to say after what looked like ages.

"I'm not interested.'

"'I' m sorry!"

"Save your breath." Lily said before continuing. "I only came out because Mary told me you were threatening to sleep here."

"I was. I would have done. I never meant to call you a Mudblood, it just-"

"Slipped out?" Lily could not feel sorry for him, even when she knew that her words and attitude were hurting him but she had thought this through before coming down to meet him, she had to end this before he hurt her any more. "I've made excuses for you for years. None of my friends can understand why I even talk to you. You and your precious little Death Eater friends- you see, you don't even deny it! You don't even deny that's what you're all aiming to be! You can't wait to join You-Know-Who, can you?"

Severus wanted to deny all of this; he opened his mouth to deny it too but realized that finally Lily was seeing him like everybody saw him. She didn't believe in him anymore. He closed his mouth without saying anything; he knew her accusations were true.

"I can't pretend any more. You've chosen your way, I've chosen mine." She said with finality in her voice.

"No- listen, I didn't mean-"

"- to call me a Mudblood? But you call everyone of my birth Mudblood, Severus. Why should I be any different?"

Severus struggled, what could he say now to make her see that she was special? She was not a common Mudblood, she was Lily Evans, his Lily. He struggled to collect his thoughts, almost saying that he was madly and irrevocably in love with her and that is why she was different. But before he could say anything Lily gave him a contemptuous look and climbed back into the portrait hole.

Severus crumpled outside the portrait hole, sobbing at the loss of the one girl he would ever love. On the other side of the portrait hole, the Marauders watched Lily run up the stairs to her dormitory, trying to stem the tears that were flowing down her eyes.

"Was it worth it?" James wondered as he watched Lily dash away. Remus shook his head.

"She will take some time but it is better that she knows now, rather than later." Sirius said with a shrug. "Don't worry; we will take care of her. She will be fine."

"I am glad she stood up for herself. At least she would not be hurt again and again." Peter said idly. The Marauders all looked at each other and went back to staring at their books, their thoughts with the girl in their house and on the boy crumpled outside their portrait hole.

 **AN: Sooooooooooooo, another chapter done. I hope you like it. I pulled a lot of hair out of scalp to write this one. Anyway, please, please, please do read and review. Please. Happy reading. Next up a letter from Prongs to Lily and then probably a couple of chapters before Prongs is exposed. Tell me what you think. Please do read my other fics, they are all inter connected. Happy Reading once again.**

 **Thank you for all the glowing reviews.**

 **Much love**

 **The Fishes**


	14. Chapter 14

_Dear Prongs,_

 _I guess the whole school knows about the incident at the lake by now, so, you must have heard about it too. What you don't know is that Severus broke my heart that day at the lake. He was my best friend. I had never imagined a life without him. He was the one to promise me that blood status did not matter, that talent was all that mattered but he broke that promise. He held my birth against me. I am not mad at him, I am hurt. I will be honest with you Prongs. I think I was falling for him a little. Severus had always been there for me. He was kind, gentle, witty, understanding, sensitive, caring even protective. He did not bully anyone like Potter normally does; he had the strength in him to be supportive of me even when he had not met many kind, supportive people in his life._

 _But I guess all of it was an illusion. It feels so unreal, for a minute I knew who Severus was, I knew him like the back of my hand and in that one moment all of that shattered. I don't know who Severus is anymore, I don't recognize him. I don't even know when he morphed into a death eater. I guess the signs were all there from the beginning, I was just too trusting to see them._

 _Do you know he was always mean to Petunia, not that Petunia was nice to him but I always thought it was more of a mutual dislike based on who they were as individuals. Now that I think of it, I remember him telling me that Petunia was not important because she was just a muggle. But I have never heard Severus say bad things about any other muggleborn. I have never even heard him call someone a mudblood. Yes, he did not like Mary or Patrick or Jeremy or any other muggleborn in our year but Severus rarely likes people. He is cynical, he has always been cynical and that's why I believed that we would be perfect for each other. He is too cynical and I am too trusting, we would have balanced each other out._

 _Do you know when we were young; we would pretend to be Princess Lily (who was a witch) and Prince Severus (who was a wizard). We would pick up twigs and twirl them around and we would go save villages from dragons and banshees and the likes. Severus taught me to control my magic. We would make blades of grass fly, we would swing really high and then let go, it was competition to see who would land the farthest without hurting themselves. Severus taught me about magical creatures. We even saw a colony of gnomes in the forest near our home. Severus said that they were anomalies as most gnomes are found in wizarding households but we had a lot of fun, picking up gnomes and playing with them. One even bit me once, and I cried up a storm and Severus was so distressed that he clenched my hand and I screamed because it hurt and it was already hurting because of the gnome bite and then when he removed his hand, the wound had healed itself. That was the day I told Severus I want to be a magical healer, and he said he wanted to be a potioneer._

 _He said we would work as a team; he would create healing potions for all sorts of illnesses. And I could use them to treat people. He told me I would be the best healer ever and that everyone would only want me because I would be really nice to them._

 _Why am I telling you all this? It doesn't matter. Severus is gone. Do you know that he never really trusted you. He kept warning me against you. He disliked you so much. He was worried that you would break my heart, and I promised him that I would run to him and demand his shoulder to cry on. Look how the tables have turned, he broke my heart and I seek your shoulder to cry on._

 _I am losing my mind. The holidays are about to start, I don't know how I will survive these holidays. Alice and Marlene have been kind enough to invite me to their homes in August, after they come back from Greece (they are holidaying with the Potters, I don't even know how they stand that bullying toerag but they seem to adore him. Beats me really. Maybe that's how they felt about my friendship with Severus. I hope they don't get hurt just as bad.)_

 _Anyway, I should get going, a lot of packing to do. I am sending it through a school owl, because it is the middle of the night right now. The owl would find you in your dormitory, and your identity would be safe. I hope you reply before we love._

 _Love_

 _Lily_

James Potter sighed, Lily had sent her love but he couldn't feel the warmth of it. He smiled indulgently as he read about her childhood memories again. He could imagine a young, beautiful Lily running in a meadow chased by a dark haired child. For some reason James could not imagine the innocence in Snape's face. He read the letter again. His heart breaking with hers, she was falling for Snape. Those words, her memories of him burned James' heart. He couldn't help but feel jealous of Snape. He slipped out of bed, taking his invisibility cloak with him. He wanted to take a walk to clear his head before replying to Lily.

James wandered around the empty corridors remembering the numerous times he had seen Snape and Lily laugh at some corner or meet at some other place. He remembered the hexes he had sent Snape's way out of jealousy. If he was honest with himself, James had been jealous of Snape since the first day because while Lily had chosen to dislike him, she was kinder to Severus Snape. James had disliked the boy only because he wanted to join Slytherin, but that dislike had taken an ugly turn when James realized that Snape was in love with and had a fair chance of winning the love of Lily Evans and he did win her love. James sighed dejectedly; his feet carried him to the Astronomy tower. He was surprised that it was empty. Mostly on the last day of the term, love birds flogged the Astronomy tower to be with each other before being separated for 3 months.

He sat down near a window. Not really minding anyone else, he didn't bother removing his invisibility cloak. He did not want anyone know he was there. He pulled out a parchment from his pocket and started writing his reply.

 _Dear Lily,_

 _I am sorry that you are hurting so much. I am sorry that your friendship with Snape took such an ugly turn. I have three friends who are more like brothers to me and I have been through a phase where I thought I would be losing one of them forever. It is not a happy thought; I was so distressed at the thought of losing one. I don't even want to know the pain that such a betrayal brings. Forgive me Lily, but I value friendship and trust above everything else. You do not break your promises to a friend. You do not make false promises to a friend either and you never betray their trust, you never prey on their worst insecurities. That is not what friendship is all about._

 _If Severus promised you that your blood status would not matter to him, he should have kept his promise. I am sorry to say this Lily but it could be a possibility that maybe you were falling for the idea of Severus Snape, rather than the man himself. How else would you explain the differences between what you saw him as and what he really turned out to be?_

 _Lily, I know you are hurting right now and I am sorry that I can't do much for you. But look at this way. It is better you found out now, before you were in too deep. I have seen people have their spirits broken because they were deeply in love with an idea and couldn't change the reality to match up to that idea. They were infinitely lost in the loop of trying to change themselves, in order to the earn the remorse and compassion of the ones they love, not really realizing that it is they who choose to love an idea and chase after it, the reality was always different and much more sinister. They never realized that all of their sacrifices would be fruitless because they never loved and were never loved by the real person behind the mask._

 _Imagine being caught in such a loop, Lily. Imagine finding out much later that Snape really aimed to be a death eater; would it have been easier for you to leave him then? Or would you have tried to turn him and failed at it? I know you don't give up, I know you wouldn't have given up on him either, but where would such a situation leave you?_

 _I know I might sound insensitive, but Lily, if Snape lied to you about everything, if all his promises fell short as soon as he was humiliated publicly, do you think he was a very good friend to start with? Do you think your other friends would have humiliated you like that? If no, then you have your answer. Please don't fret over what is gone. Please don't compare and analyse the Snape of your memories with the one you see now. It could be that he meant every word he said to you, when he said them to you but people changed and he changed._

 _Please try to move on with life with good memories of him. Don't focus on the bad. Focus on the fond memories you would share with your children someday. Snape was worth it at some point, if not now. Let him go and make peace with it. Forgive him and move on. You will feel lighter, happier._

 _I hope I was of some help to you. Remember I am always there for you._

 _Yours forever_

 _Prongs_

When he was satisfied with his letter, he rolled it up and pocketed it. As he stood up to leave the astronomy tower, he spied a lone figure sitting on a nearby parapet. He would have recognized the red hair anywhere, he had fantasised about tangling his hands in them since forever.

He did not know what possessed him, as he made his way towards her. He sat down next to her and took his time in observing her. She was looking at the stars, a faraway look in her eyes.

"Hey." He said softly, she jumped, looking around wildly. "It's me." He said reassuringly, as he removed the cloak.

Her eyes turned cold. "What do you want Potter." She said harshly, looking away from him.

"Nothing. I just- I just wanted to apologise for the other day."

She turned to look at him warily, but did not say a word.

"I shouldn't have gone after Snape. It was out of line. I won't make any excuses either, what I said to you and did to him were wrong. I shouldn't have done that and I am sorry."

"It changes nothing, Potter."

"I know, but I never meant for you to get hurt or to create a rift between you and him. Not like this, not by hurting you so much. I am sorry."

"I heard your apology the first time and what's it to you anyway? You never thought twice before hurting me, why should it be any different now?"

James winced at the sharpness of her tone. "I never meant to hurt you. I have never done anything to consciously hurt you. Bloody hell, Evans, I am crazy about you, I would die before hurting you."

"Then why do humiliate me all the time? Why do you ask me out so publicly? Why do you have to make a spectacle of me? Do you know how much the other girls hate me? Do you know the kind of things they do and say to me? Had it not been for Alice, Marlene, Mary and Severus I would-" She stopped abruptly, shaken up by her admission. She had sworn to never let Potter know how much he bothered her. And she had referred to Severus again, when will she let him go?

James' eyes bulged out. While his proposals and her rejections were a part of public entertainment, he honestly believed that only grand gestures would help him win Lily over. He had never thought that all of this would have a negative impact on her. Marlene and Alice had asked him time and again to stop his stupid pranks but he had brushed them aside believing that women could only be won over with grand gestures. Hadn't Frank won Alice the same way? Hadn't Percy won Alexandra through grand gestures?

"I didn't know- I didn't think it would be so bad for you, Evans." He said, his expression showing how genuinely horrified he was of her suffering. "I honestly thought that I would- that you would be impressed by my grand gestures. Frank had won Alice that way. I am really sorry Evans. I honestly did not know."

She stared at him. She knew he was telling the truth, she knew he felt horrible, a part of her wanted to let him stay miserable but she was better than that. "Well you should be." She said finally, he looked at her ready to apologise again. She held her hand up to stop him. "Don't apologise again. If you do, my ego would be as large as yours because finally James Potter apologised to me and did so repeatedly. I like staying grounded. And I believe you. You were misguided. I forgive you; just promise me that you would deflate that ego of yours before coming back next term." She tried to keep her tone light and friendly, but James winced at the sharpness anyway.

"Do you really forgive me?"

"Yes. Surprisingly, I do forgive you."

"Thanks."

"It's okay. Now we should be going back." She said as she stood up. He stood up with her.

"Err.. Evans. Umm… I have an invisibility cloak.. Ugh.. Do you- do you want to share it to get back to the tower? I.. ugh.. I.. ugh… Don't want you to get caught, is all."

"Yeah okay." She said with a shrug. He sighed in relief as he threw the cloak on her shoulders. They began walking when she suddenly pulled him to stop.

"Wait, you dropped something." She said bending to pick it up. James panicked, this was Prongs' reply to Lily, he watched as she picked the rolled parchment up and turned to him, she did not read it, not even opened and returned it to him. He gave a sigh of relief, nodding his thanks before putting up the cloak on her shoulders again and walking away with her.

"Hey Evans."

"Hmm?"

"Does this mean that we are kind of-sort of friends?"

"Deflate your head first and then we will think about being kind of-sort of friends."

"What if I do deflate my head?"

"I will be your best friend."

"Sorry, I have Remus, Peter and Sirius. But what if I really do deflate my head?"

"I will readily be your friend. But where are you going with this Potter?"

"Well, if I deflate my head, there wouldn't be anything to dislike- OW! Merlin woman, I was just joking!"

"Yeah well! Deflate your head and then we will joke about everything else."

"You can't really blame a bloke for trying."

"OW! Bloody Hell Evans, stop stomping on my feet!"

"Then shut the hell up." She said with a laugh as they exited the Tower.

Severus Snape stepped out of the shadows; he had come up here to look at Lily. This was the closest he could get to her. He could tell that she was miserable. He wanted to go talk to her but he still didn't know what he would say to her. Maybe he would be able to think of something, once they were away from school. He had watched Lily intently; he had watched her with satisfaction as she told Potter off. But then, just like that she forgave Potter and walked away with him wrapped under his fancy, expensive invisibility cloak. Jealousy and anger gripped Severus' heart. She couldn't forgive him, her friend of 8 years for a mere slip of tongue, no, she broke all contact with him but she was ready to forgive Potter. She readily forgave Potter, the person who had tortured her for the past 5 years. She readily forgave Black, but she wouldn't forgive him, Severus, her best friend, the one person she claimed she couldn't do without. Now it dawned on Severus, even his Lily had flaws, even she had cracks. He felt betrayed, she had betrayed him and his love and trust in her by readily forgiving Potter but unlike her he would be the better man, he would forgive her, he would take her back and never think the worse of her because for him Lily was perfect.

 **AN: Really long chapter. I almost reached 3000 words, that's like 2 chapters for me. :P**

 **Anyway, I hope you enjoy it. Please do read and review. It is always good to hear from you. Also, share the story :P**

 **Anyway, Happy reading.**

 **Much love**

 **The fishes**

 **P.S.- You can always PM me if you have something to say but you would rather not put it in as a comment. I generally reply within 72 hours. Just saying. Okay, bye. Happy Reading once again.**


	15. Chapter 15

Lily sat by her trunk tapping her foot impatiently, Marlene should be here any minute and she just couldn't wait to get out of her house. The summer so far had been one horrible nightmare and now she hoped to spend the last two weeks of the holidays in peace. Her parents had to go back to work, so Lily was left alone at home to wait for her friends, but this was most peaceful she had been this summer. Petunia had finally married Vernon and Lily was the maid of honour but Petunia was as nice as a cranky cat. For some reason Petunia was convinced that Lily had cursed her to lose her baby, she was rather unpleasant with the idea that Lily had also saved her life. Her jabs about Lily being a freak were normal, but lately, before moving into Vernon's home, she kept asking about Severus. Lily sighed; Severus had tried to contact her once, when she was at the park. Lily had left immediately; to this day she couldn't understand the bizarre conversation she had with him.

 _Lily was sitting on one of the swings, her toe digging a hole in the ground. She had been here for some time; she needed time off to clear her head. A shadow sank on the swing next to hers, she didn't look up, she knew who he was._

 _"_ _Lily." Severus said quietly._

 _"_ _Severus."_

 _"_ _I would like to say something." Severus said, Lily was about to tell him that she didn't want to hear anything when he held his hand up and asked her to at let him finish what he was saying._

 _"_ _I am sorry. I shouldn't have called you that word. I never meant it and I understand that I betrayed you and it would take you some time to forgive me. But Lily, you betrayed me too and I want you to remember that I forgive you already, because you matter to me, much more than the pain you have caused me. I know you are stubborn and you would not forgive me easily but Lily, I just want to let you know that I will not be here forever. By the time you decide to forgive me, I might have moved on. You should think about what matters to you, my mistake or our relationship."_

 _Lily sat there, stunned into silence, trying to make sense of what just happened. "Err, what?" She asked flabbergasted. Severus gave her a weird look. "I mean, can you explain how I betrayed you? A betrayal I know nothing about and for which you have forgiven me so graciously." She added scathingly._

 _Severus stared at her aghast. "You don't even realize it, do you? That's rich, Lily. At least I know when, where and how I betrayed you." He said, his temper flaring._

 _"_ _Sev-"_

 _"_ _No! Don't you dare call me Sev! You- you- don't even realize how you betrayed me. Well let me give you a hint Lily. Last night of the term, Astronomy tower, does that ring a bell?" Lily's brows furrowed but before she could say anything Severus continued, now pacing agitatedly. "You- You forgave James Potter. For five years! FIVE YEARS! That bastard did nothing but torture me, did nothing but make my life miserable and you forgave him, just like that." He raved. "But me? Oh no! I make one mistake, one slip of tongue which was unintentional and you ended 8 years of friendship. Do I mean nothing to you Lily? I knew it, all those times you kept saying you hated Potter, I could see it in your eyes that you liked him. You are such a liar Lily, you are so manipulative and you blame me for manipulating you." He finished breathing heavily. Lily couldn't hide the hurt she felt, but her temper flared easily._

 _"_ _Severus Snape." She said with deathly calm. "You think forgiving Potter was betrayal? Potter hasn't been my friend for 8 years. Potter knows nothing about me, Potter and I fought as equals. He has had his fair share of hexes from me while I defended YOU. But despite all that, he had the decency to realize that he has been acting like a prat for all these years and I forgave him because he meant it. You! You don't even-" Lily stopped to take a deep breath. She got up from her seat and stood in front of him. "If that's what you think of me, so be it. I am not interested in explaining anything to you. You don't deserve it and you won't believe me. Goodbye Severus and Thank you." She said before turning on her heels and marching out of the park._

Lily broke out of her reverie when the doorbell rang; she sprang to her feet and ran out to open the door. On the other side of the door were a very haggard and upset Alice Prewett and Marlene McKinnon. "Alice! Marlene!" Lily exclaimed pulling them in a hug before noting the bags under their eyes. She quickly ushered them, "You guys look horrible. Is everything alright?" Lily asked as soon as they took their seats in her living room.

Alice shook her head, biting her lip as her eyes sparkled with tears. "Alice?" Lily asked, "Is everything alright?" Alice bowed her head, not saying anything.

"She is worried about Frank. His father contracted Dragon Pox at the end of our trip to Greece, along with both Mrs. Potters."

"Oh!" Lily said, "But it is curable, they will be fine."

Marlene shook her head. "Not at their age, no." She said. "We just got the news, James' Aunt Althea died last night, they are bringing her here tomorrow for her funeral. Frank's father doesn't look too good either nor does Mrs. Potter for that matter."

Lily sat back, feeling horrible. She couldn't even imagine losing her mother and Potter was on the verge of losing his. She didn't really know what to say or do in this situation. By this time Alice had already wiped her tears, as she stood up with a brave smile.

"Come on Lily, let's take you home. We can wallow in misery there." She said with a laugh, as she pulled Lily's trunk.

"Are you sure? I mean, I wouldn't want to intrude on anything, especially at such a time."

"Rubbish." Marlene said, pulling Lily's hand. "If I know anything about Sirius and James, meeting you would probably cheer them up. They have been absolute wrecks for the past week."

Lily had never been to Marlene's home and was awed by the vastness of it. Her home was more of a castle. Lily knew Marlene had two elder brother Damien and Charles and a younger brother Lukas. She had never met anyone apart from Lukas who would be entering his third year. The house looked empty on arrival. "Mum and dad are at work, what with Voldemort waging a war, the ministry cannot spare anyone. Damien and Charles must be at work too and Lukas is visiting a friend." Marlene said with a shrug, as the three girls made way to the guest room prepared for Lily.

The three girls talked about their summers, trying to get Alice's mind off from Frank. Lily told them about her last conversation with Severus. Alice was about to finish her monologue on what a ridiculous, idiot Severus was when someone knocked on the door.

A man in his early twenties stepped in, Lily knew this was one of Marlene's brothers, they had the same eyes and jaw line. "Hey Mars. Alice." He said nodding towards them, "And you must be the famous Lily Evans." He said extending his hand towards her. "I have heard so much about you. Damien McKinnon." Lily shook his hand.

"Now that we are done being charming." Marlene said, "What are you doing here, Damien?"

"What apart from welcoming our guest you mean?" Damien asked innocently, "Well, Remus is here. He says James and Sirius refuse to budge from Mrs. Potter's side and have stopped eating or sleeping. Mr. Potter is worried; they think you might be able to knock some sense into them."

Marlene and Alice jumped from their beds and ran out of the door with Lily and Damien on their heels. If Remus was surprised at seeing Lily he didn't say anything, he smiled at her and after a few quick words with Marlene, he jumped into the fireplace and was gone.

"Lils, have you ever travelled by the floo?" Marlene asked.

"No."

"Well, you will have to now. Just watch Alice and me and then come along. Damien would be right behind you."

"Marlene are you sure? Should I even come along?"

"Lily" Alice snapped. "Now is not the time to think about this. Sirius is your friend and the only person closest to his mother is really ill. He needs you."

Lily stepped into the green flames and choked on the smoke and ash, falling back out of the fireplace.

"Are you alright?" Damien asked he helped her up.

"Yes." She wheezed, coughing a little.

"Travelling through floo needs getting used to; you know what, let's go together. Just hold on to my arm okay?"

Lily nodded, holding her breath as she stepped in the fireplace beside Damien. The world spun in emerald green flames, making her feel sick and wobbly. She fell out of the fireplace into the softest rug she had ever seen. The room was big enough to fit half of her home and it was tastefully decorated. Damien gave her a hand and pulled her up before brushing the ash off his clothes.

He passed the brush to Lily, who quickly brushed the ash off her clothes before following Damien. The entrance hall they had stepped into was big enough to fit her little home and then some. Lily was surprised by Potter's humility, he was a prat alright, but he was proud of his talent, he never showed off his money, and right now, his home made Marlene's home look normal sized. Marlene was right when she told her that Potter was practically royalty in Magical Britain.

Damien led her through three flights of steps and stopped in front of large double doors, which were thrown open, on the right side of the staircase. He walked in while Lily hesitated at the door, she didn't want to intrude on anyone's privacy. Damien shook his head and pulled her in.

Lily was surprised to know that she was not in anyone's bedroom but rather in a large sitting room with bay windows and couches on either side, curtains fluttered around the cavity right in front of her and she could hear voices from inside. Damien stepped in while Lily stood on the verge, peeking in curiously.

Damien had bent down to kiss someone on the cheek, while Potter and Black were hovering over this person. Alice and Marlene were lounging casually around the bed on couches with Remus and Peter. When Damien moved, Lily gasped at the woman she was looking at. She had never really met or seen Mrs. Potter. But the woman even with ugly green boils on her face was exceptionally beautiful. She looked like a princess and her movements were so fluid, so graceful, even in her sickness she looked like a ballerina.

Everyone turned to look at her when she gasped loudly. Lily blushed. "Lily!" Sirius exclaimed, before running over to her and picking her up. "Its so good to see you!" He said setting her down, after he had twirled her around. Lily smiled at Sirius, she could see the strain in his eyes, despite his attempt at being light hearted. She looked over at Potter who was looking at the ground, and then her eyes slipped to Dorea Potter. The woman smiled at her and extended her hand, beckoning Lily to her. But before Lily could take a step towards her, Damien stepped in and held out a blood red potion for her.

"Here drink this. It will prevent you from contracting the pox."

After Lily had taken the potion, Lily moved towards Mrs. Potter, who smiled at her before patting on a seat near her.

"So, you are the famous Lily Evans?" She asked, her voice was stronger than Lily had expected for someone so delicate, Lily blushed in response. "I am Dorea Potter." She said, extending her hand to grasp Lily's "Mother of that arrogant toerag over there and Sirius, over here." She said with a mischievous grin.

"Ha. Ha. Mum. You are so funny." Potter muttered darkly as Sirius and the others laughed.

"Don't feel jealous, Jamie. It has been a known fact that Aunt Dorie loves me much more than she loves you." Sirius said cheekily.

"And me." Remus said with a lazy wave from his couch.

"Me too." Peter added with a grin.

"Well, I am her healer, she absolutely adores me." Damien added.

"And there is no doubt that she loves Alice and me, seeing that she preferred our company throughout the trip."

Dorea Potter laughed as James stuck his tongue out at everyone but soon she was overcome by a coughing fit. James and Sirius got into action, as James patted her back, Sirius rushed forward with a glass of water.

After the coughing fit had subsided, James rubbed her back soothingly.

"Mum!" He murmured softly, "I think that's enough for today, you should rest a little."

Dorea Potter gave him an annoyed look. "I am fine, Jamie."

"But Aunt Dorie, maybe you should-" Sirius quailed under the look Mrs. Potter gave him.

"Mum, seriously, just rest for a bit."

"James Potter. The last time I checked I was the mother in this relationship."

"You know he gets it from you." Lily said suddenly, and both the boys looked at her. She suddenly noticed that the others had already left the room already.

"He gets what from me dear?" Dorea Potter asked.

"Being the worse patient any healer could ever have. If he is awake you just cannot get him to rest." Lily said, her voice getting bolder with every word.

"Do you want to be a healer, my dear?"

"As a matter of fact, yes. I do. And I know that patients with Dragon Pox need plenty of rest. So, maybe you should listen to the two nutters here and get some rest." Lily didn't like speaking to anyone like this, but she had learnt through various internships at the children's ward in her community hospital, that difficult patients listen to you if you order them to. She was terrified of using this tone with Mrs. Potter, but she could see how exhausted, Mrs. Potter really was and how worried the two boys were.

The boys looked at Lily, with their mouths hanging open. No one, not even Charlus Potter had talked to Dorea Potter like this, ever. The two boys watched flabbergasted as Mrs. Potter settled in her bed. She held Lily's hand for a moment and said, "No wonder, the two nutters over there and the other two hanging by the door are afraid of your temper. Not even my mother has ever had the gall to tell me off. I am glad these four nutters have you, to keep them in line. If I ever had a daughter Lily, I would have wanted her to be like you. Just make sure they eat something" She said, patting Lily's hand before settling in.

Once she had fallen asleep, James walked out into the balcony. Lily looked at Sirius and narrowed her eyes, Sirius avoided her eye but could not mistake her determined stance, he frowned and called a house elf softly. After instructing the house elf to get some sandwiches and pumpkin juice, he followed James into the Balcony, leaving Lily to go join the others in the sitting room.

"Are they eating anything?" Remus asked as she reached them.

Lily nodded. "Sirius asked a house elf to bring some sandwiches for them."

Remus nodded. "I will go check on them." He said getting out of his seat.

"Me too." Peter muttered before walking away with Remus.

"Where are Damien and Alice?" Lily asked noticing for the first time that they were missing.

"Damien got called back to St. Mungo's. It's Frank's dad, he is recovering, but he is still too weak. Alice went with him." Marlene explained.

"Oh!" Lily said, "So, why are Sirius and Potter not eating anything?"

"His aunt died, last night Lily. Remember, we told you about it when we came to pick you."

"So, were they close? Potter and his aunt I mean."

"Yes. James adored Mrs. Potter and she adored him back. She was a magical historian you know, with the most amazing tales about ancient magic. You would have loved her. She was always so nice and warm to all of us. She was like a second mother to him."

"That must have been hard on him, losing her so suddenly."

Marlene nodded. They sat in silence for a while. "So, what do you want to do for today? We can go back and I can show you the library." Lily smiled before walking away with Marlene.

 **AN: Okay, I would admit, this is not my best work to date. I would go to the extent and say it is lousy, but I really couldn't think of anything more. This kind of is the basis for a lot of the story in the next chapters.**

 **Anyway, I will leave the reviewing bit to you. Please read and review and if you are new here, don't forget to favourite and follow the fic.**

 **Happy Reading.**

 **Much love,**

 **The fishes**


	16. Chapter 16

Later that night as Lily made her way to bed, she found a familiar looking owl sitting on the window. It hopped towards her and stuck it's leg out.

"Hello!" Lily whispered, "You look awfully familiar, have we met before?"

The owl hooted softly, before taking off into the night. Lily unfolded the letter, it was from Sirius.

 _Dear Flower- power,_

 _It was great to see you here. Gave Jamesie some hope it did, ah! The healing power of love! Dumbledore could write a musical about-_

 ** _Enough Sirius! Dear Lily, What Sirius really wants to say is that It did both James and Sirius some good to see you today and we that is Sirius, Peter and I think it would be good for all of us if you could come for the funeral tomorrow. It's your choice; you don't have to come-_**

 _But we are really begging you to come. Please do come. Please! I knew you wouldn't say no to this deviously handsome face. See you tomorrow! Okay?_

 _Goodnight!_

 _Love_

 _Sirius & _**_Remus_**

 ** _P.S.: Don't listen to him, he is being a prat. Come if you want to, we would however be happy to see you._**

 _I am not being a prat. And Lily will come. We will see you tomorrow Lils._

 ** _Would you two maniacs just send the letter already? James is coming._**

 _Bloody hell, Remus! Little Peter is such a sneaky charmer, putting in messages through a spell from across the room._

 ** _But he is right, I can hear James coming!_**

 _You heard the man Lils. James is coming. Gotta go! Love you._

Lily bit her lip as she finished the letter, she did not really know James well, but the boys insisted that she should come attend the funeral of a woman she had never met. She didn't know, what to do, what would she say to anyone. She got out of bed and tiptoed to Marlene's room. Lily knocked, she could hear voices from inside the room, Marlene opened the door to reveal Damien and another young man that Lily assumed was Charles.

"Lily?" Marlene asked surprised. "Hey, come in. Is everything alright? Do you need something?"

"Not really. No. I hope I am not disturbing anything, I just wanted your advice on something."

"Oh no!" Charles said, "You were not disturbing anything, we were just chatting. Charles Mckinnon." He said extending his hand, Lily took it graciously and smiled.

"Hey come here Lily, sit." Damien said, getting up from Marlene's bed. "We would leave you girls alone. Good night, Lily, little sis."

Marlene shut the door after he brothers and turned to look at Lily, who held up the letter from the boys for Marlene. Marlene frowned as she read through the letter and looked at Lily with a sad smile.

"He is trying really hard." She said finally.

"Potter?" Lily asked.

"No, Sirius. He is trying really hard to stay cheerful for everyone, but it's not the same, he doesn't know how to deal with this."

"Oh! But what should I do? Should I come to the funeral?"

Marlene stared out her window for a long moment before nodding to herself.

"I think you should. I think Sirius needs you more."

"Why do you think so?"

Marlene looked at Lily and smiled. "I have known him since he was 11. Generally, all pureblood kids know each other but the Blacks have always locked away their kids. From what I do know of him, it's very difficult for him to accept himself as a part of the Potter family or household. He loves all of them with his heart, but he feels a familial tie with only Mrs. and Mr. Potter and James. That's how he has always been; he has always seen himself as an outsider. But with you, he sees you like the sibling he needed; he sees you as family. And he needs you tomorrow to help deal with this sense of loss he feels; he also needs you to keep him sane enough to help James. And of course! James really does need you."

Lily nodded. "Okay, for Sirius, I guess but I don't have any appropriate dresses."

Marlene waved her hand dismissively. "Borrow one of mine. Now off you go. Mum and Dad would drag us early to the Potters tomorrow."

Lily, almost fell again, but this time because she had side alonged for the first time. An amused Lukas caught her, before smirking at her glare and walking away. They were standing outside a massive gothic church. Lily walked alongside Marlene, but as they entered the church, Lily noticed that there were no symbols of Christianity along the panels of the church.

"Marlene." Lily said nudging Marlene lightly, "What is this place?"

"The old church at Eagle's Nest." Marlene whispered back, "It was taken over by Wizards a few centuries ago; they got rid of the priests and everything. Muggles think it's a condemned building. Wizards who live here in the village, now use it for their own ceremonies. The Potter family has been buried here for centuries, some however, do get buried at Godric's Hollow which is nearby, depends on the Potter really."

"Oh!" Lily answered, looking around in curiosity.

She knew that Potters were practically royalty but she did not know that more than half the wizarding world would turn up to pay their last respects to Althea Potter. As they walked ahead Lily could hear snatches of conversations.

"Such a gifted magical historian-"

"-Bertha said in a couple of years Althea would have-"

"- Now, dear, make sure you look forlorn, Perseus is a little vulnerable at the moment-"

"Is that Dorea Potter? Wow, one good hex-"

"I think maybe we should wait till she dies, James is a better-"

"-You think any of the Potter boys, even Black would be devastated enough to make it easy?"

Marlene swore under her breath. "Really?" She said angrily as they joined Alice and Frank. "Percy's mother just died! James and Percy _are_ devastated and all these little idiots could think of is marriage with a Potter."

"Hey! It's a sad reality." Frank said evenly, "More than half of them are here to gain something. And everyone with a daughter is hoping for a grief induced romance. Good, pureblood housewives after all feel their husband's pain acutely." He said bitterly.

"Let's just make sure the fools stay away from the family." Alice said firmly. "One of us should always be there with Percy or James. I will go tell Fabian and Gideon."

"I will go tell Damien, Charles and Lukas to keep an eye out for opportunists." Marlene said walking away.

"I should go stay with my Uncles and Mum. You would be fine by yourself?" Frank asked.

"I will be fine. I think I will find Sirius and Remus and talk to them about this, they would make sure Potter isn't alone." Lily replied.

Frank nodded. "Sirius is with Aunt Dorea, you will find the others around her too. She is in the waiting room, just go through the door on the left, the first door on your right is hers."

Lily nodded before following Frank's instructions, Remus answered the door.

"Lily!" Remus exclaimed, pulling her in a hug. "Its good to see you. Thank you for coming."

"Glad to be of help." Lily said with a small smile, "Now listen, there are a lot of women out there who are hoping that Potter, his cousin or Sirius would be devastated enough to fall in love with them. Make sure, all three are not left alone even for a moment."

Remus nodded. "Who is it Remus?" A voice asked from inside.

"Oh! Where are my manners? Come on in Lily." Remus said.

"No." Lily said stepping back. "I just wanted to say this. I wouldn't want to intrude."

But before Remus could reply, a boy came over to Remus's side and opened the door wider. Lily was shocked at the resemblance, this boy was an exact copy of Potter but he was a little taller than Potter, had blue eyes and was not wearing glasses.

He looked at Lily, his curiosity giving way to surprise which ultimately gave way to a warm smile. He stepped out and held his hand out for her. "Perseus Potter." He said with a small smile, "You must be Lily Evans. I have heard so much about you. I am sorry we meet under such unfortunate circumstances."

Lily shook his hand gingerly, and before she knew it she was pulled into the room. Dorea Potter was lying on a settee and running a hand on James' hair who knelt beside her, his head buried in his hands. Sirius was looking out of the window, his jaw set. Remus was talking quietly to a young woman with shockingly violet eyes. The woman looked at Lily and flashed a smile in her direction, before going back to her conversation with Remus, Percy had joined them and she held Percy's hand firmly.

Lily walked over to Sirius. He flashed a small smile in acknowledgment before going back to stare at the window. Lily was about to say something when a man with messy brown hair and stormy grey eyes entered and announced that they were ready. They helped Dorea in a wheelchair and soon everyone was out on the grounds for the burial of Althea Potter.

After the burial, James and Percy ushered Dorea Potter home in a rush. The graveyard emptied pretty soon after that, but Lily was attracted to the church. It looked peaceful, it made her feel calm. She told Marlene and her family to leave her behind; she promised she would use the floo from the apothecary nearby and come home soon.

Lily sat on the stairs to the graveyard and watched Anthony Potter who was the man with the messy brown hair and stormy grey eyes; leave. She sighed and stared at the new resting place of Althea Potter. Sirius came and sat next to her quietly.

"You didn't leave?" Lily asked.

"Neither did you." He replied.

"I- This place is peaceful." Lily said with a sigh.

Sirius smirked, "Of course. Is that the only reason for you to stay here?"

"No. I am thinking about Prongs."

"The Marauder?"

"Yes."

"Why are you thinking about him?"

"I wish I could write to him about all this. But he hasn't contacted me all summer! Maybe he doesn't want to talk anymore."

"Or maybe he is not in a position to talk right now." Sirius said nudging her shoulder.

"Yeah. Maybe." Lily said with a sigh.

"Thank you."

Lily looked at Sirius quizzically.

"For coming. James has been a mess since he saw her this morning, Aunt Dorie, well they loved each other like sisters and Percy, he has been coping better than we thought."

Lily nodded and started as she felt a shadow move near the graves.

James Potter stood by his aunt's last resting place. Slowly, he squatted down near her and started talking. Lily couldn't hear what he was saying, but she had never seen him look so vulnerable, so broken. He was not the cocky, arrogant prick, but a young boy who had lost someone precious. Soon, he was joined by Percy. The two boys sat together talking to each other for a long time.

Lily and Sirius kept watching the two Potters interact.

"Loss is a funny thing." Sirius said suddenly, "Sometimes, it drives people apart, sometimes it brings them close."

"It depends on the way we heal, doesn't it? My gran used to say, 'a family that heals together, stays together." Lily replied.

"So, I guess you are my family then. We are healing together, with the help of each other." Sirius said swinging his arm around Lily's shoulder.

"Yes. Thank you for the chocolates you sent over the summer. Helped deal with Severus' betrayal and gain a few pounds of fat."

"Meh! What do you care about fat?" Sirius asked with a smirk, "James wouldn't care even if you had a third eye and webbed feet."

Lily smacked Sirius' shoulder and laughed.

"I am not lying." Sirius said solemnly, Lily rolled her eyes. "Ask James."

"Ask me what?" Lily and Sirius jumped when they realized that Percy and James were standing in front of them.

"Nothing." Lily said blushing, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear.

"Do you think Lily is fat?" Sirius asked.

"Sirius!" Lily protested.

"I don't think so. But I wouldn't know what constitutes fat these days, those fashion magazines have crazy size standards." James said.

"And anyway, beauty is a social construct and is culture specific." Percy added.

"Say what you may, Perce. I am gorgeous in every culture." Sirius said with a grin.

"Wow! You are so humble, Sirius." Percy replied dryly, "Now come on, let's get home. Would you like to join us Lily? I believe the McKinnons would be joining us for dinner. Stay with us till then."

"Okay, sure."

Percy nodded before conjuring a Patronus, a bald eagle and sending it away with his message.

"You know how to conjure a patronus? And you can send a message through it? That's really advanced magic!" Lily exclaimed, awed, as she watched the eagle fly away.

James rolled his eyes, "All of us can produce a Patronus. Although, we are having trouble using it to send messages, somehow, it could be apprehended easily."

Lily watched on awed, as Percy explained the importance of thinking about the receiver clearly. Sirius jogged ahead to ask him about something and Lily suddenly was walking next to Potter.

"You could produce a corporeal patronus?" Lily asked softly.

Potter blushed and rubbed his neck. "Yes."

"That is really advanced magic."

"Both my parents are Aurors. I had to learn about all this from a younger age, we were always under some kind of threat."

"Are all Aurors threatened?"

"Not all. My parents are very vocal against Voldemort and his ideas. It doesn't sit well with the exclusive 28."

"Exclusive 28?"

"Well, they are purebloods and believe that they alone carry proper wizarding pride. My family has always supported muggles and muggleborns, even married a few of them, so we have been kept out of the exclusive 28."

"But aren't you wizarding royalty?"

Potter laughed, "All of these 28 families are. Doesn't really matter. It's just that, since Potters are as old as the Blacks, we have a lot of political goodwill and old money."

"Oh! I have never heard you brag about your money and connections."

Potter shrugged. "I didn't do anything, I inherited them. The only thing I am proud of is my ability to learn magic quickly."

Lily nodded. "I am sorry for your loss. I heard she was a very gifted witch."

James nodded. "She was, knew a lot of ancient magic. Percy knows a lot too. But that's not why I miss her. She was a great human being. So full of love and positivity; she taught me to look at the brighter side of everything. She taught me that the world might be treacherous but we have to value friendship and loyalty. She-" He stopped abruptly.

Lily held his hand instinctively, "She sounds like a wonderful person."

James nodded his grip tightening around her hand. "It doesn't hurt that she is gone." He said slowly, "I am glad she is not suffering anymore, its just that she would not be there for a lot of important moments in my life. You know she always told mum that she would be the most excited person on the day of my graduation from Auror academy, or that she would give the something borrowed to my wife on our wedding. She would name my kids… Now, she won't be there for any of this." He said choking.

"She would be. In her own way, she would find a way to be there for all your big and small moments. My Nana always said, that she would find a way to be there for us in our times of need from beyond the grave. Sometimes when I am upset about something, I can almost feel her around me."

"You think, Aunt Thea would be around us too?"

"Yeah. As long as you love and remember her, she would not really be gone from your life."

James smiled and let go off her hand before he pulled her in a side hug. "Thank you Evans. That means a lot."

"Anytime, Potter."

 **AN: I am SO sorry for not updating sooner. I was suffering from a block and my work life caught up with me. But here is another chapter! I don't really know why I wrote it though. Maybe to create a kind of-sort of functional relationship. Anyway, there would be another chapter on some summer fluff between Lily and James and how she bonds with his family. And then we would be back to school.**

 **Now, has anyone read the Cursed Child script book? It is fanfiction, and I have read better ones at that, someone should have introduced Kurinoone- Darkness within series to these people.**

 **Anyway, Please do read and review! I would love to hear your opinion.**

 **Happy reading.**

 **Much love,**

 **The fishes.**


	17. Chapter 17

Lily patrolled the corridors lost in thought. The last two weeks had shaken the foundations of her knowledge of James Potter. He was a completely different person at home, someone she could grow to like and be friends with. It was this knowledge of him that floored her. She liked his company; she liked his antics and his ability to cheer people up. She liked his devotion to his family and his friends, the way he stood by them through it all. He opened his doors for Sirius without even thinking twice about it. He wouldn't be so bad now, would he?

"Are you nuts, Prongs?" A muffled voice floated over to her, startled she looked at the compartment from where the voice came. The blinds to this compartment were drawn. Lily was tempted to walk into the compartment and confront Prongs for not writing to her all summer, but she was afraid of finding his identity. She didn't know if she wanted to know who Prongs really was, but she still edged towards the compartment door.

"Keep your voice down, Padfoot." Another muffled voice added sharply.

"Sorry. But you have to agree, Wormtail; Prongs has lost it."

"I have lost nothing. I shouldn't have done in the first place. It was wrong of me to manipulate her; I am not going to let mum pay for my mistakes. I will tell Lily about everything."

Lily's ears perked up but her heart hammered inside her chest. Was Prongs planning on revealing himself to her?

"If you tell her everything, you would be exposing us too?"

"Wormtail!" Someone inside the compartment snapped, "Do you really think Lily would tell on us? Don't you know her?"

Someone mumbled something, Lily inched closer. "That's not what this is about. Prongs here is in love with Lily, aren't you? This isn't just about fancying her. You are actually in love with her."

There was a long pause, Lily gripped the frame of the door. "Your point being?"

"You won't be able to that. She would hate you once she finds out. Whatever hoo-hah philosophy you have imbibed about symbolic sacrifices, you won't be able to live with her hate, not when you know that you could be something more."

"Why do you have to make it difficult for me? I am not doing this for anyone else. By manipulating her like this, I am taking away her choice to fall for who I am. I don't want her to choose Prongs just because he and I are the same person. I want her to choose me."

"I am confused."

Someone laughed a bark like laughter, "Of course you are Wormtail! This boy doesn't make sense on his best days."

Lily was so engrossed in listening to the conversation that she didn't pay attention to the boy standing behind her till he tapped her shoulder. She shrieked before turning to face him.

"Remus!" She exclaimed, in a high pitch voice. "You scared me."

"My apologies." Remus said sincerely, "But what are you doing here? We got over our patrol schedule ten minutes ago."

"I was-" Lily was cut off from her explanation when the door behind her was thrown open and Sirius stepped out.

"Remus! Just the man I wanted to see. You need to get in there and talk to James, he has gone goofy again."

Lily's eyes widened, Sirius was a marauder which meant that Prongs was in there too, but which one of them was Prongs?

Lily looked at Remus again, who had a neutral expression in his face but he had communicated something to Sirius because Sirius wore the same expressionless mask. Sirius stepped aside to let Remus pass before giving her a long look. Lily blushed under his scrutiny.

"I will see you around." She muttered quickly before turning to walk away.

"Not so fast, Evans." Sirius said quietly, catching hold of Lily's arm. He dragged her along to the next compartment and scared out the inhabitants by giving them a dark look before stepping back to let Lily in.

"Okay, _silencio."_ He said pointing his wand at the door, "How much of it did you hear?"

Lily gave him a disapproving look, "You know we are not allowed to do magic!"

Sirius waved his hand, as if to dismiss her argument, "Have I ever cared about rules? Anyway, don't divert. How much did you hear?"

Lily folded her arms across her chest, "Enough."

"So, the cat is out of the bag." Sirius said with a careless shrug, "Now, I know you don't support this but can you please not tell anyone about us?"

"Why would I do that?"

"We would like to come out of the closet with a bang. Also, because McGonagall would hand us detention for the entire year."

"Okay." Lily shrugged.

"Great! I knew I liked you for a reason." Sirius said with a wide grin.

"Not so fast, Sirius." Lily said sharply, "I don't know who Prongs is."

"Really, you can't put two and two together. You are supposed to be smart. Didn't you get straight O's in OWLs?"

Lily fell back on her seat as if electrocuted. " _Him?"_ She asked flabbergasted.

Sirius said nothing. He gave her a look and left the compartment. Lily's head was reeling.

"Lily?" Potter's voice asked apprehensively as he stepped into the compartment.

 _"_ _You."_ She gasped, he said nothing, just stared at her bracing himself. She stood up unsteadily on her feet and fell into his arms hitting his chest. "YOU!" she screeched.

"You knew. All those letters I wrote to you, you knew about everything." She cried tears falling down her eyes. "You knew about how strongly I felt for Severus. You knew how special he was to me and you still attacked him! Why? I trusted you. I trusted your judgment and advice. I- I- I didn't even think that Prongs- that you- Lies. You lied to me. Everything was a lie."

James held her by her arms and forced her to look at him, "None of it was a lie. I didn't lie to you about my feelings. I didn't lie to you about anything other than the fact that I was Prongs."

Lily freed herself from his grip. "How do I know you didn't lie to me all the time? You are just the same. You knew everything about me. You knew everyone that mattered to me. You promised you cared about me but you didn't. You never did." Lily said backing away from him.

James took a step forward, "You know that is not true, Lily. I have only always cared about you. Please calm down and think about it. I did not betray you. I never meant for you to find out like this. I never wanted to hurt you. Please. You have to believe-" _SMACK_

Lily withdrew her hand and covered her mouth in shock. No matter how much she hated someone, she would never raise her hand against them. James looked at her, hurt and heartbreak evident in his eyes.

"Lily." He said softly, taking a step towards her.

"Stay away from me Potter. You have done enough." Lily said thickly before running away from him.

* * *

James sat in the centre of the Quidditch pitch, with the rain beating down his back. All through the feast he had tried to catch Lily's eye. He had tried to tell her that he was sorry but she had studiously ignored him. He might as well give credit to fate, he had wanted her to know because he felt he deserved some punishment for lying to a loved one and fate handed him his wish on a silver platter.

"You planning to drown yourself here?" Sirius asked, squatting down next to him.

"What are the three of you doing down here, after lights out?" James asked.

"You didn't return to the compartment on the train." Remus said, squatting down in front of him, "You were so silent throughout the feast and then you disappeared. We were worried."

"You shouldn't be. I just came out for a fly, to clear my head."

"In this weather?" Peter asked, sitting down on James' other side.

"So, James what's new apart from the fact that Lily has gone back to hating your guts?" Sirius asked.

"Way to be subtle Padfoot." Remus said, punching his shoulder. "But honestly, James what did you expect?"

"That she would think it through calmly." James said dejectedly.

"That she will by morning." Peter said, "But you both have such huge egos, I don't know when she will keep her pride aside and apologize."

"What if I go ahead and apologize tomorrow?"

"You should actually." Remus said, "But if she doesn't forgive you right away, leave her alone."

"Yeah." Sirius said nodding, "There are other fish in the sea. I think now would the right time for you to move on from her."

"You really think I want to move on from her?" James asked incredulously.

"James," Remus said with a sigh, "It would do you good to look at other girls. If she doesn't want to be with you, we can't force her to."

"I know that." James countered, "But I can't look at anyone else either. Its either Lily or no one for me."

"Ah! My love struck Romeo." Sirius said clasping a hand on his chest. "Cheer up. She will come around eventually."

"You think so?" James asked his eyes hopeful.

"If you are meant to be, you will find your way back to each other." Remus said sincerely.

"Moony!" Sirius exclaimed, "I didn't know you were such a hopeless romantic yourself. You sly dog!"

"Come on James. Let's get out of here. Its freezing out here and pneumonia won't bring Lily to you." Peter said, his teeth chattering.

James half smiled at his friends, "For good measure." Remus added, "I will let all of you share my bar of Honeyduke's best chocolate. I think we deserve it with our respective setbacks this summer."

"Yeah?" Peter asked, "What was your great set back this summer?"

"I got straight O's in all my OWLs apart from History of Magic." Remus said with a deadpan expression, "I didn't expect that."

The other three Marauders howled with laughter, "Bet McGonagall had a mini heart attack when she saw my result." Sirius said gleefully.

James groaned, "Oh! Don't remind me, the prat scored straight Os in everything including History of Magic. Mum went mental."

"Speak for yourself." Sirius said shoving James, "You scored just as much. Aunt Dorie went crazy, she wanted to throw a party for all of us."

"Well, she can throw a party after I make it to the Auror department." James said quietly.

"Yeah. Hey, have we decided what subjects we want to take for the next two years?" Sirius asked.

"Since when have you started worrying about picking subjects carefully?" Remus asked amused.

"I don't really but this Voldemort character is spooking me. I think I would apply for the Auror academy too."

"You need to be incredibly brave and smart to become an Auror." Peter yapped happily, "I think I will take up care of magical creatures, I want to really get into the department of Regulation and Control of Magical Creatures. Maybe there I would be able to contribute positively to the werewolf situation."

The other three marauders turned to stare at Peter. Peter faltered, "Did I say something wrong?" He asked self consciously.

"That was really thoughtful of you Peter." Remus said, pulling Peter in a hug. "Thank you."

Sirius whistled, "Way to go Wormtail." He said ruffling the shorter boy's hair.

"Yeah!" James agreed.

"So, boys." Sirius said as he started to jog, "The one to reach last, gets the smallest portion of the chocolate bar."

"Oh no you don't" James and Remus shouted, chasing after Sirius, Peter ran after them.

Lily stood by the window in her dormitory and watched the four boys run. She ran down the stairs to the common room with the box containing Prongs' letters in her hands. She was already seated on one of the armchairs, as the four breathless boys clambered in, laughing madly. They stopped short at the sight of her.

"Potter." Lily said simply.

"Li-Evans." Potter replied.

"Err… We are just going to go." Remus said awkwardly, pushing Sirius and Peter to the dorm.

( _"But I wanna watch!"_ Sirius whined _. "Does this mean he gets the smallest bit?"_ Peter asked. Remus smacked them both upside on their heads before ushering them to their dormitories."

"Err… Sorry about that." James said scuffing the carpet nervously.

"It's okay. I just wanted to give you these." She said handing him the box. "It contains all the letters you ever sent me. I don't want the letter I wrote to you in return, you could whatever you want with them."

"Evans! Please. You don't have to do this. I am sorry. I never meant for you to get hurt." James pleaded with her.

"But I did get hurt. Didn't I?" Lily said softly turning to leave.

James stepped in her way. "Don't do this, please. Listen to your heart, Lily. You know my feelings for you are not lies. You know I would do anything for you."

"Then do this for me. Leave me alone." Lily snapped.

James stepped back and she ran up the stairs without looking back.

"Evans." James called, she turned.

"Will you ever forgive me?"

"I don't know." She said watching his shoulders droop before running up the stairs to her bed.

James threw the box of letters across the room as he fell to his knees; it cracked against the wall, its contents spilling everywhere.

Sirius silently mended the box and returned its contents to it, as Remus went ahead and picked up their broken friend to usher him to their dormitory.

 **AN: You know what to do. Read and Review. And if you are new here and would like to know more, please favourite/follow this fic or me or both.**

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 **Much love**

 **The fishes**


	18. Chapter 18

Lily looked at James, her frustration seeping through her veins. All these years all she wanted him to do was not pay any attention to her and he happily ignored her requests. Now, she wanted him to ignore her request but he chose to abide by it and leave her alone. She stabbed her eggs moodily as Alice and Marlene chattered on about the test they had later in the day.

"I see you are sending death glares at James again." Mary whispered nudging Lily to catch her attention. "Seriously, what is it with you two? You were mad at him because he didn't leave you alone. Now you are mad at him because he is leaving you alone."

"Yeah. You never told us, what really happened between the two of you?" Marlene asked.

"Its been months Lily, you said you needed time in September." Alice said, "It's November now, you can't keep it all bottled in. Tell us what happened, maybe we could help."

"It's nothing really." Glaring at James again, "I just- I don't know. I am glad that he is leaving me alone but I kind of miss his antics. Does that even make sense?"

"Ah!" Sirius said, leaning over Lily to grab a scone. "I see you are staring at my Jamie boy again. Admit it Evans you miss him."

"I don't miss him." Lily replied stubbornly. "I don't want to be anywhere near him."

"Well, good. He will keep his distance. He has other distractions now." Sirius said cheerfully looking over at James who was talking animatedly to Amelia Bones.

"James and Amelia?" Mary asked incredulously.

"Oh! That's great!" Alice squealed.

Marlene rolled her eyes muttering "Amateurs" under her breath. Sirius caught her eye and flashed a charming smile before training his eyes on Lily who looked like she would readily hex Amelia. But before Lily could explode a tawny owl landed next to her with a letter sealed with the Ministry's crest.

"That's a ministry owl." Remus pointed out as he came over to greet the girls.

"Why would the Ministry send me a letter?" Lily asked breaking the seal on the letter but before she could open it, both Marlene and Sirius caught her wrist.

"Trust me Lily," Marlene said solemnly. "You don't want to read this letter in the Great Hall."

"Why not?" Lily asked confused.

"It's a purple seal Lily." Alice said gravely, "Please just listen to us for once. Let's go back to the common room."

Alice urgently tugged Lily to her feet and the others followed the two girls to the common room.

"Okay!" Lily said stretching her hand out, "We are in the common room. May I have my letter back?"

"You might want to sit down first." Sirius said. "Now, remember. No matter what this letter says, we are all here for you, okay?"

"What is this all about?" Lily asked, half irritated. "Alice just give me the letter. I know I did nothing wrong, there must be some misunderstanding at the Ministry."

Alice hesitantly gave the letter to Lily and looked away. Before Lily could read the first line, the common room door burst open and Professor McGonagall clambered in. "Ah! Miss Evans." Professor McGonagall said gravely, "I have been looking for you all over. Please come with me, the headmaster would like to speak with you."

"What is it, Professor?" Lily asked anxiously, "I received a letter from the ministry a few minutes ago. Did I do something wrong?"

"No, Miss Evans. You have done nothing wrong. Please come to the headmaster's office with me. He will explain everything to you."

* * *

"They are dead." Lily said quietly, as Remus sat next to her in the astronomy tower. "They are dead and I didn't even get a chance to say goodbye."

He said nothing as he pulled her in his arms. Lily broke down and wept.

"I will never get a letter from them. Mum will never bake a cake for my birthday and Dad-"

"I know." Remus whispered, resting his cheek on her head.

"I wasn't home enough. I didn't spend time with them. Why did I-How could I believe that they would be there forever? I took them for granted. I couldn't even tell them that I love them. I don't know how to live without them. I don't know if I can survive without them."

He didn't say anything holding on to her instead as she cried on his shoulder. Later when Lily was exhausted with her tears they laid back and looked at the stars.

"Mum told me once that when people die, they become stars." Lily said quietly, "Do you think my mum and dad are up there, watching over me?"

"Do you think they are watching over you?" Remus asked.

"Yes. Look that's mum," Lily said pointing to a star. "And that's dad. Right over there. Do you see them?"

"Yes."

"I never told you about my parents, did I?" Lily asked.

"You mentioned them here and there."

"That's not enough. You should know about them too, you know about everyone else. Would you like to know about them?"

"Only if you want to talk to me about them."

"When I was little, we would go to this lake during the summer to camp out. Mum and I would stargaze while Dad and Petunia ran around trying to catch fireflies." Lily said between sobs. "I used to love helping dad in the garage. He was my driving teacher. I did pretty well this summer."

"Dad hates you though. I told them about your gang. He still hates you but that's all because of Sev." Lily stopped abruptly, she missed Severus. Her parents had almost adopted him too, she wondered if he knew about their deaths or the fact that Death Eaters killed them.

"You never got a chance to meet my parents!" She exclaimed suddenly, "You would have loved them. Though dad would have tried to threaten you with his gun but he is a real softie. He-" Lily stopped, sitting bolt upright.

"Oh my God!" She exclaimed horrified.

"What is it?" Remus asked alarmed.

"I missed the test today!" Lily wailed.

"What?"

"I-I- I missed the Charms test today. I am a horrible person. My parents just died and I am worrying about a stupid school test. Am I incapable of love? This must show you that I can't even love my parents! Petunia was right! I am just a selfish _freak!_ That's why they left me. That's why they were killed, to punish a freak like me."

"Hey." Remus said loudly, shaking Lily a little. "You are not a freak and this isn't your fault!"

"Then why are they dead?" Lily wailed in anguish. Remus couldn't say anything; he just wrapped his arms around her. They stayed that way till Lily started shivering.

"Lily?"

"Yeah?"

"Do you think, maybe we could-uh-we could- ugh- you know go inside? Its freezing out here and I don't want you to be sick."

"There are people inside. I don't want to face them."

"Not right now. It's past 1:00 a.m. and we will all be there tomorrow morning. When is the funeral?"

"Next Monday, I am leaving for home day after tomorrow. Will you be allowed to come?"

"We will talk to Professor McGonagall about that. Okay?"

Lily snuggled into him and nodded.

"Lily?" Remus said after a few minutes.

"Yes."

"Can we please go? Its freezing out here."

Lily let out a short laugh before standing up and pulling him up beside her. Three young boys watched Remus and Lily walk away.

"I hate this!" Sirius said angrily as he stepped out of the invisibility cloak.

"I know, you do." James said, folding the cloak. "But keep your voice down. We don't want her to come back."

"I wish we could do something about it." Sirius said settling down on the parapet.

"I know."

"Is your dad alright?"

"Yeah. He is fine. He found them- he found Lily's parents."

"Oh?"

"They will not release these details but every muggle they found was tortured; at least for hours before they were killed, including her parents."

"How bad?"

"I don't know. All I know is that this is the first attack of such a large scale, more will follow. Voldemort will not stop till the ministry bows to his will."

"But why such a small town like Cokeworth? Won't they make a statement by attacking people in London?"

James shrugged, "Maybe because no one was really expecting them to attack a small insignificant town. Maybe they are making a statement."

"Do you think we would be able to kill them?" Sirius asked looking at the stars.

"Who?"

"The Death Eaters. Do you think we would be able to kill them in a fight?"

"I don't know. I don't want to kill anyone, no matter how much they deserve to die."

"Do you think he would be like the other Death Eaters?" Sirius asked timidly.

"I don't know, Sirius. He is still a student here, but from what I have seen of him, I don't think Regulus would be like them." James said softly.

Sirius nodded.

"Do you want to go back inside?" James asked.

"I can't." Sirius said, unshed tears sparkling in his eyes.

"It's not your fault, Sirius." James said gently.

"But that's my family out there. We know Bellatrix was at the scene and my parents are proud of her. How can I face Lily with that knowledge?"

"You forget Padfoot. She is my cousin too and I will still go back to comfort Lily because I am not like Bellatrix and neither are you." James stood up and stretched his hand out to Sirius, "Come on. Lily needs you right now."

Sirius dabbed the corner of his eyes, before taking James' hand.

Severus Snape watched his arch enemies before looking at the letters crushed in his fist. The first letter was from Lucius Malfoy, gleefully recounting the adventures of the night before. Claiming credit for ensuring that Severus' useless muggle father was killed along with twenty other worthless muggles, they had kidnapped at the grocery store. The second letter was from his mother informing him of his father's untimely demise, along with the deaths of Richard and Rose Evans, begging him to come home for the funeral.

For the first time in his young life, Severus Snape wondered if he had made the right choice. He rubbed his left forearm softly, as the dark mark on his skin tingled unpleasantly in his moment of doubt. He settled in the darkest corner of the chilly room and allowed himself to weep for the couple that had shown him nothing but kindness. He knew why the Death Eaters had attacked Cokeworth, he knew it was because of him, because of his description of the forgotten industrial town. He knew as soon as Lucius' letter claimed it, that the town was chosen to increase the burden of debt on Severus. It was chosen to seal his servitude to the dark lord. Severus in his haste had agreed to the plan, naively believing that they would get rid of his worthless father only.

As he stared at the spot where Lily had wept sometime ago, the enormity of his servitude dawned on him. He still firmly believed that the Dark Lord would disapprove of the mindless murder of anyone. The Dark Lord always killed to send across a message. Each death had a purpose, but he didn't think, his fellow Death Eaters understood the Dark Lord's code of conduct. He shuddered at the thought of the Dark Lord's retribution. He did not forgive mistakes easily. Severus wiped his eyes. He just needed to talk to Lily, he knew she would understand. He was confident that she would forgive him, he was not at fault here, he had only wished the death of his father, he couldn't control Bellatrix or Theodus from killing so many people. She would have to understand that the Dark Lord would never approve of such mindless killing, she would forgive him. She had to forgive him.

* * *

James and Sirius were greeted with a flurry of activity as they entered their dormitory.

"What is happening here?" James asked Alice as she gracefully landed a mattress on the floor.

"Sleepover." Alice said with a smile.

"Why?" Sirius asked, settling on his bed.

"Because," Marlene's voice floated from under Remus' bed. "Lily is going through a very difficult phase and she needs all of us. Also, Remus insisted on not leaving her alone tonight. Seriously, do you ever clean your bed Sirius?" She asked rolling out on the floor.

"That's Remus' bed." Peter said from a corner.

"What?" Alice and Marlene yelped in unison.

Sirius smirked, "Yes, well Remus is not as proper as you believe him to be. This is my bed." He said patting the mattress on the neatly made bed.

"No don't touch that!" James said, catching hold of Marlene's hand which hovered over the junk near Remus' pillow. "Remus hates it when someone touches his bed. Do you want to die?"

"Speaking of Remus, where is he?" Sirius asked.

"He is down in the kitchens with Lily and Mary. They are getting junk food, we are going to stay up and talk." Peter said wearily.

"But what if Lily is too tired and wishes to sleep?" James asked anxiously.

"Then she can sleep. The junk is to keep us awake. One of us must be up at all times, in case she needs to talk to someone." Marlene said.

"You think she would want to talk to us?" James asked incredulously.

"No." Alice said honestly, "So, Peter and you should cover your beds and sleep. But she would talk to Remus and Sirius. They need to stay up."

James and Sirius exchanged a look but before they could exchange a word, the door of the dormitory burst open and Lily, Mary and Remus walked in with their arms laden with food.

Lily dumped all the food on the table nearest to her, which happened to belong to James.

"You really don't need to do this." She said, "I am-"

"Don't tell us you are fine." Mary said, "You are not fine. You will be going home day after tomorrow, let us just be with you till then. Please."

Lily didn't say anything, just settled down on a mattress and looked at Sirius, her eyes filling up with tears. Sirius looked at James uneasily, when the latter nodded encouragingly, he got off his bed and sat next to her.

It was around dawn when James woke up to Lily's sobs. He looked around hoping that someone else would wake up and talk to her. When no one responded, he silently got up from his bed and sat down next to her. Lily was sobbing in her sleep, holding Sirius' hand. James gently pulled her to him and held her. He watched her sleep, and before he knew it, he had fallen asleep with Lily in his arms.

* * *

For the first time in five years, Petunia rushed to hug Lily as soon as Lily entered her parents' home.

"They are gone. Mum and dad, they are gone." Petunia sobbed on Lily's shoulder, "What are we going to do?"

"Don't worry." Lily whispered back through her tears, "Don't cry so much. You know how much they hate to see us cry."

"But they are not here anymore Lily!" Petunia shrieked through her tears. "It doesn't matter whether we cry or not!"

"No." Lily said stubbornly, swiftly wiping the tears from her face, "I know they are gone but this is their home-our home. Their memory lives on in us. They are not completely gone."

"Lily!" Petunia exclaimed throwing her hands in the air. "Why-"

"That's enough." Lavender Beckett, Lily and Petunia's aunt said sharply. "Rosie would hate to see you two fight over this. And I would know Petunia, she was my sister. You only have each other now. So, it would be better if you support each other."

"I am sorry." Petunia said softly, her eyes shining with tears.

"I am sorry too." Lily said before dissolving into tears herself.

Lily was looking at the stars from the porch swing later that night when Petunia joined her silently.

"Mum and you, used to love stargazing." She said, lightly running a hand through Lily's hair. "Remember the camping trips when we were young? The two of you would spend hours lying on your backs and staring at the sky. Dad always said that you got the dreamer genes."

Lily smiled, "And he said you got the logical genes. Isn't that why you chased fireflies? That way you could have stars in a jar."

Petunia laughed, "You remember that?"

"I remember everything." Lily replied simply.

Petunia said nothing but she continued to stroke Lily's hair, as Lily settled her head in Petunia's lap.

"Lily?"

"Hmmm…"

"Do you think they are watching over us from somewhere?"

"I think so."

"Do you think they would be glad that we finally made up?"

"Are we making up?" Lily asked, getting up to look at Petunia.

"You are the only family I have left, apart from Aunt Lavender. It would be pretty stupid to fight you over something that you didn't ask for."

A small smile played on Lily's lips, "I think they would be thrilled that we are not fighting anymore."

Petunia nodded. "Did your people tell you what exactly happened to mum and dad?" She asked after a while.

"Yes." Lily replied, "Why? What did they tell you?"

"The police and media claim that this was an attack from a supremacist terrorist group, but they never told us which terrorist group and what do they want."

Lily nodded, "They are my kind."

"Then why did they kill people without magic? And why can't your people control them?"

Lily sighed, "Petunia, the other side could do magic too. These people, the ones that killed mum and dad believe that wizards are better, mostly that purebloods- people from completely magical families tracing back through entire generations- are better than muggles or witches or wizards born to non-magical parents."

"So, they kill non-magical people? Like the KKK used to kill Blacks and those who supported them?"

"Yes. Something like that. Nobody really paid attention to them but then this one man started spewing his ideas and suddenly all purebloods had a person to rally around. Our world is at war. This attack is the first of many. This attack was his war cry; he is challenging the peace our ministry protects."

"Wow! These things exist among you too? I thought we were the only ones with such problems. What about those dementors?"

Lily laughed humourlessly, "They have joined forces with him. He gives them more access; they have been attacking a lot of wizarding villages. Our curriculum was changed because of it."

"Lily? How bad is it?"

"It's not pretty." Lily admitted, "They have been subtle about their attacks so far, but this is serious."

"Are you in danger too?" Petunia asked anxiously.

"Not for now. Hogwarts is safer than most places, but beyond that school, everyone is in danger."

"Can I ask for a favour?"

"Anything."

"Don't get involved."

"What?"

"Don't get involved. If things get worse, we will flee the country but don't get involved in this war."

"Petunia, I know the people who killed our parents. They went to school with me! You want me to let that go?" Lily asked flabbergasted.

"Yes. You are the only family I have now Lily. Please, don't abandon me." Petunia said before dissolving into tears.

"Tuney." Lily whispered, pulling her sister in a hug. "I promise, I will not fight. I never wanted to fight either, I wanted to become a healer- a magical doctor. That should work for us. Will you be okay with that?"

"I just-hic- I just don't- want to lose you too."

"I know Tuney and I promise, I am not going anywhere. Okay?"

Petunia nodded as she sobbed on her sister's shoulder.

"Now come on, let's get you inside." Lily said, pulling Petunia gently to her feet.

* * *

Lily was finishing up the last bit of packing. The funeral had gone off without a hitch. Remus and Sirius had to sneak out of school to attend it. They had come laden with chocolates and letters of immense love from her friends and dorm mates.

Lily looked around the now empty closet, which once belonged to her mother. She pulled out her mother's night gown from the box nearest to her and smelled it. This was how she used to smell, like cookies and baby cream with a faint undertone of jasmine.

"Lily," Petunia called.

"In here!"

"Oh! Hey! What are you doing here?" Petunia asked sitting cross legged across Lily.

"Smuggling Mum's night gown, it still smells like her." Lily said extending the dress to her sister.

"It does. You used to say that mum had the yummiest smell in the world."

"I don't even remember saying that!" Lily said with a small smile.

The past week had brought the sisters closer than they had been in five years.

"Here." Petunia said handing the nightgown back to Lily, "You can keep it. Take it with you."

"Thanks, Tuney. Are you sure you would be okay? I can take a few more days off."

"No. You can't miss out on your education. Vernon will be here tomorrow to help me move."

"I am glad you were against selling this house." Lily said, "I would like to come back home for Christmas."

"Of course I am against selling this house. It's our home."

Lily smiled at Petunia gratefully. "Hey, why were you looking for me? Did you need help with something?"

"Oh shoot! I forgot! That Snape boy is here. He is waiting for you in the living room."

"What are you doing here?" Lily asked Severus from the door of the living room.

Severus jumped to his feet. "I just wanted to see, how you were doing." He said softly, taking several steps towards her.

"I am so sorry, Lily." He said remorsefully. "I wish I could attend their funeral."

Lily forgot that she had been mad at Severus. At this moment, he was her Sev; her best friend. And the one thing she had learned from the sudden deaths of her parents was that life was too short, she can't take people for granted. She flung herself in his arms.

"They are gone, Sev." She wept, "They killed them. He killed them, just like he killed your dad. Do you see now? Do you see what he truly is?"

Severus hugged her tightly. "Shh…" He whispered, "It will be alright. You will see, everything will get better with time."

"It won't! How will we ever fill the holes in our hearts?"

"We can't. But time will dull the ache. I promise."

Lily nodded, "I don't want to fight with you anymore. You are my best friend, Sev. Life is too short; I would rather have your frustrating self in my life than the regret of not giving you a second chance."

"Good. I am glad. I missed you so much." He said pulling her in a hug. "We will be fine. I won't let anything happen to you. I promise."

"Where are my manners?" Lily exclaimed disengaging herself from him. "Would you like something to drink? Tea? Juice? Come on in." She said pulling him in the kitchen, "We have tons of food from the funeral."

Lily chattered about nonsensical things as she flitted across the kitchen to prepare some tea and heat up some food for Severus.

"Here, let me get that for you." Severus said, pulling some plates out from the cupboard above their heads.

"What's that?" Lily asked curiously pointing at the odd semi circle tattoo his left wrist, peeking from under his full sleeve shirt.

"Nothing." Severus said hurriedly, pulling the sleeve of his shirt to cover his wrist.

"Severus!" Lily exclaimed, grabbing his arm and pushing the sleeve back. "If you have a crazy tattoo, just show it to me. You don't-"

She stared at the dark mark on his forearm before dropping it and turning her back to him.

"Lily." Severus said earnestly.

"Leave."

When he made no move she turned to look at him, hatred burning in her eyes.

"I asked you to leave Severus. Go away and don't come back."

"No, Lily. You don't understand, the Dark Lord didn't mean to kill your parents. It was Bellatrix and Theodus. They got out of control but you have to believe me the Dark Lord had punished them severely. They were not supposed to-" SMACK!

Lily slapped Severus hard. "None of your excuses would bring my parents back." She hissed trying to stem her tears. "Go away. Leave. I can't even look at you. You are one of them."

Severus tried to touch her but she shook him off. Severus hung his head and shuffled out of the kitchen. Maybe this was too soon. Maybe after a little time Lily would understand that her parents weren't supposed to die. It was an accident. It was because Bellatrix was crazy, maybe she would understand later that the Dark Lord would never harm a witch or wizard or their families, unless it is absolutely necessary but even Severus' belief on his master was shaking.

 **AN: So, some more death. I am sorry, I would just have to kill off characters now and I am not liking it. I would understand if you hate this haywired chapter but nevertheless, leave a review behind. Please.**

 **Don't forget to follow/favourite this story or me or both if you haven't done that already.**

 **I hope you enjoyed reading this chapter.**

 **Much love,**

 **The fishes**


	19. Chapter 19

Lily fell on the carpet in Professor McGonagall's office, she was just not used to flooing as a form of travelling yet.

"Evans?" James Potter asked, extending his hand to help her up. "Are you alright?"

Lily nodded, avoiding his eye; she took his hand and muttered her thanks.

"Lily!" Sirius said hugging her in greeting. "It's good to see you back. How are you?"

"I am fine." Lily said distractedly, moving over to hug Remus and Peter. "How are all of you? And what are you doing in McGonagall's office?"

"Oh that! No biggie, we were late for Minnie's class last week. We are here for our detention, just waiting for her to make an appearance." Sirius said lightly.

"Remus was late for class too?" Lily asked surprised.

Potter snorted, "Its because of him that we were late. He could never be on time for anything."

He looked at Lily, who looked away hurriedly, blushing slightly. Lily had been dreading being face to face with James Potter since the funeral. She vividly remembered waking up in his arms the night after she got the news of her parents' demise. She remembered feeling safe, peaceful even, in his arms listening to the rhythmic beating of his heart. She knew he remembered the same morning when they had woken up in each other's arms; they never had the opportunity to talk to each other about that morning. Lily didn't know what it meant for her relationship with James. She wasn't even sure if she wanted to be around him but she also missed the feeling she had, when she had woken up in his arms. An awkward silence fell on the group, Lily kept avoiding James' eye while the others kept exchanging looks, not really knowing what to say to each other.

"Ah! Miss Evans, you are here!" Professor McGonagall exclaimed making everyone jump. "How are you? I trust the funeral was concluded without a hitch?"

"Yes Ma'am. Everything went well." Lily replied.

"Please feel free to come to me if you need help with anything. You may go now."

Lily nodded and without a second glance to the boys she left the room.

"Lily! You are back!" Alice cried jumping up to give her hug as soon as Lily entered her dormitory.

Marlene and Mary rushed to Lily at Alice's exclamation and soon Lily was being crushed her friends.

"Oh! How are you?" Marlene asked pulling Lily to her bed.

"I am fine. Everything is alright. How are all of you?"

"Oh! We are fine." Mary said lightly, "But how are you holding up, Lily? We are sorry we couldn't make it to the funeral, if all of us had gone missing they would have become suspicious."

"I understand, and thank you for your letters. They helped, a lot."

"How is Petunia? I hope she didn't blame you for this." Alice said anxiously.

"No, she didn't blame me for anything. In fact, we reconciled. I hope this reconciliation continues."

"That's a relief." Marlene said.

"Did you see Snape this week?" Mary asked.

Lily looked up, shocked that his visit had already reached Hogwarts' gossip circle.

"How-how did you know that I met him yesterday?" She stammered.

"You don't know?" Mary asked confused, "His father died in the attack too."

Lily sat there, taking in the news, feeling horrified. Severus had lost his father too; she hadn't even asked him anything about it. But he had the dark mark tattoo, why did they not spare his father? Maybe he had got the tattoo before and now he regretted it, maybe he had come to her to ask for her help.

"Oh my God!" She whispered, covering her face in horror. "He came over yesterday to talk to me. I kicked him out. He had the dark mark tattoo like some stupid Voldemort fanatic and instead of listening to what he had to say I kicked him out. What if he had come over to tell me he regretted supporting the man that killed his father? I am a horrible person!"

"Lily" Marlene said gently, "You didn't know. It's not your fault."

"But I was supposed to be his friend! I should have given him a chance to explain himself."

"Lily, you were hurting. You lost your parents to the man responsible for that mark, obviously you would have no patience for anyone who believes in his cause. Its natural." Alice said.

"Yes but- I am going to go talk to him." Lily said jumping to her feet. Before anyone could stop her, she was out of the door.

"Do you think he regrets supporting Voldemort?" Marlene asked doubtfully.

"I don't know, the death eaters did kill his father. Maybe he does." Mary replied with a shrug.

* * *

Severus Snape was making his way to the library; his housemates were irritating him with their looks and fake concern for his well- being. When he felt like he would explode if another person came forward to offer their condolences; he gathered his things and left for the library.

"Severus!"

Severus was just about ready to scream at this new person when he realized that the voice belonged to Lily. He turned to face her, apprehension and hope battling through his veins.

"Lily." He said evenly.

"Why didn't you tell me?" She asked softly, laying a warm hand on his arm.

"What didn't I tell you?"

"About your father. Why didn't you tell me that they killed your father too?" Lily asked.

"I don't want to talk about it." Severus said, suddenly irritated, he didn't want Lily to feel sorry for him.

"Oh Sev!" Lily said pulling him in a hug, "Are you alright?"

"I am fine." Severus said shortly.

"Do you want to go to our fountain? Or for a walk?"

"Only if we don't talk about my father."

Lily nodded, "I understand, I don't want to talk about my parents either, it just makes it worse."

"May I see it?" Lily asked, after they had spent a better part of twenty minutes in silence, as they sat near the fountain.

Severus silently rolled up his left sleeve. Lily was about to touch the mark when Severus snatched his hand back.

"Don't touch it." He said quietly.

Lily nodded, "Do you regret getting it?"

"I don't know." He replied honestly.

"How will you get rid of this tattoo?"

"Get rid of it?"

"Yes. I mean it must be painful to look at the symbol everyday and know that the brand ambassador of this symbol is responsible for the death of your father along with so many other innocent people."

"My father was not innocent." Severus replied with gritted teeth.

"He did not deserve this fate either." Lily replied softly, holding Severus' hand.

"He deserved everything he got." Severus said angrily.

"You don't mean that." She said shaking her head.

"I mean exactly that, he deserved every bit of it. Filthy muggles like him deserve it."

"That is not true, Severus. No one deserves such a fate. My parents didn't deserve being murdered, I didn't deserve losing them." Lily said, her voice cracking.

Severus put his arm around Lily, letting her cry on his shoulder. "Your parents were not even supposed to be there. They were not supposed to die. Bellatrix Lestrange needs to learn restraint."

"What do you mean? What are you saying Severus? After everything they put you through, you still support them? How could you?"

"Lily, its not like that. The Dark Lord, he just wants witches and wizards to come out of hiding. He wants us to rule the world like we should because we are the next evolutionary step for humanity. He does not support mindless slaughter of people. He only kills when its necessary."

"Are you listening to yourself?" Lily asked horrified. "After everything you know of him, you are still supporting him. They have killed more than 100 people! They killed innocent muggles like my parents and your father and several others."

"My father was a horrible excuse of a human being. He deserved to die." Severus snapped. "I wanted him to die. Lucius just went ahead and fulfilled my wish. The death of your parents along with the others was unfortunate, but we cannot undo what's already been done."

Lily backed away from Severus, horrified at the man standing in front of her.

"Who are you?" She asked, "You are not the boy I have been friends with since I was eight."

"I am the same person, Lily." Severus said quietly, "Have I never expressed that I hate how things are at home? Have I never told you that I wished my father would just go away and leave us in peace? Didn't I ever tell you that I would send him away once I learn enough magic? Well, I arranged for him to go away, why is this surprising you?"

"You-you-you planned his murder." Lily said weakly, backing away from him till her back hit the wall. Severus stepped towards her. "Stay away from me!" Lily said.

"I was staying away from you." He said darkly as he advanced towards her trapping her between him and the wall behind her. "You came seeking me out."

"I came looking for my best friend, who I believed was hurting over his father's death. I came looking for the boy who cared about people." Lily said defiantly, refusing to look him in the eye.

"Look at me." He whispered; his heart rate erratic. Lily refused. "Please, just look at me once."

Lily looked at him and was taken aback by everything she saw in his dark eyes. She could see the Severus she knew, she could see his confusion and pain but beneath everything that she loved about Severus, she saw a darkness that she couldn't accept.

Severus was mesmerized by her green eyes, he could see the care she still had for him and her fear. He wanted to tell her that she doesn't have to be afraid of him but words failed him, so he did what he thought would ease her fear, he leaned in to kiss her.

"NO!" Lily shrieked shoving him away; he looked at her confused and hurt. "Just stay away from me. You are not my Severus anymore; I don't even know who you are now."

She ran away from him before he could do or say anything. Severus sank on the bench, frustrated with this dance. Why can't she make her mind up already? He is the only one who knows her and cares about her and right now he is the only one who can protect her.

* * *

Lily spent the rest of the day locked in her dormitory. It was past midnight when Alice snatched the pillow away from Lily's face.

"Okay! That's it. You start talking right now. I am your friend and I want to help you." Alice said with her hands on her hips.

"Alice." Marlene interjected, "Leave the girl alone. If she doesn't want to talk, we can't force her to."

"We have been leaving her alone since the start of the term!" Alice exclaimed, "Look at her! Lily, honey, you are worrying me. Please just talk to us. You know you can trust us."

Lily didn't say anything, just stared at her friends; she wanted to talk to someone; Merlin she missed Prongs. She wanted to tell them about her confusion regarding James Potter, about her incapability to hate Severus despite the fact that he was in league with the people who killed her parents, about how abandoned and lost she felt without her parents.

"I don't know where to start from." Lily said in a small voice, tears of frustration shining in her eyes.

Mary snuggled next to Lily and gave her a tight hug, "Start from the beginning then. Okay?"

"I found out who Prongs is."

"You did?" Mary exclaimed, "Why didn't you tell us?"

"Because its James. The four idiots are the Marauders." Marlene said.

"You knew?" Alice asked flabbergasted. "Why didn't you say anything?"

"I found out by accident and it was not my secret to tell and that's why I have been asking Lily to not talk to Prongs." Marlene said throwing her hands in the air. "Haven't I been saying all this while that it could be someone she doesn't like? What more hints could I drop?"

"True you have been saying that." Lily conceded.

"I am sorry Lily. I tried to warn you."

"I can't believe this! They are the Marauders!" Mary said with a whistle.

"Yes but you cannot say anything to them." Marlene said, "They will tell us when they have to."

"Okay, so you found out that James is Prongs and that's when you stopped talking to him, right?" Alice asked.

"Yeah." Lily said with a sigh, "But I am so confused about him. I don't know which one is the real Potter. Prongs has always been so mature, so sensitive, so respectful and caring and then Potter has been nothing but a bullying toerag. The summer I spent with you has confused me more because at home he is almost the guy that Prongs is, and I want to believe that this is who Potter really is but then my mind keeps remembering all the times he made me cry or all the times he bullied Se-"

Lily caught herself before she spoke his name. Severus' betrayal made the loss of her parents all the more painful. The group lapsed into silence, all lost in their thoughts of the boy they knew.

"And then the other night when we stayed in their dorm." Lily continued in a small voice, "I woke up in his arms."

None of the girls said anything to Lily's confession.

"And?" Mary prompted after Lily had been silent for a while.

"I don't know." Lily said, looking every bit as vulnerable as she felt. "I really don't know. When I woke up, I didn't want to leave his side because it was comfortable; I could pretend that mum and dad were not dead, that I was not an orphan. It was my safe bubble but then it burst. And- and- and I would give anything to feel that warm again." She choked, trying to stem her tears. Her friends made no move, knowing that she needed to get everything out of her system to feel better.

"I mean, even now with you guys here I feel empty from within. I feel so lost. Every time I think of the future all I could think of is that they won't be there for any of it. How am I supposed to live without them? Why were they taken from me? Why were they murdered so thoughtlessly?" Lily sobbed as Mary and Alice held her in their arms.

"Lily," Marlene said softly, wiping away her tears. "You will always have us. We will be your family. I know we can never replace your parents but you have to believe us when we say we would never let you be alone. I know it will take some time, but please promise to not shut us out. We will be here to comfort you whenever things get heavy. Just talk to us, okay?"

Lily nodded, as Alice kissed the side of her head in a comforting gesture. The three girls held their broken friend for a long while.

"I know what we need." Mary said suddenly, breaking away from the hug.

"What?" Alice asked as Mary ran out the door without even bothering to answer the question.

"Why do I have a feeling that she is going to do something crazy?" Marlene asked.

"Because its Mary." Alice answered, shaking her head fondly. "You feel any better, Lils?"

"Loads." Lily said giving Alice a warm hug.

"Soooooooooooooooo…" Marlene said, with a mischievous glint in her eyes. "You slept with James Potter?"

"Marlene!" Alice protested, but Lily and Marlene were already rolling on the bed laughing.

By the time Mary came back with the chocolates she had bullied out of Remus and the radio from the common room, the three girls were rolling on the floor laughing about how bright the stars were. The four friends dragged down two mattresses and settled in, just like they used to do when they were younger. They talked about everything under the sky, crushes old and new. Funny habits, stupid phases they have had so far, stories from their childhood, their most embarrassing moments. The morning saw the four girls passed out on the two mattresses in a tangle of limbs.

* * *

The four girls walked in for lunch on Sunday. They had slept through breakfast and were positively ravenous.

"Slow down, Marlene!" Sirius exclaimed as Marlene wolfed down her kidney and steak pie. "Your food is not going anywhere."

Marlene stuck her tongue out at Sirius before going back to her food.

"What has gotten into you lot?" Peter aked, looking incredulously at the four silent girls concentrating on their food.

"Nothing." Alice said, "People tend to concentrate on their plates when they get good food and this chicken is out of this world."

The other three girls made noises of agreement not bothering to say another word.

"This is our regular chicken; this is served thrice in a week." Sirius said, "And you were complaining about it, two days ago."

"Jesus Christ! Leave the girl alone, she was a different person two days ago." Mary said, hi fiving Alice at the end of her sentence.

"I don't want to invite your wrath." Sirius said curiously.

"Then don't." Remus said looking up from his pie. "Don't say whatever you want to say."

Sirius gave Remus an exasperated look, "I was just wondering, is it that time of the month for all four of you?"

James choked on his food at the same time as Remus covered his face in absolute horror and Peter shook his head in denial. The four girls however, stopped eating and exchanged quick glances with each other and burst out laughing.

"Sometimes, you are so much like an adorable little puppy!" Marlene exclaimed, petting Sirius' head.

"How do you know about it though?" Mary asked with a wide grin, exchanging a wink with Lily.

"Know about what?" Sirius asked not really sure of where the conversation was going.

"That we have synchronized ourselves." Lily said with a mischievous glint in her eyes.

"Yeah. We generally suffer together or close to each other. This has strengthened our bond." Alice said with a laugh, sending air kisses to Mary sitting in front of her.

"I did not need to do that." Peter said, looking terrified.

"I could have spent my life happily without knowing it." Remus said with a sigh before whacking the back of Sirius' head.

"Ow! But how do you that?" Sirius asked curiously.

The girls shrugged, "No idea." Marlene said.

"This is fascinating." Sirius exclaimed, "I mean we have the same two eyes, two ears, one nose, two hands and everything but there are so many fascinating things to know."

"Of all the subjects in the world, you find human anatomy as fascinating?" James asked rolling his eyes.

"Why not?" Sirius asked, "Have you never been awed by the absolute wonders our bodies are? Of all the magic on earth, the human body is the most magical thing possible."

"Is he alright?" Mary asked Remus.

"He is fine." Remus said, "That's what happens to him when eats too much of chocolate. He becomes a philosopher."

"By the way, Marlene, my love." Sirius said suddenly, making Marlene blush. "Why weren't you at breakfast today?"

"Overslept." She muttered, refusing to look at Sirius.

"Aw! Come on!" Sirius said, "We know we like each other, so get used to it. I am not going to pretend otherwise."

The rest of the table watched the exchange with growing interest.

Marlene grinned at Sirius. "Okay." She said with a shrug before going back to her food.

"Wait." Alice said flabbergasted, "That's it? He says he won't pretend not liking you and you say okay and that's it?"

Sirius and Marlene exchanged a look. "Yeah." They said together, shrugging at the same time.

"So, is this the start of your relationship?" Mary asked.

"Whoa. Whoa. Whoa. Whoa!" Sirius said, "I haven't even taken the girl out on a date yet."

"So, what does it mean then?" Peter asked.

"That I like him and he likes me." Marlene answered, "So, do you want to go to Hogsmeade together next weekend?"

"I was thinking more of going out tonight." Sirius said with a devilish grin, "I am pretty sure you want to spend time with the girls during the Hogsmeade weekend."

"Sounds like a plan. I will see in the common room at 7:00 then?" Marlene asked.

"Yeah, okay. Are you guys done? Let's go already." Sirius said jumping out of his seat and rushing out.

"What's his rush?" Alice asked.

"Beauty queen?" Peter said, "He needs to prepare for the big date tonight."

"Finish your food fast!" Marlene said suddenly, "Now that Peter has mentioned it, I need your help."

"Hey!" Sirius exclaimed as he marched back in, "I expect the three of you to follow me when I walk out. So, move. Now."

"Evans and I will come along in a few. You guys go ahead."

"You good to go, Evans?" James asked as soon as the rest of them cleared out the table.

"No and I won't be till you tell me, where exactly are we going." Lily said.

"Back to the common room."

"Then why did you let them go ahead?"

"Because this arrived for you this morning." James said pulling a scroll of parchment from his pocket. "And I wanted to give this to you privately, it's from my mum." He reassured her.

"Oh! Thanks."

James nodded before walking away from her. He had hardly climbed the first step when Lily came rushing out.

"Potter! Wait. We need to talk."

"About what?" James asked continuing to climb the steps as Lily caught up with him.

"About that morning in your dormitory."

"What about it?"

"Why were you holding me?"

"I woke up and noticed that you were crying in your sleep. I tried to wake Sirius up, but he just wouldn't wake up, so I thought I would comfort you till you quietened down and then leave you."

"But you didn't leave me." Lily reminded him.

"I- You held on to my shirt and I-" James looked down and increased his pace.

"You, what?" Lily asked tugging his arm to stop him.

The moment she looked into his eyes, she wished she hadn't stopped him. His hazel eyes swirled with such intense emotions, she felt light headed.

"I couldn't." He whispered, his breath tickled her cheek, they didn't know when they had leaned into each other. James looked down at Lily's lips; he was just so close to capturing them. He had yearned for this moment all his life. If only he could kiss her, she would know how much she meant to him. He could see the conflict in her eyes, a part of her wanted him too and this was enough for James.

"We should go." He said, pulling himself away from her and walking away. Lily hung her head, why was she so disappointed? Why didn't he kiss her? His rejection hurt, it confused her. She wrapped her arms around herself and shuddered, him being so near to her was enough to pull her into that bubble of safety again. What was it about James Potter that made her feel less lonely in his company? Why did she want his arms around her so bad?

The rest of her day was spent in her dorm as they helped Marlene get ready for her date. The fact that Sirius was breaking several school rules, didn't really matter to Lily anymore. Life was short, rules only limit a person and give them the false dream of forever. Sirius believed in living in the moment and that's how people should live. All through dinner Lily tried to catch James' eye but he would studiously look in the other direction as soon as she looked at him.

Lily tossed and turned, trying to force herself to sleep but sleep eluded her. The rest of the girls had slept off immediately after dissecting Marlene's minimal description of the date. Lily sighed as she gave up on any hopes of sleep and pulled out the letter James had handed to her.

 _My dearest Lily,_

 _I hope you are doing well. As I write this to you, I am at an utter loss for words. I will not fool you and say everything would be back to normal in no time. Things don't become normal. When you lose someone, they leave a space in you that no one else could even dream of filling up. I am sorry you had to face such a tragic loss at such a young age. It is not easy and I commend you for your strength. From what I observed of you this summer, you are a very strong and driven young girl. But please don't force yourself to come to terms with this loss._

 _It has been months to Althea's death and I still think about her every day. I still cry over the things that she would miss, like her son's wedding, James' graduation, James, Frank and Percy's children. It hurts me to know that I would not be able to share such small joys as a cup of perfectly prepared tea with her anymore but I also know that wherever she is, her soul has found peace. So, whenever you feel restless about the things your parents would miss out, remind yourself that they have found peace and are watching over you with increasing pride._

 _I am not writing this letter to just offer my condolences. I am also writing to you to let you know that I am there for you. Of course, I would never be able to wear your mother's shoes but if you ever need me for anything, I am there to help you. In fact it would make me feel much better if you do write to me from time to time. I would like to know more about you. I know I am asking for a lot and thus I leave this decision to you. Please feel free to decline my offer; I will still be here for you if you need me for anything._

 _Before I end this letter, I would also like to invite you to the Yuletide ball at our home. I also insist that you stay with us for the new years. I understand that you would like to spend Christmas with your sister, but I would request you to join us after Boxing day and spend a few days with us. The decision is completely yours, do write to me though._

 _Please take care of yourself and remember time is the biggest healer._

 _Sincerely_

 _Dorea Potter_

 **AN: And here is another chapter. Now moving on to understand a few things.**

 **a) I honestly believe that the wizarding world would discover about this unique use of the protean charm in a tattoo (dark mark) after the first war and capture of several death eaters so for now, anyone with the dark mark is just some crazy fanatic with a tattoo.**

 **b) It's almost 4:00 a.m. in India as I post this so I really don't remember what else was I supposed to mention.**

 **c) Just remembered, yes, James walked away because he was scared of getting hurt. He could see Lily's confusion and vulnerability and he did not wish to exploit that.**

 **So, I guess pretty much everything is covered. I have tried to proof read the story but I am a sleep deprived zombie so forgive my mistakes.**

 **Now don't forget to read and review. Please follow/favorite this story if you like it and if you haven't already done so.**

 **Waiting to hear from you soon (through reviews)**

 **Much love**

 **The fishes.**


	20. Chapter 20

Christmas Eve was a bleak affair at the Evans household. Petunia had grudgingly settled for firewhiskey after her eggnog experiment failed. It was way past midnight and Lily was downing the fourth bottle of firewhiskey. Sleep eluded her and for some god forsaken reason she missed Potter. She had no explanation for why she missed him. She twirled the invitation letter for the Yule Ball at Potter Manor, before throwing it down in frustration. She missed Prongs, she wanted to talk to Prongs but James Potter ruined this relationship for her too. He messed everything up and yet she couldn't wipe away the memory of the morning she woke up in his arms. She couldn't wipe away the disappointment she felt when he didn't kiss her. She couldn't silence the monster in her that craved his presence. In her drunken state, Lily Evans had the biggest epiphany of her young life; she wanted to be near James Potter. She needed him to reduce the hole her parents had left in her soul. She needed him to make her feel warm again and she wanted all of it this instant. She jumped out of her bed, hurriedly going through all the options she had to reach to him. Her home was not connected to the floo network, she could always fly to Marlene's home but that would create a lot of complications. She cursed her stars for not knowing apparition.

She paced the room restlessly; she needed to see James Potter. A shining piece of paper caught her eye. The invitation to the ball, mocked her. She picked the invitation and stared at it morosely; she had a chance to meet James Potter tonight.

 _Dear Lily,_

 _Thank you for your kind letter. I had hoped that you would be able to make it for the ball, but I understand that you need to be with your family too. However, should you change your mind and wish to attend the ball. Just tap your wand on this letter thrice after 6:00 p.m and before 9:00 p.m. on Christmas Eve. This piece of paper would act like a portkey and bring you to Potter Manor._

 _We really do hope to see you soon._

 _Sincerely,_

 _Dorea Potter_

How could she forget! 9:00 p.m. mocked at her. However, Lily rummaged through her things for her wand. Unwillingly, almost without hope she tapped on the letter three times. Lily's surprise was caught in her throat as she felt a tug behind her naval, before she could comprehend her situation she was on the floor of the entrance hall at the Potter Manor. Lily got on her feet unsteadily, wishing for a mouthful of firewhiskey. She stumbled her way to James' room, apologizing to the portraits on the way.

Lily had spent the last fifteen minutes staring at James' door. Now that she was here, she didn't know if she wanted to see him. The Manor was eerily silent for a place that had witnessed a party a few hours ago. Lily would have spent a longer time staring at James' door but she heard someone coming and bolted.

James Potter was tired to his bones. His mother was hopeful that Lily would come for the ball, but James knew better. So, here he was in his room, getting ready for bed when Lily bolted into his room.

"Oops!" Lily giggled. "Sorry."

"Lily?" James asked in a strangled whisper.

"Yup!" She said brightly.

"What-what-what are you doing here? Is everything alright?" He asked, still frozen on his spot.

"Yes. Yes. Everything is fine." She slurred, "I should probably go. Goodnight Potter."

"Wait." James ordered as he strode to her. "Are you drunk?"

"Maybe…" Lily slurred with a bright smile. "I should go though."

"Where do you think you are going?" He asked catching her wrist and tugging her back to him.

Lily inhaled sharply. She was now stuck between James Potter's chest and the door and her head swam.

"Lily? Hey, Evans!" James asked waving his palm in front of her face. "Are you alright?"

"Maybe."

"How much did you drink?"

"4 bottles of Firewhiskey." Lily giggled, holding 3 fingers up.

"Dear Merlin!" James whispered.

"How did you even get here? Are you crazy? You could have hurt yourself?"

"Shush, mother." Lily said, placing a finger on his lips. "Oh wait! I don't have a mother. She left me."

Before Lily could stop herself, she was crying in James' arms. James led Lily to his bed and poured her a glass of water after ensuring that she was comfortable.

He watched her red, blotchy face with a new ache in his heart. He wanted to make her feel better but he knew Sirius was probably the better person for it.

"I will go get Sirius, I am sure you would like to speak to him." James said.

"No!" Lily exclaimed, holding his wrist. "Stay. Please."

"Its getting late." James said, after what felt like an eternity of tense silence. "You should get some sleep."

He tucked her in tenderly, but before he could leave her, she held his hand again.

"Do you think, you could just hold me like you held me the other night in your dormitory?"

"Yes." James whispered his throat suddenly dry.

Lily snuggled next to him.

"Po- James?" She whispered.

"Yes?"

"I came here to meet you."

"Huh?"

"Yes. I don't know why, but when you are around me I feel less lonely. It feels warm, it aches less. But I don't know why I feel this way?" She wondered aloud.

"I do." He thought as he ran his fingers in her soft red hair.

* * *

"PRONGS! GET- aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!" Sirius screamed as he jumped on James' bed and landed on Lily.

"Where's the fire?" James asked as he jerked awake while Sirius kept on screaming and Lily stared at him frightened.

"Sirius! Shut up!" James snapped after assessing the situation.

"But-But-But- Lily-your bed- you- What?"

Lily blushed deeply.

"Relax." James said, "Its nothing like that."

"But-what happened? How did she get here?" Sirius asked still trying to come to terms with seeing Lily in James' bed. "Lily, what are you doing here?"

"I- err- I am not really-" Lily trailed off, blushing hard.

"It's a long story." James said hastily cutting Lily off.

"We have all the time in the world. It's only 5:00 a.m." Sirius said, settling in comfortably at the foot of James' bed.

"I-I-I have to go. Petunia would be up any moment." Lily said jumping off James' bed.

"Okay. I will drop you home. Come on."

"No! Its fine. I used the invitation to come here, I guess it could take me back."

"Okay." Sirius said with a pout, "Where is the invitation?"

"I don't know. I can't find it." Lily replied checking under James' bed and panicking a little. "I can't believe I dropped it! How will I get home?"

"We can floo you home." Sirius suggested.

"We don't have a floo connection."

"Flying would take all morning. And we don't know how to apparate." James replied.

"Looks like you are stuck with us for Christmas, Evans." Sirius replied with a grin.

"Relax." James said, kicking Sirius, as Lily gave them panicked looks. "We will get you home. Wait a minute, Twinkie!"

Lily jumped at the loud _CRACK!_

"You have a house-elf?" Lily asked flabbergasted, as a house elf appeared wearing a white shirt and skirt.

"House elves." Sirius corrected.

"How come I didn't notice them over the summer?" Lily wondered aloud.

"Because they are shy." Sirius replied.

"It is not right, Master Sirius." Twinkie said disapprovingly, "It is the sign of a good elf that they remain invisible."

"But that isn't-"

"Don't go there." James warned her. "Not unless you want to go through a two hour lecture."

"Master James!" Twinkie exclaimed, tugging his ear affectionately.

"You have embarrassed me enough." James said with a laugh. "Now, I need a favour. I need you to drop Miss Evans home right now."

"Of course! Hold my hand Miss Evans. You will be home in no time." Twinkie said extending her hand.

Lily took her hand uncertainly, "Don't worry." Sirius called from his spot. "Elves can apparate in and out of most places."

"Okay."

"Merry Christmas, Evans." James said tugging her hair behind her ear.

* * *

The rest of the holidays passed in a haze for Lily and James. While Sirius and later on Remus and Peter spent a lot of time convincing James to not let his hopes up. Lily on the other hand was infinitely confused. She could pretend and tell the world that she remembered nothing. She however couldn't lie to herself. She remembered everything. She remembered his smell and the feel of his arm around her waist. The warmth she felt when he had gathered her in his arms. She could go on pretending but she didn't want to. Every day she waited for a letter from James but never got one. Every day she wrote a letter to him but just couldn't send it. James was in the same predicament. He didn't know if he should write a letter to her. He didn't want to sound presumptuous. After a lot of deliberation he decided he would wait for her to write a letter to him.

The train ride was torturous for both. Lily was just as tempted to go find James but she didn't know what to say to him. James had taken the Marauders' advice and was busy convincing himself that a drunken night meant nothing. That Lily felt nothing for him and he shouldn't get his hopes up. The fact that she hadn't contacted him since that day meant that she felt nothing for him.

"You are staring at him again." Alice whispered, making Lily jump.

"What?"

"You were staring at James again." Marlene clarified helping herself to some more pie.

"I wasn't." Lily replied defiantly, her eyes straying on James.

"You are doing it again." Mary pointed out with a smirk.

"You fancy him." Marlene declared.

"I do not!" Lily exclaimed.

"Do too."

"Do not."

"What is going on here?" Sirius asked, pecking Marlene's cheek softly.

"Lily fancies a boy and she is denying it." Marlene chirped.

"Lily has been denying a lot of things she has done lately." Sirius commented, giving Lily a sly look.

"You know something!" Mary exclaimed.

"Maybe." Sirius smirked, "But I am here to steal my girlfriend from her clingy friends."

Mary stuck her tongue out at Sirius, as Alice threw a shrimp at him. Lily did not pay attention, she had just made eye contact with James and his hazel eyes burned through her.

"Don't interrogate her without me." Marlene requested, taking Sirius' hand.

"And James." Sirius called, "You are feeding your lap."

He grinned cheekily at Lily before pulling Marlene away.

* * *

Mary pulled Lily's sheets away, knowing well that she wasn't sleeping.

"Mary!"

"Lily!"

"What do you want?"

"Nothing. Just wanted to irritate you."

"Where is Alice when you need her to discipline someone." Lily muttered.

"Hey!" Alice exclaimed, rising from under her bed. "I am a fun person."

"Yeah! Right!" Marlene snickered.

"Anyway, I have an announcement." Mary said exchanging a smirk with Alice.

"Gideon asked me out!"

"Finally!" Lily exclaimed happily.

"I need details!" Marlene exclaimed.

"Jeez. Sirius is rubbing off on you." Alice said with a laugh, as Mary launched her story.

Soon, the discussion moved to Alice and Frank, Marlene and Sirius and finally, to the war brewing outside. Marlene worried about her brothers who were members of a secret society working against Voldemort. People were vanishing and dying by the dozens. No one knew who to trust anymore. The annual Potter family ball was much more tensed than ever. Marlene and Alice filled the other two about the ball and the conversations they overheard. The latest rage being, Dorea Potter's return to work; if the ministry needed someone who has not even recovered properly, it meant things were bad.

"Lily!" Alice said suddenly. "What was Sirius talking about earlier?"

"Oh, that!" Lily said, blushing deeply. "It's not a big deal."

"Then why are you blushing so hard?" Mary asked.

"I- Okay, I can't hide anything from you." Lily muttered before telling them her story.

"Wow!" Alice whistled.

"You slept with James Potter again." Marlene snickered.

"That's a little messed up though." Mary said. "Do you even like him?"

"I don't know." Lily sighed, "But I just feel so much better when I am around him. But I guess he has moved on, he hasn't contacted me at all since that night."

"What if he is waiting for you to talk to him?" Alice asked.

"He could write at least."

"Lily." Alice said, "You have been turning him down since day one. And he was really bummed out after the whole Prongs fiasco. Maybe he is scared."

"Yeah." Marlene agreed.

"What if he likes someone else?" Lily asked.

Mary made some noise in disagreement but Alice looked away. "I wouldn't rule that out." She said quietly.

"Alice." Mary said exasperated, "There is no possibility of James liking someone else."

"He spent a lot of time at the ball with Amelia." Alice said slowly. "And she is a nice person. You were there, Marlene."

"Yes, but she is just a friend. Like you and I are." Marlene said, "Sirius would have said something had James moved on from Lily. He has been trying so hard to set James and Amelia up."

"What?" Mary exclaimed. "Why would he do that?"

"Um… No offence to you, Lily." Marlene said softly, "But Sirius just can't stand James being so miserable. He doesn't blame Lily, but he wants James to get over her. It's unhealthy for him."

"He must have been mad at me for Christmas eve then." Lily said miserably.

"No, he isn't." Marlene said quickly, "He is mad at you for not writing to him after, though."

"That's fair." Lily said shrugging slightly.

"Yeah. You should talk to James once." Alice said.

"I agree." Marlene said as Mary nodded. "Just clear it out with him."

"At breakfast?" Lily asked.

"At breakfast." Marlene confirmed as the others grinned, letting her know that they would ensure she did the right thing.

* * *

Lily was a bundle of nerves the next morning.

"Is this really a good idea?" Lily asked for the hundredth time, "I can talk to him later, more privately."

"No, you won't." Mary snickered.

"And you would get ample amount of privacy after you tell him that you want to speak to him privately." Alice pointed out.

"But-"

"No buts!" Marlene ordered, "You are talking to him and you would do it at breakfast. Now move."

Lily was gearing herself up to walk up to James as soon as they entered the hall when the four Marauders walked out. Remus and Sirius were flanking James with threats visible on their faces, James looked pale. Peter brought up the rear, sending serious looks to passer-bys and watching James anxiously.

"What happened?" Mary asked Kingsley Shacklebolt, a first year from their house, who had just walked out of the hall.

"Dunno." Kingsley said with a shrug, "Rumour is Potter got purple seal letter."

Alice clapped her mouth in horror, tears shining in her eyes.

"Alice." Marlene said urgently, "It's a rumour. It might not be true. Let's just go up and talk to them. Do NOT panic, right now."

Lily hadn't even waited to Marlene to say this, by the time the rest of them caught up, she was already climbing the steps to the Tower. They checked the dormitories but the boys were not there. So they waited in the common room. Only Sirius, Remus and Peter returned and Sirius had murder written on his features. Without even giving them a glance he ran straight to the boys' dormitory, Peter followed. Remus shook his head and ran after Peter and Sirius. The girls trailed behind. By the time they reached the dormitory, they could hear loud crashes.

"Sirius?" Marlene gasped, as the girls spilled into the room.

Sirius looked up, wild eyed, angry and hurt as he continued destroying the furniture with his bare hands. James was nowhere to be seen.

Marlene rushed to Sirius, holding on to him. He tried to push her away; at some point the people watching them were afraid that Sirius would grievously harm her. When she didn't let go, he collapsed in her arms, howling like a wounded animal.

Marlene looked pleadingly at Remus, who was crying himself.

"It's Mrs. Potter." He said after taking a shuddering breath in. "She died in an ambush, last night."

Alice and Marlene had started weeping already, but the world had stopped spinning for Lily. Lily might not have spent a lot of time with her, but she somehow depended on Mrs. Potter. Her last resort was taken from her too. Her knees buckled in shock, but tears won't come to her.

"Where is he?" Lily asked quietly, her heart aching for James.

"At the Quidditch Pitch." Sirius answered. Lily nodded, standing up. "Lily," he called. "He is hurting already. Don't mess him up."

Sirius' words stung Lily, but she brushed them off. She had to find James; she had to see him to know that he was okay. She had to comfort him.

James was circling the pitch, his vision unfocused. He didn't know what to feel anymore. Flashes of his childhood, of her anger, laughter, smiles, kisses came to him in random order. His entire life moved in front of his life. She had been there at every step. This was all a bad joke, a nightmare. He would wake up any moment and she would still be around, writing letters to him. Asking him to behave himself and have some fun too. James burst into tears, he felt like a failure. The one thing she had asked of him, was to behave himself and he never granted her that wish. He sent a prayer up, he promised to behave himself, all she had to do was come back.

Lily climbed to highest stand on the pitch, her vision blurred by the snowfall but she couldn't find him.

"JAMES" she shouted him name, once, twice, a hundred times but he didn't reply. Lily burst into tears as she sank back on the chair. Where was he?

James had heard her the first time; he just didn't want to talk to her. He didn't want to talk to anyone, so he kept flying higher and Lily kept calling his name, till she called no more. He figured she had left already.

When James grew exhausted of flying around, he decided he needed some hot chocolate, his mother's favourite. He was flying low enough to spot her. Lily was a dark lump on a chair. When James reached her, he realized that she had dozed off, with tear tracks still clear on her cheeks.

"James?" Lily spluttered, as soon as he woke her up. He said nothing.

"Where have you been?" She cried, pulling him into a hug. "I was so worried."

James said nothing; he only buried his face in her neck, inhaling the smell of her shampoo and perfume. And he let go. It was so easy to let go with her. So he cried and cried till he could cry no more. By the time they returned to the castle, it was tea time and classes had almost ended for the day.

When they returned to the boys' dormitory in the Gryffindor tower, Sirius was sleeping in Marlene's lap. Remus and Peter were nowhere to be found, Alice and Mary were missing too.

"They had to go back to class." Marlene whispered. "They should be back soon."

James flopped on his bed and Lily automatically knelt near his head and ran her fingers through his hair, till he slept off. Lily watched him sleep, he looked so heartbroken that she just couldn't leave, so she continued running her hand through his hair till she slept off in that uncomfortable position herself.

It would be hours later that Lily would wake up with a pain in her neck and a growling stomach. The Mary and Peter would troop down to the kitchens and return with heaps of food for dinner and the eight of them would sleep in the same dormitory again. Only this time, Lily and James would sleep on James' bed holding to each other like children do when they feel threatened by the world. Marlene and Sirius would talk all night. Alice would weep silently in a corner and Remus and Mary would hold her to comfort her and Peter would look at the room and realize that opposing Voldemort was not as heroic as he thought it would be.

 **AN: And I am alive and back from the longest writer's block in my life. Also please do not kill me, I had so much going on in my life. Anyway, it's all in the past. I am back and here is the chapter.**

 **Please leave a review and let me know how you liked it. If you are new to this fic, don't forget to favourite/follow it and me.**

 **I am open to all sorts of opinions, so you should tell me if this chapter was lame. I really need to know that. It would help me develop as a writer.**

 **Hope you had fun reading this chapter.**

 **Can't wait to hear from you.**

 **Hugs and Kisses,**

 **The Fishes**

 **P.S. That rhymes, I am such an improv poet these days! :D**


	21. Chapter 21

James and Sirius were gone by the time Lily woke up the next day and didn't return for a week. Things changed drastically once the duo returned. Sirius and James came back with a vengeance. They became more and more reckless. It was almost an everyday occurrence to see either one or both them sporting a wound. Nearly every day, one or the other Slytherin found himself in the Hospital Wing. Marlene worried that at this rate the two boys would be expelled. McGonagall allowed them this madness for two weeks by giving them long detentions after which she threatened to take away their Quidditch privileges. This only incensed them.

Lily would have gone back to hating James again but she couldn't. Under the mask of stubbornness and anger Lily could see infinite pain. She had tried to talk to him but if James Potter was good at one thing, it was evading people. No one apart from Marlene and the other Marauders dared approach Sirius. But every time Marlene approached him, he would push her away with many hurtful words. He had an almost violent look in his eyes. At this moment, Lily Evans was looking at the four Marauders thinking about what Marlene had told them during breakfast.

 _"_ _She didn't die because she was not ready to be on the field." Marlene muttered. "She was duelling three at the same time. Cygnus Black snuck behind her and used the Cruciatus on her. They tortured her till she died."_

 _Lily was staring at Marlene speechless. Mary and Alice had gone white._

 _"_ _How did you find this out?" Alice whispered._

 _"_ _Sirius told me last night in a fit of rage. Turns out, James overheard his father talking to some of his friends about it. Mr. Potter blames himself for not being there for her." She replied._

 _"_ _This is horrible." Mary said._

 _Marlene nodded her expression hard. "Sirius, blames himself. They were mad at her for taking him in after he ran away from home. He-"_

 _"_ _It's not his fault." Lily interrupted._

 _"_ _I don't know how to help him." Marlene sighed, "He just keeps pushing me away."_

Lily shook her head, breaking out of her reverie. Bidding farewell to Marlene and Alice she went ahead for her patrol duty with Remus. They walked in silence and met with no one. Lily wanted to talk to Remus, ask him about James and Sirius but it looked like the quiet Marauder was lost in his thoughts. They were just finishing up their rounds on the fourth floor when they heard something.

"-should just do you in and return the favour."

Remus groaned and took off with Lily at his heels, they rounded a corner and the scene in front of her chilled Lily.

James Potter had his wand pointed at Narcissa Black, a seventh year Slytherin. Except to Lily he didn't look like the prat she had known all her life. His features seemed to have changed, his expression was sinister. He looked terrifying. For the first time in her life, Lily Evans was scared of James Potter. She hadn't even noticed Sirius standing in the shadows, with two prone figures at his feet.

"Stop it, both of you!" Remus said, hurrying forward, to pull Sirius' wand away from Regulus Black and Davy Gudgeon.

Lily's mind jumped into action. She fired a shield charm between Potter and Black, knocking James off his feet. James jumped to his feet and gave her a hateful glare.

"Don't make me hex you, Evans." He threatened with gritted teeth.

Lily stared back refusing to remove the shield charm.

"Go!" Lily all but shouted at Narcissa. "Go back to your dorms."

Narcissa didn't need telling twice, she turned and walked away. Davy Gudgeon stood up and gave Lily a hateful glare.

He opened his mouth to insult her but she cut him off with an "I know. Now run along. Go!"

Regulus Black however, stood up and stared at Sirius, who was being held back by Remus.

"Black." Lily warned, "Just go."

Regulus' gaze flickered to Lily but he didn't move. He stared at Sirius who was struggling against Remus. James Potter was still contained behind the shield charm Lily had conjured and while he was getting angrier by the minute, he had not hexed her yet.

"I don't take orders from any of you." Regulus announced defiantly.

"Yes. Because you have new master now, don't you?" Sirius shouted, "You would anything for him, won't you? What's your first task Reggie? Killing your own family? I hear our father doesn't have any qualms about killing siblings anymore. Here's a thought, why don't you-"

Sirius' words were cut off as Regulus punched his face. "You stubborn, spoilt, selfish brat!" Regulus shouted and it looked like once he let go, he didn't care about who was listening to him shout at his estranged brother. "How dare you stand there after giving up on me and claim to have a higher ground? You ran out on me, Sirius Black. Don't you ever forget that! Narcissa and I came looking for Potter and you, to tell you that we will never throw a fatal curse at you, no matter what battles we meet in because family matters! Why must you always hold Cissy and me responsible for everything they do? It's not her fault! And it bloody well isn't mine!" Regulus stopped; he glared at Sirius biting the inside of his cheek.

"And Potter." He said turning to look at James. "Stay the hell away from us. We want nothing to do with the lot of you."

Sirius looked stumped. He left as soon as Remus let him go. Lily looked at James who was glaring at her still.

"What is your problem, Evans?" James asked, towering over her. "Why must you always meddle in other people's business?"

"James." Remus cautioned but James waved it off.

"James." Lily said putting a calming hand on his arm which he shook off. "It's not their fault. And you can't keep on attacking everyone for revenge. You are better than that."

"Don't you lecture me!" James shouted. "You have always protected those bloody snakes. Do you know what Cygnus Black did? He tortured my mother- his sister- till her heart gave out. Preach me about being better when you have lost someone you love to that!" James' eyes widened in realization as soon as the last words left his mouth; Lily inhaled sharply.

"James!" Remus exclaimed. "Lily, he didn't mean it."

Lily's gaze flickered to Remus; she nodded once and turned to leave. She didn't look at James again.

"Lily." James called, chasing after her. Remus just shook his head, running after James to prevent any other mishaps.

"Lily, wait!" James said, pulling her hand. She tugged her hand free forcefully. "Lily, please." He said grabbing her shoulders and turning her to him.

"I am-"

"Don't say, you are sorry, Potter." Lily growled, "Just don't say it. I don't want to hear it."

"Lily, please." James said earnestly, "I was too angry. I- I-"

"Forgot?" Lily asked poison dripping from her voice. "Let me jog your memory, Potter. My parents were tortured and murdered in cold blood by the Death Eaters for the crime of existing! I know the names of at least a couple of killers, but you don't see me going ahead and attacking their loved ones in school because the students here are not at fault. For all we know, they might not even agree with their families. Bellatrix Black was one of the people present during the attack on my parents. Should I blame Sirius and you then? You are related to her, aren't you?" Lily stepped back from James; her disappointment filled the space between them. "I thought you had changed. I thought you had- I guess I was wrong. You are the same arrogant, bullying toerag you have been all these years. Goodnight Potter, Remus."

She didn't wait for their response. James fell on his knees, suddenly exhausted with everything.

"She doesn't mean that." Remus said, placing a hand on his shoulder. James shook his head.

"I am just tired of being this angry all the time." He groaned. "I don't know what to think or feel anymore."

"It will be fine. Now, come on. Let's go back to the tower."

James looked out his window, sleep evading him like it had since his mother's death. He didn't look up when someone's knee bumped into his.

"Does it hurt?" He asked breaking the silence.

"Like hell." Sirius replied massaging his jaw. "Sometimes I feel like an ass."

"Tell me about it." James said with a wry smile.

"Merlin! I hate apologising to that squirt." Sirius groaned.

"You are secretly happy that he is mad at you for believing that he would try and do you in."

Sirius grinned, "I won't deny it. He cares about me! I guess I could live with being disowned by my parents. Why do you look so gloomy?"

"Evans." James sighed.

"What did she do now?" Sirius asked, "I love that girl, but I am going to have a word with her. She can't keep on playing with you like this."

"It's not that!" James said, "I messed up this time."

"Tell me something new." Sirius muttered, receiving a kick on his shins. "Ow! Alright, alright! What did you do?"

"Shouted at Evans for breaking up the fight." James said with a sigh, "When she asked me to be the better person; I called her a hypocrite and told her to talk to me after she had lost someone the way I lost mum."

"You didn't!" Sirius exclaimed. James looked away, ashamed of himself.

"You are such a prat at times!" Sirius grumbled, "Did you forget that not so soon ago, her parents were tortured and murdered in a Death Eater attack?"

"I remembered as soon as I said it." James said earnestly, "I was so mad at everything, I took it out on her and it got out of hand."

"Did you apologise at least?"

"I did. Over and over and I am ready to do it again but she got mad and said that I was still a bullying toerag and nothing more. She doesn't want anything to do with me." James said running a hand through his hair. Sirius gave him a sympathetic look.

"I am just so tired of being angry, Padfoot." James sighed, "It's not helping anyone. But I don't know what else to do? How do I deal with this? How do we deal with this?"

"Maybe we should take a leaf out of Lily's book and just go back to being who we were." Sirius mused.

"Mum, wanted us to behave." James reminded Sirius.

"We haven't been behaving for the past month, have we?" Sirius asked wryly. James frowned.

"Why don't you try being a little better tomorrow?" Remus asked from his bed, wordlessly lighting and putting out his wand.

James and Sirius jumped. "Merlin, Moony!" Sirius exclaimed, "And what do you mean by that?"

"Well, I am not asking you to change yourself drastically." Remus said, trying different charms wordlessly. "Just throw a friendly smile at some first year. Be a little nicer to Marlene. She cares for you, Padfoot. Everyone can see that."

Sirius nodded, choosing to look out the window.

"This applies to you too, Prongs." Remus said, "Show Lily that you are truly sorry and you are trying to change. Merlin! You deserve an award for messing this up though! It was going so well."

James groaned, hiding his face in his hands. "Don't remind me! We were finally going somewhere. She had finally started seeing me and now, we are back to square one!"

Sirius shook his head muttering under his breath. Remus shrugged and went back to practising his spells.

* * *

"James is staring at you again." Marlene muttered in Lily's ear. The two of them were sitting in the library trying to finish as much work as they could before the Easter break so that they could relax during the week.

"Let him." Lily said not even bothering to look up from her book. This had been her life for the past few weeks. It's not as if James had not tried to apologise and she had accepted the apology, she understood the impotent rage he was feeling. But his words had made a crack in their fragile relationship. While she was cordial with him, she couldn't go back to being the way she was with him. It's not as if the sixth years had a lot of time anyway. Between classes, homework, tests, tutoring and Prefect duties Lily hardly had any time left for her friends. James had Quidditch practices instead of Prefect duties but his schedule was just as packed.

James and Sirius had gradually gone back to being their jovial selves and sometimes helped Remus tutor junior students. A third year had told Lily quite sincerely that James was the best tutor she ever had. Remus had let it slip on more than one occasion that James was trying to improve himself. Marlene had said as much about both Sirius and James.

It surprised Lily to no end that Marlene, who always grumbled about dealing with the midgets now happily planned tutoring sessions with Sirius. Lily was loathe to admit that she was a little jealous with what the duo had achieved. Even the professors were surprised at their attitude. The mischief making was there alright, but now Sirius Black and James Potter also showed signs of maturity and a sense of responsibility and it baffled the Hogwarts community, students and teachers alike.

"He is helping out first years." Alice added in a staged whisper.

Lily quirked an eyebrow, not bothering to look up from the piece she was trying to understand.

"Just saying," Alice said, "He has changed a lot."

Lily groaned, banging her head on the table repeatedly. Alice and Marlene snickered.

"You know you miss him." Marlene sang.

"I know that." Lily whined.

"And he is really making an effort." Marlene pointed out.

"I know that too."

"Then why are you making both your lives difficult?" Marlene asked.

"I just don't want to get hurt again." Lily said, "I let him in once and I know what he said was in anger but I don't think I have the maturity to just up and forget it. I can't. I don't know why his words hurt so much."

"Ah! There's my favourite little redhead." Sirius said, taking his seat next to Lily and throwing his arm around her shoulders.

"Sirius." Lily said in greeting, "What can I do for you, this fine afternoon?"

"Marlene would kill us both if I start making a request." He quipped giving her a wink. "Ow!" He whined clutching his leg, as Marlene looked at him with a satisfied smirk.

Lily and Alice grinned. It was entertaining the way Marlene and Sirius interacted with each other. They were at complete ease with each other.

"Marlene, Alice." Sirius said with a lazy smile, "May I borrow Red for a moment?"

Alice and Marlene exchanged an amused glance as Sirius pulled Lily to her feet and dragged her out.

"Where are you taking me?" Lily asked, as Sirius kept pulling her along.

"Here we are." Sirius announced as they reached an empty classroom where Remus was waiting for them.

"What is going on?"

"Its James' birthday on the 27th." Remus explained.

"So?" Lily asked folding her hands on her chest.

"So," Sirius said, "We need you to please give James a break."

"When have I been difficult with him?" Lily asked and then blushed when Sirius and Remus exchanged looks.

"Look Lily." Remus said, "We know James crossed a line the other night. But he really is trying."

Lily quirked an eyebrow.

"Look." Sirius said, "You know he is not a bad guy. He made a mistake and he feels miserable. Can't you just start afresh?"

"No, we can't." James said leaning against the doorway.

Lily looked at him, however he was looking at Remus and Sirius who looked away guiltily. Lily looked at him carefully, there were deep bags under his eyes, as if he had not slept for days. His hair was more dishevelled than normal and his cocky attitude was gone. While Lily examined James, the boy in question had a silent conversation with his friends who filed out of the classroom without uttering a single word. It was only after Sirius and Remus had left did James look at Lily.

"I am sorry." He said rubbing the back of his neck, "They shouldn't have done that."

Lily nodded. "You haven't slept in days, have you?" Lily asked.

James turned to look at her but did not say anything. Lily approached him carefully.

"I understand." Lily said taking his hand. "But you can't keep doing this. She wouldn't have wanted this for you."

James looked at her, emotions swirling in his hazel eyes. He looked down at their entwined hands and squeezed Lily's fingers.

"I should go. I need to help the first years with transfiguration." He said softly.

"James." Lily said, not disengaging their hands, "You are very good with them. They really look up to you. I-I- I was wrong, you are not a bullying toerag, anymore."

Lily patted his cheek softly before walking away. James stood rooted to his spot, one hand on his cheek, a dazed faraway expression on his face. It didn't ease the pain of losing his mother. It didn't make him sleep in peace at night but it meant something and that night James was able to sleep an hour longer than what he was used to. The war had taken its toll on children too. It had come knocking at Hogwarts' gates in disguise, giving nightmares to its inmates, seeping into their bones and making them tired. James woke up hours before dawn, Lily had spent nights like these not so long ago. Now she slept fitfully, waking up at times and wishing she could have James hold her again.

 **AN: I know I am going really slow with this one. By anyone's standards the two should have been dating each other by chapter 21 but they well be dating each other soon. How soon, I cannot say. Maybe the next chapter, maybe later. But hang on with us.**

 **Please do read and review! I would love to hear from you. And don't forget to fav/follow us.**

 **Hope you enjoyed this chapter.**

 **Much Love**

 **The Fishes**


	22. Chapter 22

Lily walked around Hogsmeade aimlessly. It was the last Hogsmeade weekend before the summer break. Exams were over and students swarmed the tiny village to celebrate the end of another year. Lily walked around, eyes full of wonder, heart filled with nostalgia and a sense of pure luck. It had been six years at Hogwarts already, and all of it felt like a dream. Sometime she worried that this was all a beautiful dream and she would wake up in her room as an eight year old with strange abilities. She smiled inwardly, when she was young, she used to believe that she was a mutant. In this moment she was filled such intense happiness, fear and nostalgia that the only outlet for her was to spread her arms out and twirl in the middle of the road, basking in the summer's sun. She let out a breathless laugh, not caring about what people thought of her.

James Potter laughed, shoving Peter away as the latter teased him about Lily Evans. Remus walked beside the two, smiling at their antics. They would return for their last year now, he reflected and the past six years had been the best of his life. He had found friends who accepted all of him; he had never expected that to happen. His heart swelled with happiness.

"What dirty little joke are you playing in your mind, Moony?" James' voice broke into his reverie, Peter sniggered beside him.

"Dirty jokes and me?" Remus asked innocently, his lips twitching.

"Yes you." Peter said grinning.

Remus rolled his eyes. "I am the innocent one, remember."

James and Peter laughed.

"Please," James said, "Sometime you make all of us blush. You have a dirty little mind, Lupin."

"Don't call his mind little." Peter said, "He likes everything _big._ "

James and Remus grinned. "Don't start with me, Pettigrew." Remus threatened.

James stopped walking suddenly and Remus bumped into him. Remus looked at where James was looking and saw Lily twirling in the sun, arms wide open, head thrown back, basking in the sun, laughing out of sheer happiness.

"Mate, you are whipped." Peter muttered looking at James' dazed expression.

Remus was also watching James; he knew that what James fancied Lily but James was looking at Lily as someone who had seen the most beautiful sight for the first time. His eyes widened when he realized that at seventeen, his friend had already found love.

"You should go talk to her." Remus said quietly.

"I shouldn't." James replied his eyes on Lily and a small smile on his face. "Our relationship is precarious. I don't want to tip the balance."

Remus nodded.

"Say," Peter said after a few minutes of silence. "When did Frank ask us to meet him?"

"2 o'clock. He wanted to spend some time alone with Alice." James replied.

"Look, who just showed up?" Remus muttered.

James and Peter looked up and saw Lucius Malfoy walking around with Bellatrix and Rodolphus Lestrange. Bellatrix went out of her way to bump into Lily, shoving her hard, but Lily held her ground. Fierce glares were exchanged between the two and Bellatrix whipped her wand out.

Lily had stopped twirling after a while, but she still stood with her head up and eyes closed. She never noticed Bellatrix's coming towards her. Her eyes flew open as she felt the hard shove; she teetered but was able to stand. She whipped around and was face to face with Bellatrix Lestrange. Lily glared at her, thrusting her chin out defiantly as Bellatrix glared back. Bellatrix whipped her wand out, training it at Lily who was holding her wand and staring at the witch with dispassion.

"Lily!" Remus said approaching her, "What are you doing here? We have been looking all over for you."

Lily's eyes flickered to Remus who pretended to not notice Bellatrix, when Lily didn't move he turned to face Bellatrix Lestrange, who was joined by Lucius Malfoy and her husband, just like James and Peter had joined Remus.

"Lestrange." Remus said politely, "My apologies, I didn't see you there. We should get going though, we have places to be. Lestrange, Malfoy."

Remus gave the two men a nod as he grabbed Lily's wrist and pulled her. He wound his other arm around James and steered them away.

"She didn't do anything to you, did she?" Peter asked taking his seat across from Lily and pushing a bottle of butterbeer to her. Lily shook her head, smiling gratefully at James and Remus who took their seats.

"What are they doing here though?" Remus wondered.

"Well, maybe they are here to meet Narcissa and Regulus Black." Lily replied.

"I hope it's just that." James muttered, running a hand through his hair.

"Come off it." Peter said, "This is Hogsmeade, they won't attack us here, not with Dumbledore living close by. You-know-who is scared of him."

"I am hoping that this fear is enough to keep them at bay." James said, darkly.

Before any of them could say anything, Sirius stormed to their table, Marlene in tow. Alice, Frank and surprisingly enough, Perseus Potter and Alexandra Spyropoulos followed behind.

"Sirius!" Remus exclaimed rising from his seat, "What happened?"

" _Silencio."_ Sirius muttered, not bothering with a reply. He let out a loud frustrated yell, followed with profanities. Lily jumped, she had seen Sirius in a mood before, but never had she seen him lose control like this. He collapsed into his seat a while later, taking a large swig from the bottle of firewhiskey Percy had gotten for them.

"What happened?" Remus asked Marlene, after everyone was done with their greetings.

"Bellatrix." Marlene replied, making a face. "We ran into her as we were coming here. She said some really horrible stuff. Sirius replied in kind, we would have gotten in a fight had Frank and Percy not stepped in."

"So, much for our happy surprise." Percy muttered, running a hand in his hair, just like his cousin.

"Aww.. Perce." James said, punching his arm. "I am glad you are here. Let's not darken our moods because of someone like Bellatrix Lestrange."

Percy grinned, and Lily was surprised by how much the two cousins looked and behaved like each other.

"They act like twins." Alexandra said catching her eye. Lily blushed. "And Percy, it's okay. I think you boys should go. Hang out with each other for a bit."

"Are you sure?" Percy asked uncertainly.

"Yeah." Alexandra said, "I hope the girls would keep me company."

James looked at his friends, "Shall we?" He asked.

James turned from the door and smiled at Lily before walking out.

"He is rather taken with you, isn't he?" Alexandra observed, as Marlene choked on her drink and Alice covered her laugh.

"What?" Lily squeaked.

"James." Alexandra said, "He is really taken with you."

She looked at Lily once again, her violet eyes analysing her.

"He didn't tell you?" She asked.

"In more ways than one." Marlene giggled.

"She never believed him though." Alice added.

"I-" Lily started protesting but was cut short. There was a resounding blast somewhere and the streets were filled with screams.

"They didn't!" Alice exclaimed horrified as she jumped to her feet, "There are children here!"

"EVERYONE!" Madame Rosemerta screamed, "OUT OF THE BACK DOOR! GO TO THE CASTLE. RUN!"

Lily looked across the room, it was full of students of all age and right now it was absolute pandemonium.

"We need to go with the younger students." Alice said.

"You should do that." Alexandra responded. "Girls, go with the others. I will help out there. Take care and be safe."

Lily was heartened to see that a lot of the older students were helping out the younger ones. "Alright! Everyone listen up!" Michael Puff, the Headboy from Hufflepuff called. "Here is how we will move. Two senior prefects will go ahead. The rest of the older students, grab hold of a couple of younger ones and move. I would be covering the rear with Carmichael and Brown."

Lily, Alice and Marlene immediately caught hold of two younger students each and started moving towards the castle. They were almost at the castle gates when a stunner hit, a fourth year ahead of them.

"DON'T STOP!" Puff bellowed, "DODGE AND RUN!"

Lily turned around to see Puff, Carmichael and Brown duelling with four Death Eaters and from the looks of it, the three boys were going to lose.

"We have to help them." Alice said.

"We have to ensure that this lot gets to the school." Marlene reminded them, panting slightly, they were a few feet from the gates.

"Listen." Lily said, grabbing hold of the girl she was helping, a third year Slytherin. "Can you make it to the gate from here?"  
The girl nodded, jumping slightly as a scream ripped through the air.

"Good. Run in. Tell someone!" Lily ordered, "Get a Professor. Okay?"

From the corner of her eye, Lily saw Marlene and Alice exchange quick words with the others and before they knew it the three of them were flying into a raging battle.

Carmichael was bleeding on the floor and Puff was screaming under the Cruciatus curse.

"STUPEFY!" Alice roared, aiming at the Death Eater torturing Puff and from that moment on the battle started again. The three girls soon realized that they were going to die if someone didn't come along. They were less skilled and didn't know as many spells as their opponents.

Some students stayed to help the girls as they ran back to the castle. The number of Death Eaters had also increased and while the students outnumbered the dark wizards, it was still the wizards who had the upper hand.

A cheer ran through the gates and Lily made the mistake of getting distracted, she turned only slightly to find the Professors and the Headmaster charging down the gates and that mistake was enough. She gasped in pain, as a knife sliced through her side. She looked at her rapidly staining shirt in shock before crumpling on the ground.

* * *

Lily wanted to groan as she felt something hot trickle down her side. There was a dull aching and she wondered how she got herself hurt. Her eyes flew open as she remembered it, bolting upright in a hurry. She gasped as her side stung.

"Lily!" Alice exclaimed, "Lie down! You took a nasty curse back there."

"Alice?" Lily asked frantically, "Oh! You are alright! What happened? Is everyone okay?"

"Yes. Everyone is fine. Don't worry." Alice said.

"But what happened? Is Carmichael okay?" Lily asked. "Last I remember, seeing the Professors join the fight."

"Ah! Ms. Evans!" Madam Pompfrey said. "You are awake. Good! Are you hungry?"

"Famished." Lily replied rubbing her stomach, suddenly realizing that she really was hungry.

Madam Pompfrey nodded and left to get some food.

"Alice, did Mary make it back in time?" Lily asked anxiously.

"Yes. She came back after lunch as she wanted to start packing. You know how she is." Alice replied.

"And the boys?" Lily asked.

"They are fine too. They suffered a couple of nasty hexes and cuts, but they made it out fine."

"Where is Marlene?" Lily asked.

"Probably stopping the boys from going after Snape." Alice said unhappily.

"They are at it again?" Lily asked, "He wasn't even there!"

"No, that's not it." Alice said, "And trust me, I want to wring the little bludger's neck myself."

"Alice, Come on!"

"Do you know the curse that hit you?" Alice asked.

"Cutting hex? A strong one at that."

"No. This was not a cutting hex." Alice replied. "When they brought in Carmichael and you… Well, they had to send Carmichael to St. Mungo's immediately. Your wounds refused to heal; no spell or potion healed them. They had to keep on giving you blood- replenishing potion, to stop you from bleeding to death. Even Professor Dumbledore was worried."

Lily stared at Alice.

"By dinner that night, news had spread about Carmichael and you." Alice said rubbing her nose angrily. "They had kicked all of us out and James was going ballistic. So, he sneaked in here and hid himself. He saw Dumbledore walk in looking livid, with Snape in tow. James watched Snape perform some spell at you and you started to heal."

"Severus helped us?" Lily asked, hope raising it's head in her heart. Maybe he was not too far gone.

Alice shook her head. "He created this curse. It was his spell and that's how he knew the cure. But the thing is- it is a dark curse. His spell stopped your bleeding, but James heard Snape say that the wound will never heal completely."

Lily nodded.

Alice nodded in response. "It will leave a long scar. Dumbledore however, ensured that Phoenix tears were used on your wounds. Carmichael is at St. Mungo's he lost too much blood, came within an inch of losing his life. No one knows how he is right now."

"This is horrible!" Lily exclaimed. "How could he create a curse like that?"

Alice shrugged, not saying anything. They watched Madam Pompfrey bustle in with a tray of food. Alice stood up as Lily was served with some food.

"I will go inform the others that you are awake. They would like to see you." She said before leaving.

* * *

Lily let her head fall in exhaustion as Madam Pompfrey cleared her tray away. She felt the soft rustle of someone's robes next to her but didn't bother to open her eyes. Calloused hands touched her hand and Lily smiled. The only person she knew with such calloused hands was Sirius.

"What would my best friend say when she catches you holding my hand?" Lily asked with a wide smile eyes still closed.

No one replied but his grip tightened on her hand.

"Sirius!" Lily said with a laugh cracking her eyes open. "What are- _you!"_

Lily gasped as she saw Severus Snape holding her hand, when had his hands become so strong and calloused?

"What are you doing here?" She asked, trying to wrench her hand free.

"I just wanted to see how you were." Severus said, "I saw Prewett step out, thought I would come see you."

Lily glared at him.

"How are you feeling?" Severus asked, cupping her cheek. "Does it hurt?"

"What do you care?" Lily asked slapping his hand away.

"Don't be like that." Severus coaxed.

Lily's gave him a hard glare.

"You created the spell that sliced me open! That curse is fatal! What were you thinking?" Lily hissed.

Severus paled.

"How do you know?" He asked hoarsely.

"Doesn't matter." Lily spat, "After all these year, I can't believe you would do something like this."

"It- it wasn't meant for you." Severus said hurriedly, Lily laughed humourlessly.

"Lily, please. You have to believe me. I would never hurt you like that, this curse was never supposed to hit you. You shouldn't even have been in the fight. What were you thinking?"

"Are you serious?" Lily asked flabbergasted, "I was trying to- and what do you mean the curse was not _supposed_ to hit me? What? You mean you don't care if it hits anyone else? You don't care if someone else dies?"

Severus opened his mouth to say something but he closed it again. Lily watched him closely, her mind working curiously.

She gasped, "It was you." She stated.

Severus looked at her, "It was me?"

"Mary's attack. It was your curse. _This_ curse precisely. Wasn't it? You-you let Avery and Mulciber test it out on a _person!"_ Lily shrieked hysterically.

"Lily I- Please, you need to understand!" Severus said holding her hand again. " _No one_ will hurt you again. Don't worry."

"What is that even supposed to mean?" Lily snapped, "So, you are okay with others being killed with this curse as long as I am spared? You don't care if Mary is attacked or Puff or Fenwick, as long as I live. Why? If you are going to butcher all muggleborns, why must I be any different?"

"Because you are not some muggleborn-"

"Then what am I?" Lily shouted.

Severus opened his mouth to say something, to tell her that she was special, that she was perfect, that she breathed magical.

"I think you should leave." Lily said with a tired sigh.

"Lily-"

"You heard the girl." Marlene said walking to Severus and pushing him back. "Leave."

"Mckinnon-" Severus snapped.

"If I were you." Mary said joining Marlene, Lily watched as the Marauders and Alice joined them too. "I would leave."

Severus stepped back giving all of them an angry glare before leaving the room in a huff.

"Prat!" Mary muttered before turning brightly to Lily. "Flower! You are awake!"

Lily was pinned under the weight of Alice, Marlene and Mary as they pulled her in a hug.

"You are suffocating the invalid." Sirius laughed.

"Lily." He said ruffling her hair, "Don't pull such a stunt ever again."

Lily cracked a smile as Remus stepped forward to hug her, followed by Peter. James gave her a half grin but didn't approach her.

She held her hand out for him with a small, hesitant smile. Alice moved, to allow James to step forward as the others settled in chairs around her bed.

"Are you alright?" James asked softly. Lily grinned at him.

"Thank you." Lily said softly.

"What for?" James asked.

"Sneaking out and checking on me at night."

James blushed, rubbing the back of his neck abashedly.

"Get a room, you two." Peter groaned.

"Peter!" Alice exclaimed, "Why did you do that?"

"Yeah!" Marlene whined, "I was about to wi- _ahem -_ I mean they looked cute together."

"Why am I even friends with you?" James groaned his hand still in Lily's hand.

"Because you have a big heart and we would be lost without you." Remus said.

"Remus!" Lily exclaimed, "Don't say that, his ego would take up the entire room now."

"Not you too." James groaned. "What have I ever done to you?"

All of them gave James a look.

"Okay, Okay." James said, holding his hand up in surrender. "Plenty, I guess."

"Okay, all of you go back to your dormitories." Madam Pompfrey said, "Miss. Evans needs to rest."

"When will she be out?" James asked anxiously. "Will you allow her to attend the feast tonight?"

"Yes. If she isn't disturbed for the rest of the day, she may join you for the feast and subsequently return to her dormitory." Madam Pompfrey said.

"Great!" Sirius said clapping his hands once. "Hate to leave you here, Evans. But you heard the nurse! We will see you tonight."

"Don't worry about packing your stuff." Mary added, "We already packed everything for you."

Lily smiled till all of her friends were out of her sight. Then she fell back in her bed, eyes wet because of Severus. She couldn't understand, what went wrong with him. He wasn't always like that, was he? Sure, he was mean to Petunia but then Petunia was no saint either. And he had told her, he had promised her that her blood status would not matter. _He_ told her it didn't matter. How could he become this-this person she didn't even recognize any more?

 **AN: And the sixth year ends. Now comes the year of Headboy and Headgirl and love! Excited! Keep your hats on!**

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 **I hope you had a good time reading it.**

 **Much Love**

 **The Fishes**


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